Tuesday 21st May
So here we are at the end of the journey, and it has been a journey. In the great scheme of things it has only been 5 months and two weeks since I was diagnosed, a very small part of my life so far but it has seemed so much longer.
Mandy last night summed up the events quite nicely. There have certainly been highs and some very low lows but now it is time to move on. I will never forget, and certainly won't be allowed to as I move from check up to check up. I think it will be a shadow that is constantly there. Already the slightest thing wrong and you immediately look to whether it could be related to the cancer. This will fade somewhat with time but I guess an underlying fear will always be present.
What I really want to talk about tonight is friendship. As the saying goes, at times like these you find out who your friends are, and I have certainly not found them wanting. The support I have received right from the start has been nothing short of amazing. I could not have made a better decision than to be very public about what was happening. The constant stream of encouragement and messages that I have received has helped beyond belief. The world would have seemed an even darker place than it did without you and for that I am eternally grateful to all of you.
My family have been there all the way with me as well. It has not been easy for them as I went through periods of not really wanting to see people or being able to, but knowing they were there for me and probably more importantly for Mandy was such a comfort.
Ben has turned out to be the kind of son I could only have dreamt of having. I know this has not been easy for him watching me going through the treatment and not being myself at all. Being a teenager he perhaps has not been able to express this but he is so loving and caring, and in just getting on with his life whilst chaos ruled around him he helped no end. I am very proud of him indeed.
So this brings me to Mandy. We used to laugh together about what a rubbish nurse she was when any illness came along in the family. She could just about manage ten minutes of sympathy before it would run out and she would be impatient for you to be better. But as I should have known with Mand, when the chips were down she can step forward and do anything.
I am struggling here to say what I want to. I have written a few things but deleted them again, so I am going to keep it simple and short.
She has quite simply been the reason I have got through this in the manner I have. We have laughed and cried our way through together. She has held my hand through the worst time of my life and made it all better. I owe her so much. Thank you Mand. I love you.
I think I had better finish there. Thank you all so much for reading this.
Cheers and goodbye.
Tim
Tuesday, 21 May 2013
Monday, 20 May 2013
A wife's view for the last time
Monday 20th May
So this is my final post, Tim will rightly have the last word tomorrow.
Firstly to yesterday, a day and a race that Tim had throughout his treatment set his sights on getting to the finish line of. He had done so well with his training, picking his speeds and distances up far quicker than I thought he would...or should at times! Determination and competitiveness is deep within him though so I don't know why I was surprised. Outwardly yesterday morning he was very calm, more so than normal before a race. He seemed totally focused on that finish line and nothing was getting in his way. When we arrived he soon found other Evesham runners and Kurt his running mate so Ben and I set off to get as far round the course as possible to wave him on. We had procured a banner from ebay with 'Run Tim Run' printed on it which we could hold up to encourage him further. We managed to walk to the 2 mile marker but after all we could do was wait for him again at the end, trusting him to Kurt.
We waited at the finish knowing he would be around the 2 hour mark, and watched other Evesham runners come in. Not long before he was due an ambulance went off lights flashing and I must admit I did say to Ben 'they better not be going to scrape your Dad up into that!' Not long after though we saw him come into view, looking OK with legs still capable of movement. I was very pleased to see him cross that line.
I have to admit yesterday was a very difficult day for me. Going to the race I felt as nervous as if I was running it myself. I did have a word with Kurt before the start asking him to slow Tim down and generally look after him. He did both and I'm very grateful to him for that. Even after he had finished though when I knew he was round and OK, I struggled with the emotion of it all. Also today I could be tearful if pushed, just sheer relief I think.
Time really has gone quickly but there were points when I thought things couldn't get any worse. They could of course have been much worse and in reality we have been lucky, we got the outcome we were promised. If this experience has taught us nothing else its that there is always someone in a more difficult place than you. Through the process we have touched lives with plenty of others who could expect very different results from Tim's.
And so, as in all good writings, I need a conclusion, the highs and the lows. Lets start with the latter first as there were plenty of them. I will never forget sitting in either of the consultant's rooms, both the initial surgeon's and later the oncologist's and listening in disbelief to what they had to say. Then crying all the way home, trying to still drive safely. That happened too after leaving Tim in A&E, one of the very lowest points of the whole experience. The worst thing of all though was watching my lovely fit husband go through something that made him so ill, and having to try and convince myself that they did know what they were doing and to trust them.
Finding highs is harder, there are only two. I will never forget the support we have received from all those around us. Some I would hope to be able to call on in times of crisis and they have all stepped up to the plate and beyond. There have been others though that I personally didn't really know before who have sent regular messages of support to us both. And the second obvious high is that we were right to trust them at the hospital, they did know their stuff and I have got my man back, not quite in one piece (!) but near enough.
Ben has been fantastic despite being a teenager.
Thank you all and I leave Tim to finish.
Mandy
So this is my final post, Tim will rightly have the last word tomorrow.
Firstly to yesterday, a day and a race that Tim had throughout his treatment set his sights on getting to the finish line of. He had done so well with his training, picking his speeds and distances up far quicker than I thought he would...or should at times! Determination and competitiveness is deep within him though so I don't know why I was surprised. Outwardly yesterday morning he was very calm, more so than normal before a race. He seemed totally focused on that finish line and nothing was getting in his way. When we arrived he soon found other Evesham runners and Kurt his running mate so Ben and I set off to get as far round the course as possible to wave him on. We had procured a banner from ebay with 'Run Tim Run' printed on it which we could hold up to encourage him further. We managed to walk to the 2 mile marker but after all we could do was wait for him again at the end, trusting him to Kurt.
We waited at the finish knowing he would be around the 2 hour mark, and watched other Evesham runners come in. Not long before he was due an ambulance went off lights flashing and I must admit I did say to Ben 'they better not be going to scrape your Dad up into that!' Not long after though we saw him come into view, looking OK with legs still capable of movement. I was very pleased to see him cross that line.
I have to admit yesterday was a very difficult day for me. Going to the race I felt as nervous as if I was running it myself. I did have a word with Kurt before the start asking him to slow Tim down and generally look after him. He did both and I'm very grateful to him for that. Even after he had finished though when I knew he was round and OK, I struggled with the emotion of it all. Also today I could be tearful if pushed, just sheer relief I think.
Time really has gone quickly but there were points when I thought things couldn't get any worse. They could of course have been much worse and in reality we have been lucky, we got the outcome we were promised. If this experience has taught us nothing else its that there is always someone in a more difficult place than you. Through the process we have touched lives with plenty of others who could expect very different results from Tim's.
And so, as in all good writings, I need a conclusion, the highs and the lows. Lets start with the latter first as there were plenty of them. I will never forget sitting in either of the consultant's rooms, both the initial surgeon's and later the oncologist's and listening in disbelief to what they had to say. Then crying all the way home, trying to still drive safely. That happened too after leaving Tim in A&E, one of the very lowest points of the whole experience. The worst thing of all though was watching my lovely fit husband go through something that made him so ill, and having to try and convince myself that they did know what they were doing and to trust them.
Finding highs is harder, there are only two. I will never forget the support we have received from all those around us. Some I would hope to be able to call on in times of crisis and they have all stepped up to the plate and beyond. There have been others though that I personally didn't really know before who have sent regular messages of support to us both. And the second obvious high is that we were right to trust them at the hospital, they did know their stuff and I have got my man back, not quite in one piece (!) but near enough.
Ben has been fantastic despite being a teenager.
Thank you all and I leave Tim to finish.
Mandy
Sunday, 19 May 2013
Race day
Sunday 19th May
Today has been quite a day. The blog has been building to this point from the start, and fortunately the plan came together. There was no guarantee that I would have beaten the cancer or even be able to make the start line when I booked the race, but here I am sat in bed absolutely knackered but very happy writing this.
There is so much to put in here but it is so late that this will probably not be the whole tale of the day before I fall asleep. It was certainly eventful ( thank you Mr Leathers! ) but worked out in the end.
The weather was almost perfect, although perhaps just a little hot ( not many times we can say that recently ). The race itself went perfectly to plan. We started with a group of six of us but this whittled down to just Kurt and I in the end. Kurt was invaluable today, without him it could have been very painful. He slowed me down when I was going too quick and just talked to me the whole way to keep me going, although the next time he quotes Shakespeare during a race he had better make sure the guy running next to us is not there. He launched into several minutes of explaining that Shakespeare did not write any plays followed by the facts proving that the Titanic is not the Titanic. Great party guest!!
We finished bang on planned time at 1 hour 55 minutes 12 seconds. A personal worst for me but there haven't been many as satisfying as this one. Di from our club was waiting for me on the finish line with a bouquet of flowers, followed by a crate of beer.
I was so tired I did have to find shade to sit in for a few minutes where I had to take on water and a banana before I could stand again. Whilst I was there I was interviewed by Heart FM which will go out on the breakfast programme tomorrow, although whether I made any sense I'm not sure.
Unfortunately Richard then produced his party piece and had a bit of a collapse after finishing and as I was one of the last remaining Evesham runners there I had to wait while they sorted him out in the back of an ambulance and then drive him home in his car. He promptly fainted again in the car after only about a mile but came round in only about 30 seconds and fortunately picked up from there onwards. He was fine when I saw him later in the afternoon but he didn't half scare me.
We finished the day with a BBQ with friends which was great.
I struggle to find the words to say how grateful I am to everyone for their support. It makes me feel very humble.
Mandy will finish off her thoughts tomorrow night and then I will finish the blog completely on Tuesday.
Till then.
Tim
Today has been quite a day. The blog has been building to this point from the start, and fortunately the plan came together. There was no guarantee that I would have beaten the cancer or even be able to make the start line when I booked the race, but here I am sat in bed absolutely knackered but very happy writing this.
There is so much to put in here but it is so late that this will probably not be the whole tale of the day before I fall asleep. It was certainly eventful ( thank you Mr Leathers! ) but worked out in the end.
The weather was almost perfect, although perhaps just a little hot ( not many times we can say that recently ). The race itself went perfectly to plan. We started with a group of six of us but this whittled down to just Kurt and I in the end. Kurt was invaluable today, without him it could have been very painful. He slowed me down when I was going too quick and just talked to me the whole way to keep me going, although the next time he quotes Shakespeare during a race he had better make sure the guy running next to us is not there. He launched into several minutes of explaining that Shakespeare did not write any plays followed by the facts proving that the Titanic is not the Titanic. Great party guest!!
We finished bang on planned time at 1 hour 55 minutes 12 seconds. A personal worst for me but there haven't been many as satisfying as this one. Di from our club was waiting for me on the finish line with a bouquet of flowers, followed by a crate of beer.
I was so tired I did have to find shade to sit in for a few minutes where I had to take on water and a banana before I could stand again. Whilst I was there I was interviewed by Heart FM which will go out on the breakfast programme tomorrow, although whether I made any sense I'm not sure.
Unfortunately Richard then produced his party piece and had a bit of a collapse after finishing and as I was one of the last remaining Evesham runners there I had to wait while they sorted him out in the back of an ambulance and then drive him home in his car. He promptly fainted again in the car after only about a mile but came round in only about 30 seconds and fortunately picked up from there onwards. He was fine when I saw him later in the afternoon but he didn't half scare me.
We finished the day with a BBQ with friends which was great.
I struggle to find the words to say how grateful I am to everyone for their support. It makes me feel very humble.
Mandy will finish off her thoughts tomorrow night and then I will finish the blog completely on Tuesday.
Till then.
Tim
Saturday, 18 May 2013
Preparing
Saturday 18th May
One day to go to Tewkesbury. We have spent the day mostly getting ready for the party after the race. We have put up a small marquee and been to do the food and drink shopping. Now all we need is a bit of decent weather for the BBQ and we will be rocking.
Not thought too much about the actual race today which is good. People keep saying to me 'it will be quite emotional when you finish' which it will be but I have tried not to dwell on it. It will be a closure of sorts as I really do feel very close to being completely back to normal. Once this is done I have no excuses left, although Mand keeps on reminding me that it is not that long since I have finished and I must still be careful. The body can take a long time to totally recover and it would be easy to overdo it. I think I will take a break from the running for about a week ( yeah right! ), maybe until next Saturday then.
I have received plenty of messages of good luck on Facebook and through the running club today which is fabulous. The total on the sponsorship has now topped £1000 which is tremendous.
So the pasta has been eaten and the kit is out ready. Just need a good night's sleep and off we go.
Cheers till tomorrow.
Tim
One day to go to Tewkesbury. We have spent the day mostly getting ready for the party after the race. We have put up a small marquee and been to do the food and drink shopping. Now all we need is a bit of decent weather for the BBQ and we will be rocking.
Not thought too much about the actual race today which is good. People keep saying to me 'it will be quite emotional when you finish' which it will be but I have tried not to dwell on it. It will be a closure of sorts as I really do feel very close to being completely back to normal. Once this is done I have no excuses left, although Mand keeps on reminding me that it is not that long since I have finished and I must still be careful. The body can take a long time to totally recover and it would be easy to overdo it. I think I will take a break from the running for about a week ( yeah right! ), maybe until next Saturday then.
I have received plenty of messages of good luck on Facebook and through the running club today which is fabulous. The total on the sponsorship has now topped £1000 which is tremendous.
So the pasta has been eaten and the kit is out ready. Just need a good night's sleep and off we go.
Cheers till tomorrow.
Tim
Friday, 17 May 2013
Work and not a lot else!
Friday 17th May
It is tough to write anything particularly meaningful and deep on a day when I have basically been to work and come home. Bear with me lets see what I can come up with.
Last night we played the semi final of the Champion of champions. We won but not by much, beating the team who won division 3 this year. We qualified by winning division one ( and the knockout cup but they wouldn't give us two places ). We will play the winners of division 2 in the final on Monday. I had the top score last night as well. It has been a successful season this year as we have won five trophies so far and hopefully another on Monday.
Sunday's race now seems very close. I feel OK at the moment but I will be nervous on the morning itself. Just pray for good running weather, not too hot and not windy, but it will be what it will be. On the other hand it would be nice if it was a decent afternoon as we are having a BBQ.
I have had the date of my first check up through today, August the 15th. It doesn't seem very far away, they are obviously going to see me every 3 months to start with. The first two should be with my Macmillan nurse Zoe and then I will have to see the doctor on the third visit. Only 9 years 9 months to go!
Cheers until tomorrow.
Tim
It is tough to write anything particularly meaningful and deep on a day when I have basically been to work and come home. Bear with me lets see what I can come up with.
Last night we played the semi final of the Champion of champions. We won but not by much, beating the team who won division 3 this year. We qualified by winning division one ( and the knockout cup but they wouldn't give us two places ). We will play the winners of division 2 in the final on Monday. I had the top score last night as well. It has been a successful season this year as we have won five trophies so far and hopefully another on Monday.
Sunday's race now seems very close. I feel OK at the moment but I will be nervous on the morning itself. Just pray for good running weather, not too hot and not windy, but it will be what it will be. On the other hand it would be nice if it was a decent afternoon as we are having a BBQ.
I have had the date of my first check up through today, August the 15th. It doesn't seem very far away, they are obviously going to see me every 3 months to start with. The first two should be with my Macmillan nurse Zoe and then I will have to see the doctor on the third visit. Only 9 years 9 months to go!
Cheers until tomorrow.
Tim
Thursday, 16 May 2013
Sponsorship
Thursday 16th May
I have been pushing on with the fund raising effort of sponsorship for me running on Sunday. Yet again I have been overwhelmed by the level of support I am getting. By now I should not be surprised but it still gets me every time. I am approaching the £1000 mark which is just fantastic. It feels like everyone I ever run with will be there on Sunday taking part, I really should be getting commission from the organisers.
No training today, I have finished now until the race. Normally I would probably have had a run on Friday but maybe not this time. Although !!
I have just been reading the blog from 19th of Feb onwards. It was around the horrible night I spent in A & E in Worcester. I had obviously not re-read it before as I had not noticed that on the 19th I had put that I didn't feel very well but hopefully I would have nothing to write for a few days, that it would be boring but I just wanted a couple of quiet days. How much more wrong could I have been. I think it was one of the worst nights of my life along with the night Ben broke his leg when he was only three ( in a soft play area of all places, what a numpty ).
We had to put up with so much for those couple of days with the temperature and sickness, the awful treatment I received at Worcester, and then straight off for another bout of chemo. God I'm glad it is over now.
I'm off to play skittles now, it is the semi final of the champion of champions competition.
Cheers
Tim
I have been pushing on with the fund raising effort of sponsorship for me running on Sunday. Yet again I have been overwhelmed by the level of support I am getting. By now I should not be surprised but it still gets me every time. I am approaching the £1000 mark which is just fantastic. It feels like everyone I ever run with will be there on Sunday taking part, I really should be getting commission from the organisers.
No training today, I have finished now until the race. Normally I would probably have had a run on Friday but maybe not this time. Although !!
I have just been reading the blog from 19th of Feb onwards. It was around the horrible night I spent in A & E in Worcester. I had obviously not re-read it before as I had not noticed that on the 19th I had put that I didn't feel very well but hopefully I would have nothing to write for a few days, that it would be boring but I just wanted a couple of quiet days. How much more wrong could I have been. I think it was one of the worst nights of my life along with the night Ben broke his leg when he was only three ( in a soft play area of all places, what a numpty ).
We had to put up with so much for those couple of days with the temperature and sickness, the awful treatment I received at Worcester, and then straight off for another bout of chemo. God I'm glad it is over now.
I'm off to play skittles now, it is the semi final of the champion of champions competition.
Cheers
Tim
Wednesday, 15 May 2013
No news is good news
Wednesday 15th May
I'm struggling to find anything to write about tonight, which in the great scheme of things is probably a positive.
Normal day at work, followed by a rush to fetch my mum's birthday present which was at Mandy's mum's house and deliver it to my mum who is 83 tomorrow. I can't go over tomorrow as there is just too much on including skittles in the evening.
From mum and dad's house I went for a last run before Sunday's race. A nice little 4 miles including some hills which I really need to work on, but I can feel I am getting stronger and quicker with every outing.
Picked up chips on the way home so it was a complete waste of time in terms of burning calories!
Now just sat trying to relax.
Cheers
Tim
I'm struggling to find anything to write about tonight, which in the great scheme of things is probably a positive.
Normal day at work, followed by a rush to fetch my mum's birthday present which was at Mandy's mum's house and deliver it to my mum who is 83 tomorrow. I can't go over tomorrow as there is just too much on including skittles in the evening.
From mum and dad's house I went for a last run before Sunday's race. A nice little 4 miles including some hills which I really need to work on, but I can feel I am getting stronger and quicker with every outing.
Picked up chips on the way home so it was a complete waste of time in terms of burning calories!
Now just sat trying to relax.
Cheers
Tim
Tuesday, 14 May 2013
Interview
Tuesday 14th May
I have just been interviewed by the Vale magazine for a piece they are going to write about me in the June edition. They are talking to Ben now and will talk to Mandy tomorrow, I hope they only say nice things about me. It will be strange to see it all in print again not just here in the blog. Once again I hope it just helps other people and perhaps does some good.
Flights for the holiday are booked ( hurray ), and the villa is reserved ( hurray ), just need to pay now ( boo ).
I re-read the first few posts from the blog just to check a few dates and details. They were all for my first stay for chemo in hospital. Although it was 5 months ago now it is still very fresh in the memory. I hope I never have to go back to being attached to a drip for ten hours at a time. It was all so alien and the tiredness was just so complete. I think reading it is good for me but I can feel myself getting emotional straight away. Perhaps I'm just tired.
No more for tonight as it is getting late.
Cheers
Tim
I have just been interviewed by the Vale magazine for a piece they are going to write about me in the June edition. They are talking to Ben now and will talk to Mandy tomorrow, I hope they only say nice things about me. It will be strange to see it all in print again not just here in the blog. Once again I hope it just helps other people and perhaps does some good.
Flights for the holiday are booked ( hurray ), and the villa is reserved ( hurray ), just need to pay now ( boo ).
I re-read the first few posts from the blog just to check a few dates and details. They were all for my first stay for chemo in hospital. Although it was 5 months ago now it is still very fresh in the memory. I hope I never have to go back to being attached to a drip for ten hours at a time. It was all so alien and the tiredness was just so complete. I think reading it is good for me but I can feel myself getting emotional straight away. Perhaps I'm just tired.
No more for tonight as it is getting late.
Cheers
Tim
Monday, 13 May 2013
Yet more running
Monday 13th May
Another normal busy day at work then back for a training run with the club in the evening. I'm not sure how far tonight as my Garmin turned itself off halfway round but I guess about 5 miles. It has been nice running with different people at club instead of the usual suspects. It gives you something different to talk about and different views on running. Also my little troop for Tewkesbury grew by another one today, I think at the moment there will be 3 or 4 people running with me.
I randomly picked a day to look back at in the blog. 31st of January. It seems a lifetime ago yet it was a chemo outpatient day and it was the fifth session of nine in total so as I remarked we were officially over half way. By that point I was really getting stressed by these brief visits, I was sick in the morning before this one. I also had real problems sitting still. I remember this one particularly as I really couldn't keep my legs and feet from twitching, I just wanted to get up and run around (or away I suspect ). It makes me feel very strange reading these old posts, it is still way too fresh. I can feel myself getting emotional straight away. I'm pretty good at locking things away but during this experience that could not be done and emotion became the norm. Perhaps a good thing, I don't think keeping it in would have been at all good. I know Mand really struggled as she felt she had to contain some of it so as not to upset me, so we just saved it up for a bit then let it go bang, had a cry and a cuddle and then got on with it.
Right, I have important stuff to attend to. We have found a villa in Italy so need to find flights and decide if we want to add a couple of days somewhere else onto the end. Boy do we need this holiday.
Cheers
Tim
Another normal busy day at work then back for a training run with the club in the evening. I'm not sure how far tonight as my Garmin turned itself off halfway round but I guess about 5 miles. It has been nice running with different people at club instead of the usual suspects. It gives you something different to talk about and different views on running. Also my little troop for Tewkesbury grew by another one today, I think at the moment there will be 3 or 4 people running with me.
I randomly picked a day to look back at in the blog. 31st of January. It seems a lifetime ago yet it was a chemo outpatient day and it was the fifth session of nine in total so as I remarked we were officially over half way. By that point I was really getting stressed by these brief visits, I was sick in the morning before this one. I also had real problems sitting still. I remember this one particularly as I really couldn't keep my legs and feet from twitching, I just wanted to get up and run around (or away I suspect ). It makes me feel very strange reading these old posts, it is still way too fresh. I can feel myself getting emotional straight away. I'm pretty good at locking things away but during this experience that could not be done and emotion became the norm. Perhaps a good thing, I don't think keeping it in would have been at all good. I know Mand really struggled as she felt she had to contain some of it so as not to upset me, so we just saved it up for a bit then let it go bang, had a cry and a cuddle and then got on with it.
Right, I have important stuff to attend to. We have found a villa in Italy so need to find flights and decide if we want to add a couple of days somewhere else onto the end. Boy do we need this holiday.
Cheers
Tim
Sunday, 12 May 2013
More miles (with sheep)
Sunday 12th May
Today was just about clocking as many miles as I could in one run. Set off through town and up the Cheltenham Road as far as Hinton. I was going to turn right towards Elmley Castle but at the last minute decided to go left towards Childswickham. I have done this run a few times before and was sure it was around 9.5 miles so I would just need a short detour it when I got back to town to make it up to 10 miles. From Childswickham you head for Wickhamford, and this is where I met a sheep stood in the middle of the road. It stood it's ground until I got quite close but then realised I was a hard looking bastard with a skinhead and legged it. I had a bit of a panic as we weren't far from the main road but fortunately it found a gap in the hedge and disappeared into a field.
It was also around this point that I started to figure my memory of the distance involved was a bit off. I was going to reach 10 miles somewhere around the top of Port Street leaving me another mile to go so a total of 11. Oh well, never mind just plough on. I made the full 11 in 1 hour 34 minutes so well inside the target pace for next week's half marathon. I did have to walk a few times but only when I hit an uphill stretch and still managed to keep them to 1 minute at a time.
The legs have felt a little heavy this afternoon, especially after sitting down for a while, but that is only to be expected.
The rest of the day was filled with a shopping trip to Stratford for Mand to get some clothes, although I did join in the buying from Fat Face as they had a sale on. Well it would have been rude not to.
I said from the start of this blog that I would take it through to the race in Tewkesbury which is next Sunday. The final post will probably be a day or two later as race day will be really busy as we are having a bit of a party afterwards. It will be really strange not to be doing it every day, maybe I will start a diary instead. I think I will reread some of the early posts and reminisce during this week before a bit of a summing up at the end. I know Mand would like to do one too.
Cheers
Tim
Today was just about clocking as many miles as I could in one run. Set off through town and up the Cheltenham Road as far as Hinton. I was going to turn right towards Elmley Castle but at the last minute decided to go left towards Childswickham. I have done this run a few times before and was sure it was around 9.5 miles so I would just need a short detour it when I got back to town to make it up to 10 miles. From Childswickham you head for Wickhamford, and this is where I met a sheep stood in the middle of the road. It stood it's ground until I got quite close but then realised I was a hard looking bastard with a skinhead and legged it. I had a bit of a panic as we weren't far from the main road but fortunately it found a gap in the hedge and disappeared into a field.
It was also around this point that I started to figure my memory of the distance involved was a bit off. I was going to reach 10 miles somewhere around the top of Port Street leaving me another mile to go so a total of 11. Oh well, never mind just plough on. I made the full 11 in 1 hour 34 minutes so well inside the target pace for next week's half marathon. I did have to walk a few times but only when I hit an uphill stretch and still managed to keep them to 1 minute at a time.
The legs have felt a little heavy this afternoon, especially after sitting down for a while, but that is only to be expected.
The rest of the day was filled with a shopping trip to Stratford for Mand to get some clothes, although I did join in the buying from Fat Face as they had a sale on. Well it would have been rude not to.
I said from the start of this blog that I would take it through to the race in Tewkesbury which is next Sunday. The final post will probably be a day or two later as race day will be really busy as we are having a bit of a party afterwards. It will be really strange not to be doing it every day, maybe I will start a diary instead. I think I will reread some of the early posts and reminisce during this week before a bit of a summing up at the end. I know Mand would like to do one too.
Cheers
Tim
Saturday, 11 May 2013
Running holiday
Saturday 11th May
It is hard to believe but I has actually been a longer time since I finished my treatment than I spent being treated. The last 10 weeks have flown by whereas the previous 9 seemed like a lifetime of misery.
At the moment we only seem to be able to focus on two things.
Firstly finding a holiday. We just want a villa somewhere not too far away where it will be hot, but bearing in mind we will have to go during the school summer holidays it bloody well should be hot. We have to balance the needs of myself (don't care as long as the villa is comfy and I can do nothing much for a week), Mandy (the same but would like some places of interest near by to visit), Ben (wifi!!!!) and Mandy's Mum (not too hot and that everyone else is happy). Unfortunately as we have had to leave it till now a lot of the places we have found that we like are already booked, but something will turn up.
Secondly the race in Tewkesbury. I am more nervous about this one than any other I have ever run. There is some pressure on me to finish (mostly by myself) knowing that a lot of friends will be there willing me on and to see me cross the line. Also of course I must finish because of the sponsorship money I have already collected. At least two friends are going to run with me which will help no end. Mandy is particularly pleased as she thinks I will run too fast on my own and overdo it, not helped by my cancer specialist's reaction to me telling him about the race, but the guys will slow me down being the sensible chaps they are.
The plan is to try to run 10 miles tomorrow morning. I think this will involve some walking but that is OK. Hope the weather is better than today.
Cheers
Tim
It is hard to believe but I has actually been a longer time since I finished my treatment than I spent being treated. The last 10 weeks have flown by whereas the previous 9 seemed like a lifetime of misery.
At the moment we only seem to be able to focus on two things.
Firstly finding a holiday. We just want a villa somewhere not too far away where it will be hot, but bearing in mind we will have to go during the school summer holidays it bloody well should be hot. We have to balance the needs of myself (don't care as long as the villa is comfy and I can do nothing much for a week), Mandy (the same but would like some places of interest near by to visit), Ben (wifi!!!!) and Mandy's Mum (not too hot and that everyone else is happy). Unfortunately as we have had to leave it till now a lot of the places we have found that we like are already booked, but something will turn up.
Secondly the race in Tewkesbury. I am more nervous about this one than any other I have ever run. There is some pressure on me to finish (mostly by myself) knowing that a lot of friends will be there willing me on and to see me cross the line. Also of course I must finish because of the sponsorship money I have already collected. At least two friends are going to run with me which will help no end. Mandy is particularly pleased as she thinks I will run too fast on my own and overdo it, not helped by my cancer specialist's reaction to me telling him about the race, but the guys will slow me down being the sensible chaps they are.
The plan is to try to run 10 miles tomorrow morning. I think this will involve some walking but that is OK. Hope the weather is better than today.
Cheers
Tim
Friday, 10 May 2013
More detail
Friday 10th May
I have been told by she who must be obeyed that I did not put in enough detail about yesterday's meeting with the specialist. Not the facts or medical bits but more about the people watching that occurred whilst waiting. I'm afraid Mand and I have a somewhat warped sense of humour in hospitals and find it all too easy to laugh at other people's illness. I think it stems from a gallows type humour that we both use to get us through when things look bleak.
I'm afraid I started Mandy giggling yesterday when a bloke walked past with a big white bandage thing on one ear, he had obviously had some sort of op, and I whispered to Mand 'do you think he knows that's there'. From then on it was open season on everyone.
Mandy also asked me at one point if I thought the doctor would want to examine me which I thought probably not. Bearing in mind where my cancer was she asked if I had put clean pants on! Of course the doctor straight away said 'just hop on the bed and I'll take a look at you'. Marvellous, I just love it when blokes examine my wedding tackle whilst trying to have a normal conversation and knowing Mand is sat the other side of the curtain trying to stifle the giggles.
I did ask him about my lungs and feeling out of breath sometimes, but that it wasn't a problem when I was exercising. He then asked what exercise I was taking to which I replied just gentle jogging, accompanied by a 'huh' from Mand. Explaining that I was running a half marathon in 10 days time he was not over enthusiastic and warned me to take it very easy, much to Mand's delight. But what does he know!!!
Today was back to normal at work. And as I have been asked today, no I did not have a bad head from the champagne last night.
I was able to get back to another pre-illness normality at long last in going for a run on the way home from work. I couldn't up until now due to having to rush to the doctor's for my injection, but no more. So I stopped at the Edstone canal viaduct at Bearley near Sratford. It is the longest canal viaduct in Britain. There I ran 6 nice flat miles including a final mile timed at 7mins 45secs, the first under 8 minute mile I have done since starting running again. Makes Tim happy (but not Mand when she reads this).
I have had a couple of offers from people to run with me at Tewkesbury for company which I will take up. It is going to be bloody hard work but worth it.
Cheers for now. Only 10 more posts to go.
Tim
I have been told by she who must be obeyed that I did not put in enough detail about yesterday's meeting with the specialist. Not the facts or medical bits but more about the people watching that occurred whilst waiting. I'm afraid Mand and I have a somewhat warped sense of humour in hospitals and find it all too easy to laugh at other people's illness. I think it stems from a gallows type humour that we both use to get us through when things look bleak.
I'm afraid I started Mandy giggling yesterday when a bloke walked past with a big white bandage thing on one ear, he had obviously had some sort of op, and I whispered to Mand 'do you think he knows that's there'. From then on it was open season on everyone.
Mandy also asked me at one point if I thought the doctor would want to examine me which I thought probably not. Bearing in mind where my cancer was she asked if I had put clean pants on! Of course the doctor straight away said 'just hop on the bed and I'll take a look at you'. Marvellous, I just love it when blokes examine my wedding tackle whilst trying to have a normal conversation and knowing Mand is sat the other side of the curtain trying to stifle the giggles.
I did ask him about my lungs and feeling out of breath sometimes, but that it wasn't a problem when I was exercising. He then asked what exercise I was taking to which I replied just gentle jogging, accompanied by a 'huh' from Mand. Explaining that I was running a half marathon in 10 days time he was not over enthusiastic and warned me to take it very easy, much to Mand's delight. But what does he know!!!
Today was back to normal at work. And as I have been asked today, no I did not have a bad head from the champagne last night.
I was able to get back to another pre-illness normality at long last in going for a run on the way home from work. I couldn't up until now due to having to rush to the doctor's for my injection, but no more. So I stopped at the Edstone canal viaduct at Bearley near Sratford. It is the longest canal viaduct in Britain. There I ran 6 nice flat miles including a final mile timed at 7mins 45secs, the first under 8 minute mile I have done since starting running again. Makes Tim happy (but not Mand when she reads this).
I have had a couple of offers from people to run with me at Tewkesbury for company which I will take up. It is going to be bloody hard work but worth it.
Cheers for now. Only 10 more posts to go.
Tim
Thursday, 9 May 2013
Free at last
Thursday 9th May
Today has been another good news day. Mandy and I went to the hospital for an appointment with my specialist and he said 'no they had not made a mistake' so I am definitely clear. I have been moved from being 'treated' to being 'looked after' for the next ten years. Although he did then say that if nothing happens for five years then he tends to get bored and discharge patients. I should have had my schedule for this year but they had forgotten to put it in my folder, ever the efficient ones. It will be every 2 or 3 months ( he wasn't even sure which of those it would be! ) for the first year, where they will take a blood test and chest x-ray, and then a scan at the end of the year.
And to make things even better I have also had the last injection for the blood clot in my leg tonight so I am free of that as well.
So the barrier has opened and we have gone home. No more bloody trains for me if I have anything to do with it.
I should have run tonight but as it is so miserable outside sod it. We have opened a bottle of champers instead.
Cheers
Tim
Today has been another good news day. Mandy and I went to the hospital for an appointment with my specialist and he said 'no they had not made a mistake' so I am definitely clear. I have been moved from being 'treated' to being 'looked after' for the next ten years. Although he did then say that if nothing happens for five years then he tends to get bored and discharge patients. I should have had my schedule for this year but they had forgotten to put it in my folder, ever the efficient ones. It will be every 2 or 3 months ( he wasn't even sure which of those it would be! ) for the first year, where they will take a blood test and chest x-ray, and then a scan at the end of the year.
And to make things even better I have also had the last injection for the blood clot in my leg tonight so I am free of that as well.
So the barrier has opened and we have gone home. No more bloody trains for me if I have anything to do with it.
I should have run tonight but as it is so miserable outside sod it. We have opened a bottle of champers instead.
Cheers
Tim
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
Last day in the station (hopefully)
Tuesday 7th and Wednesday 8th May.
Tuesday was just a normal day at work. I did go for a run afterwards though. Six miles in total although it was very split up. I had already had a couple of my 1 minute walks when I bumped into Simon Hall doing a little speedwork in preparation for Crowle 10K on Sunday, so I stopped and had a chat and then ran with him up into town where we had another brief chat. So all in all a disturbed run but another six miles in the bag.
Today has been just a normal day too with nothing really to write about.
Tomorrow however is another day marked on the calendar as we are off to see my cancer specialist. It was supposed to be to get my results from the scan but obviously I have already had those so hopefully it should just be to get a schedule of what happens for them to look after me and make sure there is nothing going wrong.
Lets put it this way, we got off the train a couple of weeks ago but have been stuck at the barriers on the platform. Hopefully tomorrow they will open and we can go home!
Part of me however can't shake the feeling that there is one last twist to come. I can't believe it would be 'sorry but we made a mistake' or 'we got your results mixed up with somebody else's' ( huge law suit there ) but until he actually says 'congrats' I won't be happy.
Also a busy couple of days for Ben as he is off on his D of E 2 day expedition in the Forest of Dean. Rather him in a tent tomorrow night than me, weather forecast is rain and wind. Lovely!
Cheers for now.
Tim
Tuesday was just a normal day at work. I did go for a run afterwards though. Six miles in total although it was very split up. I had already had a couple of my 1 minute walks when I bumped into Simon Hall doing a little speedwork in preparation for Crowle 10K on Sunday, so I stopped and had a chat and then ran with him up into town where we had another brief chat. So all in all a disturbed run but another six miles in the bag.
Today has been just a normal day too with nothing really to write about.
Tomorrow however is another day marked on the calendar as we are off to see my cancer specialist. It was supposed to be to get my results from the scan but obviously I have already had those so hopefully it should just be to get a schedule of what happens for them to look after me and make sure there is nothing going wrong.
Lets put it this way, we got off the train a couple of weeks ago but have been stuck at the barriers on the platform. Hopefully tomorrow they will open and we can go home!
Part of me however can't shake the feeling that there is one last twist to come. I can't believe it would be 'sorry but we made a mistake' or 'we got your results mixed up with somebody else's' ( huge law suit there ) but until he actually says 'congrats' I won't be happy.
Also a busy couple of days for Ben as he is off on his D of E 2 day expedition in the Forest of Dean. Rather him in a tent tomorrow night than me, weather forecast is rain and wind. Lovely!
Cheers for now.
Tim
Monday, 6 May 2013
Sunshine and memories
Monday 6th May
The sun is shining and it is actually warm, an event worthy of anyone's blog.
We had a lovely day in Shrewsbury. Fantastic breakfast at the B&B followed by a stroll along the riverbank. Then we met my brother and his wife for lunch in a tapas bar. All very enjoyable and definitely the better for the sunshine. We even ate our tea outside when we got home.
The only mistake I made today was to go back in this blog and read some of the earlier posts. I have not done this before and I didn't read many before I had to stop. It is all still a bit too fresh. I will go back and read it all at some point but not just yet. In fact I think I will print it out and keep it to look back on. I won't enjoy some of it but it will be interesting to see how all the events during my illness happened in my own words.
One of the posts I read was of the last day that I had chemo. In truth it did not read as bad as I remember it which is probably a good thing although not a great testament to my writing skills. I never want to return to those days or ever feel like that again, I would not wish that sort of treatment on anyone.
Back to reality tomorrow, and back to training as well. Only 13 days to Tewkesbury. Perhaps I had better not eat as much for the next few days as I have for the last few!
Cheers
Tim
The sun is shining and it is actually warm, an event worthy of anyone's blog.
We had a lovely day in Shrewsbury. Fantastic breakfast at the B&B followed by a stroll along the riverbank. Then we met my brother and his wife for lunch in a tapas bar. All very enjoyable and definitely the better for the sunshine. We even ate our tea outside when we got home.
The only mistake I made today was to go back in this blog and read some of the earlier posts. I have not done this before and I didn't read many before I had to stop. It is all still a bit too fresh. I will go back and read it all at some point but not just yet. In fact I think I will print it out and keep it to look back on. I won't enjoy some of it but it will be interesting to see how all the events during my illness happened in my own words.
One of the posts I read was of the last day that I had chemo. In truth it did not read as bad as I remember it which is probably a good thing although not a great testament to my writing skills. I never want to return to those days or ever feel like that again, I would not wish that sort of treatment on anyone.
Back to reality tomorrow, and back to training as well. Only 13 days to Tewkesbury. Perhaps I had better not eat as much for the next few days as I have for the last few!
Cheers
Tim
Sunday, 5 May 2013
Relaxed
Sunday 5th May
This is the most relaxed we have been in months. We are at our favourite B&B in a tiny village just outside Shrewsbury. We had a nice lunch on the way here, then a wander around the shops in town including a cup of tea with cake in a café, back to the B&B for a nap, and are now getting ready to go out to eat.
The B&B is a farmhouse with views out across the fields of sheep and is a lovely haven of peace and tranquillity. They even have electricity!
This is a million miles away from what was happening a couple of months ago. It will not happen for a while yet but hopefully it will all seem like a bad dream before too long.
That's all today.
Cheers from a very happy and relaxed Tim and Mandy.
This is the most relaxed we have been in months. We are at our favourite B&B in a tiny village just outside Shrewsbury. We had a nice lunch on the way here, then a wander around the shops in town including a cup of tea with cake in a café, back to the B&B for a nap, and are now getting ready to go out to eat.
The B&B is a farmhouse with views out across the fields of sheep and is a lovely haven of peace and tranquillity. They even have electricity!
This is a million miles away from what was happening a couple of months ago. It will not happen for a while yet but hopefully it will all seem like a bad dream before too long.
That's all today.
Cheers from a very happy and relaxed Tim and Mandy.
Saturday, 4 May 2013
More miles
Saturday 4th May ( Star Wars day - see bottom of page )
Got up early this morning ( 6.15 ) to have porridge for breakfast before driving to Badsey to go for a run. I started in Badsey because we had a 10K committee meeting at 9 o'clock there so I needed to have finished the run by then. I ran to Willersey and back, a total of eight and a half miles. Again I ran quicker than planned but I'm used to that after years of doing it. Started to tire at 7.5 but managed to keep going for that last mile with the help of Robert who was also running to the meeting.
The meeting lasted for a couple of hours so I was pretty stiff legged by the end. Never good to sit down for a long time just after a run, you need to keep moving. However I feel OK now so it's all good.
I managed a quick trip to Tesco before lunch followed by the agony of listening to the final day of the football season for Forest. Fell at the last hurdle. In previous years I would have brooded about this for ages and been in a foul temper but given the events leading to doing this blog I appreciate that it is no big deal. Just glad that I will be here for next season at all, I don't really care which division we are in.
No training allowed for the next two days as they are for pure relaxation, and I don't mind a bit.
Cheers
Tim
PS. Star Wars day - May the 4th ( say it out loud ! )
Got up early this morning ( 6.15 ) to have porridge for breakfast before driving to Badsey to go for a run. I started in Badsey because we had a 10K committee meeting at 9 o'clock there so I needed to have finished the run by then. I ran to Willersey and back, a total of eight and a half miles. Again I ran quicker than planned but I'm used to that after years of doing it. Started to tire at 7.5 but managed to keep going for that last mile with the help of Robert who was also running to the meeting.
The meeting lasted for a couple of hours so I was pretty stiff legged by the end. Never good to sit down for a long time just after a run, you need to keep moving. However I feel OK now so it's all good.
I managed a quick trip to Tesco before lunch followed by the agony of listening to the final day of the football season for Forest. Fell at the last hurdle. In previous years I would have brooded about this for ages and been in a foul temper but given the events leading to doing this blog I appreciate that it is no big deal. Just glad that I will be here for next season at all, I don't really care which division we are in.
No training allowed for the next two days as they are for pure relaxation, and I don't mind a bit.
Cheers
Tim
PS. Star Wars day - May the 4th ( say it out loud ! )
Friday, 3 May 2013
Sore
Thursday 2nd and Friday 3rd May
Sorry about there not being a post yesterday but there was just no time and to be honest not a lot to write. Normal day at work followed by my injection. The injections are tough at the moment as I am really badly bruised on my right hand side. I don't know why all of a sudden but it is sore and hurts when they stick the needle in, still only a week left I hope.
When I got home we had tea and I tried to get as many jobs done for Mand as possible so that she could get on with work. If she can get enough done then we are going to Shrewsbury for a night on Sunday. It will be fantastic just to relax and then meet up with my brother and his wife on Monday who we do not see enough. My brother and I are very alike even though he is 10 years older than me, not in looks particularly but in our personalities.
I also had to play skittles last night in our second cup final of the week. Whereas the first one we won so easily it was actually boring this one was close all the way through. So close that it was level at the end and we had to play 'extra time' as it were. Unfortunately we lost by one pin but we mustn't be greedy as we have won nearly everything else this year.
It was late when I got home and Mand was already in bed so I went straight to bed too which was a mistake as I hadn't had time to unwind. Lying awake was not good as my mind wandered around about the last few months and I found myself getting tearful and upset. I could have done with a hug really but Mand is so tired from working too hard that I didn't want to wake her.
Today has been a normal day too but at least neither of us has to work or go out tonight so we can relax. In fact Mand has just delivered me a G & T so I'm off to enjoy it now.
Cheers
Tim
Sorry about there not being a post yesterday but there was just no time and to be honest not a lot to write. Normal day at work followed by my injection. The injections are tough at the moment as I am really badly bruised on my right hand side. I don't know why all of a sudden but it is sore and hurts when they stick the needle in, still only a week left I hope.
When I got home we had tea and I tried to get as many jobs done for Mand as possible so that she could get on with work. If she can get enough done then we are going to Shrewsbury for a night on Sunday. It will be fantastic just to relax and then meet up with my brother and his wife on Monday who we do not see enough. My brother and I are very alike even though he is 10 years older than me, not in looks particularly but in our personalities.
I also had to play skittles last night in our second cup final of the week. Whereas the first one we won so easily it was actually boring this one was close all the way through. So close that it was level at the end and we had to play 'extra time' as it were. Unfortunately we lost by one pin but we mustn't be greedy as we have won nearly everything else this year.
It was late when I got home and Mand was already in bed so I went straight to bed too which was a mistake as I hadn't had time to unwind. Lying awake was not good as my mind wandered around about the last few months and I found myself getting tearful and upset. I could have done with a hug really but Mand is so tired from working too hard that I didn't want to wake her.
Today has been a normal day too but at least neither of us has to work or go out tonight so we can relax. In fact Mand has just delivered me a G & T so I'm off to enjoy it now.
Cheers
Tim
Wednesday, 1 May 2013
Running
Wednesday 1st May
I cannot believe we are into May already, but at least the sun is shining even if it's not that hot yet.
I got up really early this morning and ran three and a half miles starting at about 6.30. It was a cold but beautifully clear morning. The run was OK but I did lack energy as I hadn't time for anything to eat, just up and straight out. I always did struggle to run well on empty but obviously it is even more difficult at the moment. My breathing was also worse than it has been on previous runs but I suppose that is not surprising as I seem to have difficulty when I am lying down, so maybe it takes time to clear in a morning. I will have to talk to the doctors again about it when I see them next week.
On the whole I am pleased with the way the training is going now. It was a shock to the system how hard it was to start even though I was expecting it to be. My mind just said keep going but there was nothing in my legs at all. At least now I can run for a while before I wilt.
I am trying to do some exercises at home to strengthen my core muscles, but time usually gets in the way. It is helping a bit though. My back ached when I first started but it is OK now.
Tewkesbury is going to be very interesting. I feel now that I might be able to run the whole way if I am very disciplined with my speed and prepare beforehand properly. Lets hope for good weather on the day, for me and for Mand and Ben watching.
Planning a short run on Friday evening and then a long one on Saturday morning. I'm going to push the distance again and see what happens.
Cheers
Tim
I cannot believe we are into May already, but at least the sun is shining even if it's not that hot yet.
I got up really early this morning and ran three and a half miles starting at about 6.30. It was a cold but beautifully clear morning. The run was OK but I did lack energy as I hadn't time for anything to eat, just up and straight out. I always did struggle to run well on empty but obviously it is even more difficult at the moment. My breathing was also worse than it has been on previous runs but I suppose that is not surprising as I seem to have difficulty when I am lying down, so maybe it takes time to clear in a morning. I will have to talk to the doctors again about it when I see them next week.
On the whole I am pleased with the way the training is going now. It was a shock to the system how hard it was to start even though I was expecting it to be. My mind just said keep going but there was nothing in my legs at all. At least now I can run for a while before I wilt.
I am trying to do some exercises at home to strengthen my core muscles, but time usually gets in the way. It is helping a bit though. My back ached when I first started but it is OK now.
Tewkesbury is going to be very interesting. I feel now that I might be able to run the whole way if I am very disciplined with my speed and prepare beforehand properly. Lets hope for good weather on the day, for me and for Mand and Ben watching.
Planning a short run on Friday evening and then a long one on Saturday morning. I'm going to push the distance again and see what happens.
Cheers
Tim
Tuesday, 30 April 2013
Boring
Tuesday 30th April
A very standard day today. Work is still busy but that makes the time go quicker. No time for any training today as Mandy was teaching at college tonight so I had to cook tea for Ben and I, never a good thing. Then I went out to play skittles in a cup final which we won easily. A very good season is nearly over and we have won a good haul of trophies.
I intend to go for a run first thing tomorrow morning if the weather is OK and I feel like it when I wake up.
That's about it for tonight as it's late. Sorry the posts are getting short but normality is quite boring, but I love it !
Cheers
Tim
A very standard day today. Work is still busy but that makes the time go quicker. No time for any training today as Mandy was teaching at college tonight so I had to cook tea for Ben and I, never a good thing. Then I went out to play skittles in a cup final which we won easily. A very good season is nearly over and we have won a good haul of trophies.
I intend to go for a run first thing tomorrow morning if the weather is OK and I feel like it when I wake up.
That's about it for tonight as it's late. Sorry the posts are getting short but normality is quite boring, but I love it !
Cheers
Tim
Monday, 29 April 2013
Running club
Monday 29th April
The days seem to be rushing past again very quickly, there is just no time to sit down and relax. Mand and I are just not getting to spend any time together. It probably seems worse because one of the very few upsides to the last 4 months is that we have spent time together. OK so some of it was horrible but when I was feeling OK it was just nice to be around at home with her, having lunch together and just being able to sit and talk to her whilst she was working. Now we just seem to pass each other and say hello. She is so busy with work it is ridiculous, and I am trying to do as much running as possible without over training and we are still winning at skittles so there are two games again this week.
So with all this in mind we have booked a night away in Shrewsbury on Sunday. Touch wood they will have electricity!! Two whole days just to relax and wander around Shrewsbury. Heaven.
Tonight I went down to running club for the first time since November. It was great to be back and see people and join in again. I have so many good friends there who have supported me throughout. Running has been such a big part of my life for so long it is great to be doing it again.
Now I'm back at home having had tea but it is nearly 10 o'clock and Mand is still working so I need to stop and get her to stop too.
Cheers
Tim
The days seem to be rushing past again very quickly, there is just no time to sit down and relax. Mand and I are just not getting to spend any time together. It probably seems worse because one of the very few upsides to the last 4 months is that we have spent time together. OK so some of it was horrible but when I was feeling OK it was just nice to be around at home with her, having lunch together and just being able to sit and talk to her whilst she was working. Now we just seem to pass each other and say hello. She is so busy with work it is ridiculous, and I am trying to do as much running as possible without over training and we are still winning at skittles so there are two games again this week.
So with all this in mind we have booked a night away in Shrewsbury on Sunday. Touch wood they will have electricity!! Two whole days just to relax and wander around Shrewsbury. Heaven.
Tonight I went down to running club for the first time since November. It was great to be back and see people and join in again. I have so many good friends there who have supported me throughout. Running has been such a big part of my life for so long it is great to be doing it again.
Now I'm back at home having had tea but it is nearly 10 o'clock and Mand is still working so I need to stop and get her to stop too.
Cheers
Tim
Sunday, 28 April 2013
Rest day
Sunday 28th April
Very quiet day today. Had a rotten night's sleep though, I was up reading the paper at 4.30 this morning although I did get back to sleep after and only surfaced at nine o'clock when Mand left for the gym. Apart from a quick trip to Tesco and down to Harvington to pick up Ben the rest of the day has been spent doing very little.
We have started to look for somewhere hot to go on holiday to but could only find places today that cost upwards of about six thousand pounds ( or maybe euros ). Dosen't really matter as it will never happen without the help of the lottery. Having to go in August all the decent places for the right price have already gone.
I'm actually going to go and run at club tomorrow night for the first time since last November which is great. Going to stop afterwards for a drink with a few friends to celebrate.
We have finally opened a bottle of fizz tonight so I'm off to enjoy that.
Cheers
Tim
Very quiet day today. Had a rotten night's sleep though, I was up reading the paper at 4.30 this morning although I did get back to sleep after and only surfaced at nine o'clock when Mand left for the gym. Apart from a quick trip to Tesco and down to Harvington to pick up Ben the rest of the day has been spent doing very little.
We have started to look for somewhere hot to go on holiday to but could only find places today that cost upwards of about six thousand pounds ( or maybe euros ). Dosen't really matter as it will never happen without the help of the lottery. Having to go in August all the decent places for the right price have already gone.
I'm actually going to go and run at club tomorrow night for the first time since last November which is great. Going to stop afterwards for a drink with a few friends to celebrate.
We have finally opened a bottle of fizz tonight so I'm off to enjoy that.
Cheers
Tim
Saturday, 27 April 2013
Mileage
Saturday 27th April
Thanks to Mand for writing yesterday's blog, very eloquent as usual.
Iron Man was good. If you liked the first two films you will like this one. If you didn't then don't go. The Regal is definitely the best thing in Evesham, in fact probably the best cinema I have been in.
Mand's comments about me not overdoing it are duly noted. With that in mind I started today with a very nice seven mile run. Oops! Huge boost to my confidence though for Tewkesbury. By far the furthest I have run since November and there was no walking at all, and done in a far quicker time than I thought possible at this point. Legs are a bit stiff tonight despite wearing my skins this afternoon.
I did at least take it easy for the rest of the day. Most of the afternoon was spent listening to the football. Good result for the Forest but need a favour from others next Saturday to get to the play-offs.
We have been out for a Chinese tonight with my parents and sister and her son Jack, so I am sat here somewhat stuffed, but nicely so.
I am finding it really difficult to take it easy at the moment. Some of it is circumstances in that work is really busy and skittles is twice a week whilst we keep winning ( 2 cup finals to play this week ). I need to keep the running going as much as possible to be fit for 3 weeks time. But also just for the fact that I can do these things now and just want to get on. However I will calm it down and look after myself, it only makes sense. I have seen enough of hospitals thank you very much.
Nothing planned for tomorrow so perhaps a totally quiet day ahead.
Cheers
Tim
Thanks to Mand for writing yesterday's blog, very eloquent as usual.
Iron Man was good. If you liked the first two films you will like this one. If you didn't then don't go. The Regal is definitely the best thing in Evesham, in fact probably the best cinema I have been in.
Mand's comments about me not overdoing it are duly noted. With that in mind I started today with a very nice seven mile run. Oops! Huge boost to my confidence though for Tewkesbury. By far the furthest I have run since November and there was no walking at all, and done in a far quicker time than I thought possible at this point. Legs are a bit stiff tonight despite wearing my skins this afternoon.
I did at least take it easy for the rest of the day. Most of the afternoon was spent listening to the football. Good result for the Forest but need a favour from others next Saturday to get to the play-offs.
We have been out for a Chinese tonight with my parents and sister and her son Jack, so I am sat here somewhat stuffed, but nicely so.
I am finding it really difficult to take it easy at the moment. Some of it is circumstances in that work is really busy and skittles is twice a week whilst we keep winning ( 2 cup finals to play this week ). I need to keep the running going as much as possible to be fit for 3 weeks time. But also just for the fact that I can do these things now and just want to get on. However I will calm it down and look after myself, it only makes sense. I have seen enough of hospitals thank you very much.
Nothing planned for tomorrow so perhaps a totally quiet day ahead.
Cheers
Tim
Friday, 26 April 2013
On the platform
Friday 26th April
Tim rushed in and rushed out again tonight so I have taken over blog duty again. He has taken Ben to The Regal to see the new Ironman film, not something I wanted to see so they are having a boys night out. He just about managed to eat some tea before he was back out of the door. At least he is just sat watching a screen tonight which is what he would have done at home just in his pj's. He has had a busy week again, tiring for someone at their most able and I do worry that he is going to over do it and totally exhaust himself. He won't be told though. Hopefully over the weekend he can get some rest in.
Tuesday was obviously a great day. He rang me and told me initially that he had contacted Zoe and that it would probably be mid afternoon at least before she got back to him, I was with a customer at the time. What seemed like only five minutes later he rang me back with the news. It was a bit like at the beginning of all this when we sat and listened to the consultant, words were being said but you couldn't take them in. This time at least it was words I wanted to hear! He actually said to me 'don't cry!', believe me I was trying really hard not to. The poor lady I was with didn't seem to notice but I have to say I whipped the tape measure round her very quickly in order that I could send her out of the door and ring Tim back to talk properly.
So we have been allowed to leave the train at last but now we just have to hang around on the platform till the 9th May for our bags. Hopefully we can then just do short hops aboard every now and again and never ever have to go on a long excursion like that again.
We booked a night away today, hopefully it will happen this time. We are going to a lovely B and B we have stayed at quite a few times before near Shrewsbury. We will relax there even if only for a short time as we know the owner now and feel very at home there. There are also lots of good places to eat around and most importantly lots of nice shops to visit in the town! Retail therapy is much needed and earned I think.
I keep torturing myself looking at holiday villas in sunny climes, need to wait though till after the consultant appointment. Was looking at Italian places last night with lovely pools that you could see the sun glinting off ......may have to be content with Cornwall and drizzle though!
Tim is going for a run in the morning but not too early I hope. Myself I have three fittings so might as well just resign myself to another day of work trying desperately to catch up.
Hair update.... it is really soft and downy and I struggle not to stroke it every time I walk past!!
Mandy
Tim rushed in and rushed out again tonight so I have taken over blog duty again. He has taken Ben to The Regal to see the new Ironman film, not something I wanted to see so they are having a boys night out. He just about managed to eat some tea before he was back out of the door. At least he is just sat watching a screen tonight which is what he would have done at home just in his pj's. He has had a busy week again, tiring for someone at their most able and I do worry that he is going to over do it and totally exhaust himself. He won't be told though. Hopefully over the weekend he can get some rest in.
Tuesday was obviously a great day. He rang me and told me initially that he had contacted Zoe and that it would probably be mid afternoon at least before she got back to him, I was with a customer at the time. What seemed like only five minutes later he rang me back with the news. It was a bit like at the beginning of all this when we sat and listened to the consultant, words were being said but you couldn't take them in. This time at least it was words I wanted to hear! He actually said to me 'don't cry!', believe me I was trying really hard not to. The poor lady I was with didn't seem to notice but I have to say I whipped the tape measure round her very quickly in order that I could send her out of the door and ring Tim back to talk properly.
So we have been allowed to leave the train at last but now we just have to hang around on the platform till the 9th May for our bags. Hopefully we can then just do short hops aboard every now and again and never ever have to go on a long excursion like that again.
We booked a night away today, hopefully it will happen this time. We are going to a lovely B and B we have stayed at quite a few times before near Shrewsbury. We will relax there even if only for a short time as we know the owner now and feel very at home there. There are also lots of good places to eat around and most importantly lots of nice shops to visit in the town! Retail therapy is much needed and earned I think.
I keep torturing myself looking at holiday villas in sunny climes, need to wait though till after the consultant appointment. Was looking at Italian places last night with lovely pools that you could see the sun glinting off ......may have to be content with Cornwall and drizzle though!
Tim is going for a run in the morning but not too early I hope. Myself I have three fittings so might as well just resign myself to another day of work trying desperately to catch up.
Hair update.... it is really soft and downy and I struggle not to stroke it every time I walk past!!
Mandy
Thursday, 25 April 2013
Normality reigns supreme
Thursday 25th April
Life has fallen back into a normal routine very quickly, even the good news of Tuesday has seemed to fade very quickly. I suppose it is because we had been told that the news should be good so we were expecting it but wouldn't allow ourselves to believe it beforehand. Then when it is good it's like you have known for ages. Before we found out people were asking if I felt alright. My answer was yes but then I felt fine when I found the lump and was diagnosed. Still the only thing that has made me feel ill is the cure. I guess it's the old adage that the worse the medicine tastes the more good it does.
I kept on saying that all I wanted was for normality to return to my life and it sure has. Thursdays have been work followed by skittles for the past 19 years now, so today is a perfectly normal Thursday. And I don't mind a bit.
Last night we went out for a meal to celebrate and when we got back I had a glass of wine for the first time since new year's eve. I don't know what all the fuss is about, it's over rated really.
I've got to take Ben to climbing now.
Cheers
Tim
Life has fallen back into a normal routine very quickly, even the good news of Tuesday has seemed to fade very quickly. I suppose it is because we had been told that the news should be good so we were expecting it but wouldn't allow ourselves to believe it beforehand. Then when it is good it's like you have known for ages. Before we found out people were asking if I felt alright. My answer was yes but then I felt fine when I found the lump and was diagnosed. Still the only thing that has made me feel ill is the cure. I guess it's the old adage that the worse the medicine tastes the more good it does.
I kept on saying that all I wanted was for normality to return to my life and it sure has. Thursdays have been work followed by skittles for the past 19 years now, so today is a perfectly normal Thursday. And I don't mind a bit.
Last night we went out for a meal to celebrate and when we got back I had a glass of wine for the first time since new year's eve. I don't know what all the fuss is about, it's over rated really.
I've got to take Ben to climbing now.
Cheers
Tim
Wednesday, 24 April 2013
Wine
Wednesday 24th April
I have just taken my first sip of wine ( any kind of alcohol actually ) since new years eve. We did not get a chance to celebrate last night so the three of us have been out to eat tonight, which was very nice and very relaxed.
Somehow I expected to feel different today but of course I didn't. You go to work, which is very busy at the moment, and just carry on as normal. A huge weight has been lifted however and we can start to plan things for the future. We are still not sure if there is any problem with me flying if we want to go abroad. At the moment I am still having the injections for the blood clot in my leg, which will carry on for a couple of weeks, so I'm sure it is not a good idea yet. But I see no reason why not to go in the school holidays.
The messages of congratulations have been overwhelming. I'm not surprised as the support we have received all along has been fantastic and helped me no end. But thank you to everyone who has been in touch, it means the world.
I did manage a quick run this morning before work. I guess I have no excuses any more, it's just up to me to get on with it now. 25 days to Tewkesbury and counting.
I'm going back to my wine now!
Cheers
Tim
I have just taken my first sip of wine ( any kind of alcohol actually ) since new years eve. We did not get a chance to celebrate last night so the three of us have been out to eat tonight, which was very nice and very relaxed.
Somehow I expected to feel different today but of course I didn't. You go to work, which is very busy at the moment, and just carry on as normal. A huge weight has been lifted however and we can start to plan things for the future. We are still not sure if there is any problem with me flying if we want to go abroad. At the moment I am still having the injections for the blood clot in my leg, which will carry on for a couple of weeks, so I'm sure it is not a good idea yet. But I see no reason why not to go in the school holidays.
The messages of congratulations have been overwhelming. I'm not surprised as the support we have received all along has been fantastic and helped me no end. But thank you to everyone who has been in touch, it means the world.
I did manage a quick run this morning before work. I guess I have no excuses any more, it's just up to me to get on with it now. 25 days to Tewkesbury and counting.
I'm going back to my wine now!
Cheers
Tim
Tuesday, 23 April 2013
End of the line
Tuesday 23rd April
I will forever more remember the date of St George's Day. Today I got the results of my scan that I had last Monday and they were as good as they could be. The tumour / lump of cancer that was inside me has been completely destroyed by the chemo. The news has made the 3 months of horrible treatment and the feelings of complete helplessness seem all worthwhile.
It has been a strange day. I'm sure if I had been with Mandy when we heard then there would have been a lot of tears. As it was I was at work and had to hold it all in, which I did in the main but couldn't help some tears as I was on my own in the warehouse office after I had given Mandy the news. Fate has decreed that I will not see her properly until late tonight as she is teaching at college and I am playing skittles. I suppose I should have stayed in but hey, it is a semi final!
The rest of the day has been a bit of a blur. It was a strange mixture of happiness and relief. I think actually the relief was the greater part. I'm actually having difficulty in putting it into words so I think I will try again tomorrow when it has sunk in a little.
For now I would like to say thank you again to all the people who are reading this and have sent me messages of encouragement and support. Please keep reading as I will continue until I have run the half marathon in Tewkesbury.
It looks like the train is pulling into the station and we can get off !!!!
Cheers
Tim
I will forever more remember the date of St George's Day. Today I got the results of my scan that I had last Monday and they were as good as they could be. The tumour / lump of cancer that was inside me has been completely destroyed by the chemo. The news has made the 3 months of horrible treatment and the feelings of complete helplessness seem all worthwhile.
It has been a strange day. I'm sure if I had been with Mandy when we heard then there would have been a lot of tears. As it was I was at work and had to hold it all in, which I did in the main but couldn't help some tears as I was on my own in the warehouse office after I had given Mandy the news. Fate has decreed that I will not see her properly until late tonight as she is teaching at college and I am playing skittles. I suppose I should have stayed in but hey, it is a semi final!
The rest of the day has been a bit of a blur. It was a strange mixture of happiness and relief. I think actually the relief was the greater part. I'm actually having difficulty in putting it into words so I think I will try again tomorrow when it has sunk in a little.
For now I would like to say thank you again to all the people who are reading this and have sent me messages of encouragement and support. Please keep reading as I will continue until I have run the half marathon in Tewkesbury.
It looks like the train is pulling into the station and we can get off !!!!
Cheers
Tim
Monday, 22 April 2013
Side effect update
Monday 22nd April
Fairly standard day today. Work was fine, it doesn't seem to be tiring me too much. Don't get me wrong, I am tired each night and just want to go to bed, and I am sleeping like a log every night. But getting up in the mornings is OK and I don't feel the need for an afternoon rest.
Several of the side effects that were caused by the chemo are improving as well. The most obvious being the return of some hair on my head. Even Mand has to admit now that there is a definite covering. It is very thin and soft but it is all over, it may however be quite grey / white!
The lack of feeling in the ends of my fingers also seems to be improving. My thumbs still feel strange but definitely better in the fingers.
I'm not sure about my breathing. It must be better during the day as I have not thought about it, and during exercise it is OK. Just at night I still feel it is not quite right. Maybe it is something to do with lying down.
I went for another run tonight around my 3.25 mile circuit. I managed to run the whole way without walking for the first time on my own by going slightly slower. I'm getting there I suppose but it is less than 4 weeks to the half marathon I am doing. It's going to be a tough race!!
Cup of tea now ready so I'm off. Fingers crossed for tomorrow.
Cheers
Tim
Fairly standard day today. Work was fine, it doesn't seem to be tiring me too much. Don't get me wrong, I am tired each night and just want to go to bed, and I am sleeping like a log every night. But getting up in the mornings is OK and I don't feel the need for an afternoon rest.
Several of the side effects that were caused by the chemo are improving as well. The most obvious being the return of some hair on my head. Even Mand has to admit now that there is a definite covering. It is very thin and soft but it is all over, it may however be quite grey / white!
The lack of feeling in the ends of my fingers also seems to be improving. My thumbs still feel strange but definitely better in the fingers.
I'm not sure about my breathing. It must be better during the day as I have not thought about it, and during exercise it is OK. Just at night I still feel it is not quite right. Maybe it is something to do with lying down.
I went for another run tonight around my 3.25 mile circuit. I managed to run the whole way without walking for the first time on my own by going slightly slower. I'm getting there I suppose but it is less than 4 weeks to the half marathon I am doing. It's going to be a tough race!!
Cup of tea now ready so I'm off. Fingers crossed for tomorrow.
Cheers
Tim
Sunday, 21 April 2013
The coming week
Sunday 21st April
A full day but not too tiring in the physical sense. Ben and I were marshalling at the Evesham Half marathon that was organised by Kurt and Nic at Cotswold Running. It was a trail run from Hampton through Charlton, Cropthorne and Elmley Castle, then back to Hampton again where we were stationed, and finishing at the Northwick Hotel in town. It was great to help out as runners are always very appreciative of marshals who give some encouragement and obviously provide water and some sustenance. I usually hate watching races as I just want to be running, but marshalling is different and very rewarding. Having said that 'where are my trail shoes' !!
A huge week coming up with the chance to get my scan results hopefully on Tuesday ( but don't hold your breath as I am not convinced I will get them as promised and will still have to wait longer ). These results will shape our lives in the immediate future so I am very nervous. Concentrating on other things and filling all my time is the way to cope.
Good news and we get on with life. First on the list is to sort out a holiday to replace the one we lost back in December. Don't care where, although we will probably stay in Europe, but it has to be warm/hot. Even with good news we are still not sure about if there are any complications with flying, especially with my deep vein blood clot in my leg.
Bad news I have not contemplated but will be very difficult to cope with. No more to say except that I have had enough.
Early night tonight to start the week rested.
Cheers
Tim
A full day but not too tiring in the physical sense. Ben and I were marshalling at the Evesham Half marathon that was organised by Kurt and Nic at Cotswold Running. It was a trail run from Hampton through Charlton, Cropthorne and Elmley Castle, then back to Hampton again where we were stationed, and finishing at the Northwick Hotel in town. It was great to help out as runners are always very appreciative of marshals who give some encouragement and obviously provide water and some sustenance. I usually hate watching races as I just want to be running, but marshalling is different and very rewarding. Having said that 'where are my trail shoes' !!
A huge week coming up with the chance to get my scan results hopefully on Tuesday ( but don't hold your breath as I am not convinced I will get them as promised and will still have to wait longer ). These results will shape our lives in the immediate future so I am very nervous. Concentrating on other things and filling all my time is the way to cope.
Good news and we get on with life. First on the list is to sort out a holiday to replace the one we lost back in December. Don't care where, although we will probably stay in Europe, but it has to be warm/hot. Even with good news we are still not sure about if there are any complications with flying, especially with my deep vein blood clot in my leg.
Bad news I have not contemplated but will be very difficult to cope with. No more to say except that I have had enough.
Early night tonight to start the week rested.
Cheers
Tim
Saturday, 20 April 2013
Working week
Friday 19th and Saturday 20th April
I've got 2 days to catch up on today. I had no time to write yesterday as I didn't get in from work and having my injection until about 20 past 6 and we had to be in Willersey by 7 o'clock for the skittles evening organised for charity by the 10K committee.
Work has been OK this week. I have found it easier to cope with than I thought I would. I'm tired but not to the point where I needed extra sleep. It has been a very busy week in the evenings as well with two nights out playing my regular skittles and then last night as well. I know Mand was worried about me overdoing it. I seem to have come through unscathed though ( although Mand does not agree ).
Today I went for a run with a friend so as to see if I could slow down a bit but go further which worked very well. I managed 5.25 miles without walking at all, which is nearly two miles more than previous when I have had to walk as well. I don't even ache much! I did as I was told this afternoon and had a short sleep which seemed a shame as the weather was so nice today, at last some warm sunshine.
I saw our next door neighbour this morning. We have never been over friendly with them despite living next to each other for nearly seventeen years now, we just say hello and have an occasional chat. Today was the first time I had actually told them about my cancer, although they obviously knew something was wrong from the fact I have been at home all the time. When I told Mand I said that I had said that 'I had got cancer' but she corrected me to 'I had cancer'. I can't bring myself to think like that yet, it's that jumping the gun thing where you jinx it by saying it.
It is going to be a nervous few days ahead to hopefully getting my scan results on Tuesday. I think I need to keep occupied so as I don't think too much about it.
We are all three of us out tonight at a friend's house so that will be nice.
Cheers
Tim
I've got 2 days to catch up on today. I had no time to write yesterday as I didn't get in from work and having my injection until about 20 past 6 and we had to be in Willersey by 7 o'clock for the skittles evening organised for charity by the 10K committee.
Work has been OK this week. I have found it easier to cope with than I thought I would. I'm tired but not to the point where I needed extra sleep. It has been a very busy week in the evenings as well with two nights out playing my regular skittles and then last night as well. I know Mand was worried about me overdoing it. I seem to have come through unscathed though ( although Mand does not agree ).
Today I went for a run with a friend so as to see if I could slow down a bit but go further which worked very well. I managed 5.25 miles without walking at all, which is nearly two miles more than previous when I have had to walk as well. I don't even ache much! I did as I was told this afternoon and had a short sleep which seemed a shame as the weather was so nice today, at last some warm sunshine.
I saw our next door neighbour this morning. We have never been over friendly with them despite living next to each other for nearly seventeen years now, we just say hello and have an occasional chat. Today was the first time I had actually told them about my cancer, although they obviously knew something was wrong from the fact I have been at home all the time. When I told Mand I said that I had said that 'I had got cancer' but she corrected me to 'I had cancer'. I can't bring myself to think like that yet, it's that jumping the gun thing where you jinx it by saying it.
It is going to be a nervous few days ahead to hopefully getting my scan results on Tuesday. I think I need to keep occupied so as I don't think too much about it.
We are all three of us out tonight at a friend's house so that will be nice.
Cheers
Tim
Thursday, 18 April 2013
Too rushed to write
Thursday 18th April
Tim has rushed in and out again tonight so hasn't got round to writing his blog. His week has been full on and I hope that he isn't totally exhausted by the weekend but I suspect he will be. At least he can grab a nap in the afternoons both days if he needs to. Going back to work seems to be OK for him. I just can't believe that it is Thursday again already and that this week is nearly over. I expected it to feel strange him not being around much again but to be honest I'm so busy it took me until today to even think about it. I suppose the fact that he has been popping into work regularly over the last couple of weeks means that things like having lunch on my own again has been normal anyway. At least I know that he will be home by 6.15 ish because of having his injection rather than before when it could be anytime. Saying that he was later tonight as the nurse who has been doing most of his jabs wasn't there for some reason and he had to see a doctor again instead. Not too long to go with them now hopefully as they should finish by the start of May.
Going to the hospital again Monday was much better than I expected. I was glad Tim was at work so he was occupied but he was actually less anxious than I was I think. Maybe all the memories of the trips over there, including the last when he threw up in the car were playing on my mind too much! It showed I think how far we have come since then and that he is in a so much better space now than he was then. That last treatment was so awful and I never want to see anyone in that state again. The scan was easy and quick though and next time he can go on his own without any worries.
We are out for the next couple of nights together, which seems a novelty. We are going to friends on Saturday night for a meal which is something we have done little of for the last few months. I intend to invite a few friends over here again which there again is not something we have done since late last year.
Hair update...it is coming back slowly. He has kept saying it was but I must admit I was dubious but you can actually see it in some lights now and it feels much softer. Looking a bit 'blond' though!!
Mandy
Tim has rushed in and out again tonight so hasn't got round to writing his blog. His week has been full on and I hope that he isn't totally exhausted by the weekend but I suspect he will be. At least he can grab a nap in the afternoons both days if he needs to. Going back to work seems to be OK for him. I just can't believe that it is Thursday again already and that this week is nearly over. I expected it to feel strange him not being around much again but to be honest I'm so busy it took me until today to even think about it. I suppose the fact that he has been popping into work regularly over the last couple of weeks means that things like having lunch on my own again has been normal anyway. At least I know that he will be home by 6.15 ish because of having his injection rather than before when it could be anytime. Saying that he was later tonight as the nurse who has been doing most of his jabs wasn't there for some reason and he had to see a doctor again instead. Not too long to go with them now hopefully as they should finish by the start of May.
Going to the hospital again Monday was much better than I expected. I was glad Tim was at work so he was occupied but he was actually less anxious than I was I think. Maybe all the memories of the trips over there, including the last when he threw up in the car were playing on my mind too much! It showed I think how far we have come since then and that he is in a so much better space now than he was then. That last treatment was so awful and I never want to see anyone in that state again. The scan was easy and quick though and next time he can go on his own without any worries.
We are out for the next couple of nights together, which seems a novelty. We are going to friends on Saturday night for a meal which is something we have done little of for the last few months. I intend to invite a few friends over here again which there again is not something we have done since late last year.
Hair update...it is coming back slowly. He has kept saying it was but I must admit I was dubious but you can actually see it in some lights now and it feels much softer. Looking a bit 'blond' though!!
Mandy
Wednesday, 17 April 2013
Normal day
Wednesday 17th April
Just a normal day today. Work as usual ( usual already ) followed by a race home for my injection. There were no nurses available today so I had to see a doctor. As it happened it was the doctor I very first saw when I found the lump. He did remember me, I think mostly from the rush we were in to get sorted before our aborted holiday in New Zealand.
After my injection I hurried home to get out for a run. My Garmin is playing up and would not locate a satellite but I figure I did about three and a half miles again. This attempt to run a half marathon in only four and a half weeks is really looking like a tough challenge.
I finally managed to talk to my Macmillan nurse. She did not know about my results appointment being cancelled and moved back a month. She has agreed to get the results and give me a ring next Tuesday so that's actually earlier than the original meeting. I was a bit nervous about asking her to do this in case it is not good news and would be better coming from the doctor, but at the end of the day the result is the result and it doesn't matter who tells me. I will still have to see the doctor later.
We are both tired tonight. Me as I always am, and Mandy because she is working so hard at the moment and then also getting up really early to do other things. Yesterday to be at the gym by 7am and this morning to finish a birthday cake she has been decorating for an 18th birthday.
So off for an early night.
Cheers
Tim
Just a normal day today. Work as usual ( usual already ) followed by a race home for my injection. There were no nurses available today so I had to see a doctor. As it happened it was the doctor I very first saw when I found the lump. He did remember me, I think mostly from the rush we were in to get sorted before our aborted holiday in New Zealand.
After my injection I hurried home to get out for a run. My Garmin is playing up and would not locate a satellite but I figure I did about three and a half miles again. This attempt to run a half marathon in only four and a half weeks is really looking like a tough challenge.
I finally managed to talk to my Macmillan nurse. She did not know about my results appointment being cancelled and moved back a month. She has agreed to get the results and give me a ring next Tuesday so that's actually earlier than the original meeting. I was a bit nervous about asking her to do this in case it is not good news and would be better coming from the doctor, but at the end of the day the result is the result and it doesn't matter who tells me. I will still have to see the doctor later.
We are both tired tonight. Me as I always am, and Mandy because she is working so hard at the moment and then also getting up really early to do other things. Yesterday to be at the gym by 7am and this morning to finish a birthday cake she has been decorating for an 18th birthday.
So off for an early night.
Cheers
Tim
Tuesday, 16 April 2013
Thoughts of elsewhere
Tuesday 16th April
Like quite a few of my running friends reading this my thoughts have been with those running and watching the Boston marathon yesterday that was attacked by some nameless idiot or idiots. Senseless and pointless. They surely cannot gain anything for their cause by murdering innocent bystanders. On a personal note I'm very glad that Virginia, who is a member of Evesham running club and was taking part yesterday, was not caught up in the bombing and is OK. She was not far from the end, so a shame that she could not complete but in the great scheme of things it does not matter. A point that I now know only too well, and we could all do to remember when we are stressed.
My day, as many will be for a while, only consisted of work followed by injection (boring). I'm not too tired yet but do have to play skittles tonight so no early to bed.
Cheers
Tim
Like quite a few of my running friends reading this my thoughts have been with those running and watching the Boston marathon yesterday that was attacked by some nameless idiot or idiots. Senseless and pointless. They surely cannot gain anything for their cause by murdering innocent bystanders. On a personal note I'm very glad that Virginia, who is a member of Evesham running club and was taking part yesterday, was not caught up in the bombing and is OK. She was not far from the end, so a shame that she could not complete but in the great scheme of things it does not matter. A point that I now know only too well, and we could all do to remember when we are stressed.
My day, as many will be for a while, only consisted of work followed by injection (boring). I'm not too tired yet but do have to play skittles tonight so no early to bed.
Cheers
Tim
Monday, 15 April 2013
CT Scan
Monday 15th April
I had my CT scan today at the hospital in Coventry. Everything went fine, in fact it was much quicker than expected. Actually the hardest thing was not being able to eat for four hours before the scan.
I was quite relaxed about today, which is a huge surprise after my histrionics for our other visits. Only having to have a cannula put in worried me at all. They use it to put in a contrast agent, which makes you feel hot and as if you need the loo, just wonderful. Still the cannula went in easy and came out even easier. The scan only takes about 5 minutes just passing back and forth through what is best described as a doughnut. I'm just glad it is done. Now we just have to wait for the result appointment which has been changed again to the slightly better date of May 9th. However that is still 3 and a half weeks away instead of 10 days and will seem like a lifetime.
The only pain was the fact that in spite of being in a hospital they would not provide a nurse to give me my injection. We had to rush back to Evesham where despite not having an appointment they did it no problem.
My first day back at work went OK, like I had never been away! Early night tonight though I think whilst I have the chance.
Cheers
Tim
I had my CT scan today at the hospital in Coventry. Everything went fine, in fact it was much quicker than expected. Actually the hardest thing was not being able to eat for four hours before the scan.
I was quite relaxed about today, which is a huge surprise after my histrionics for our other visits. Only having to have a cannula put in worried me at all. They use it to put in a contrast agent, which makes you feel hot and as if you need the loo, just wonderful. Still the cannula went in easy and came out even easier. The scan only takes about 5 minutes just passing back and forth through what is best described as a doughnut. I'm just glad it is done. Now we just have to wait for the result appointment which has been changed again to the slightly better date of May 9th. However that is still 3 and a half weeks away instead of 10 days and will seem like a lifetime.
The only pain was the fact that in spite of being in a hospital they would not provide a nurse to give me my injection. We had to rush back to Evesham where despite not having an appointment they did it no problem.
My first day back at work went OK, like I had never been away! Early night tonight though I think whilst I have the chance.
Cheers
Tim
Sunday, 14 April 2013
Tired again
Sunday 14th April
It has been a very quiet day today really so why do I feel so exhausted? OK so this morning we went to the gym but I didn't work too hard. A 10 minute gentle warm up on the bike followed by five and a half km on the treadmill. I am still doing a mixture of running and walking, just trying to make the walking less each time. Anyway I think an early night tonight to be ready for a very busy week ahead.
Maybe it is just reaction to the scan tomorrow. Not too nervous yet but I just want it over and done with, another step done. Probably a good job I am at work so that I won't think about it all day.
Nothing else to report today, even managed a half hour nap this afternoon.
It's just occurred to me that we did have a broken night's sleep on Friday that we still need to catch up on. All three damaged cars are still sat outside. It looks like a crime scene!
Fingers crossed for tomorrow.
Cheers
Tim
It has been a very quiet day today really so why do I feel so exhausted? OK so this morning we went to the gym but I didn't work too hard. A 10 minute gentle warm up on the bike followed by five and a half km on the treadmill. I am still doing a mixture of running and walking, just trying to make the walking less each time. Anyway I think an early night tonight to be ready for a very busy week ahead.
Maybe it is just reaction to the scan tomorrow. Not too nervous yet but I just want it over and done with, another step done. Probably a good job I am at work so that I won't think about it all day.
Nothing else to report today, even managed a half hour nap this afternoon.
It's just occurred to me that we did have a broken night's sleep on Friday that we still need to catch up on. All three damaged cars are still sat outside. It looks like a crime scene!
Fingers crossed for tomorrow.
Cheers
Tim
Saturday, 13 April 2013
Cars and trains
Saturday 13th April
Just at a time when I still need all the sleep I can get ready for the return to work, we get a very disturbed night. Just after 4am a couple of 20ish year olds who had been drinking drove their car into the back of the car parked opposite our house. I went out along with Simon our next door neighbour to make sure they did not scarper before the police arrived. They were both cuffed and spent the night in the cells. From what I can see they have probably written off 2 parked cars, maybe their own as well, and put a dent in Simon's which was parked in front of ours. Somehow both of ours were left untouched though, maybe at long last our luck has started to change for the better!
So at about 4.45, after a chat with the police outside, Mandy and I were sat in bed having a cup of tea. It then took us ages to get back to sleep.
After that the day has been very uneventful. Tesco, lunch, into town to get my name printed onto my Macmillan running t-shirt, deliver present to friend for 50th birthday and collect some sponsorship money for my half marathon.
So far not getting wound up about the scan on Monday. There is no reason to as it is just the scan with no results but that probably won't stop me on the day.
We had used the analogy before about being on a train and not being able to get off even if you wanted to. Well it has been sat in a station for a while but will be pulling out again, with us on board, on Monday. Already the rail company has changed the timetable of course, destination was supposed to be reached April 25th, but due to leaves on the line or some such shit it now won't arrive until May 23rd. We will see if we can find a bullet train on Monday though that we can swap to!
Cheers
Tim
Just at a time when I still need all the sleep I can get ready for the return to work, we get a very disturbed night. Just after 4am a couple of 20ish year olds who had been drinking drove their car into the back of the car parked opposite our house. I went out along with Simon our next door neighbour to make sure they did not scarper before the police arrived. They were both cuffed and spent the night in the cells. From what I can see they have probably written off 2 parked cars, maybe their own as well, and put a dent in Simon's which was parked in front of ours. Somehow both of ours were left untouched though, maybe at long last our luck has started to change for the better!
So at about 4.45, after a chat with the police outside, Mandy and I were sat in bed having a cup of tea. It then took us ages to get back to sleep.
After that the day has been very uneventful. Tesco, lunch, into town to get my name printed onto my Macmillan running t-shirt, deliver present to friend for 50th birthday and collect some sponsorship money for my half marathon.
So far not getting wound up about the scan on Monday. There is no reason to as it is just the scan with no results but that probably won't stop me on the day.
We had used the analogy before about being on a train and not being able to get off even if you wanted to. Well it has been sat in a station for a while but will be pulling out again, with us on board, on Monday. Already the rail company has changed the timetable of course, destination was supposed to be reached April 25th, but due to leaves on the line or some such shit it now won't arrive until May 23rd. We will see if we can find a bullet train on Monday though that we can swap to!
Cheers
Tim
Friday, 12 April 2013
Going the extra half mile
Friday 12th April
My last day of being signed off work. Just over 4 months after this all started I will finally be back at work full time on Monday. I am definitely ready to get back to the grindstone. Work have been fabulous with me, very patient and have supported me throughout. My first day back however will be cut short by having to go to the hospital for my scan. The nerves are going to start to jangle from then on with the wait for the results. My appointment was supposed to be 10 days after the scan, which was too long to wait in my mind anyway, but I received a letter today telling me that my appointment has been put back BY FOUR WEEKS!! If they think I am going to wait a total of nearly 6 weeks to get the result they have another thing coming. I will camp on the front lawn of my doctor until he tells me what is going on. Watch this space.
We had a day out shopping today including stopping in the Cotswolds on the way back in a tiny village called Kelmscott at a pub called The Plough. Fantastic burger followed by wonderful treacle tart. All calorie free I can assure you.
After my injection I managed to get out for a run, no abandoning it like yesterday. Three and a half miles, so that's a half mile further than I have managed before. Still managing to average 9 minutes per mile even including the walking. Great to see a friend (Steve) also out running who broke his much faster running speed to jog with me for a while. It is just so much easier running with someone to talk to and take your mind off the pain.
Cheers
Tim
My last day of being signed off work. Just over 4 months after this all started I will finally be back at work full time on Monday. I am definitely ready to get back to the grindstone. Work have been fabulous with me, very patient and have supported me throughout. My first day back however will be cut short by having to go to the hospital for my scan. The nerves are going to start to jangle from then on with the wait for the results. My appointment was supposed to be 10 days after the scan, which was too long to wait in my mind anyway, but I received a letter today telling me that my appointment has been put back BY FOUR WEEKS!! If they think I am going to wait a total of nearly 6 weeks to get the result they have another thing coming. I will camp on the front lawn of my doctor until he tells me what is going on. Watch this space.
We had a day out shopping today including stopping in the Cotswolds on the way back in a tiny village called Kelmscott at a pub called The Plough. Fantastic burger followed by wonderful treacle tart. All calorie free I can assure you.
After my injection I managed to get out for a run, no abandoning it like yesterday. Three and a half miles, so that's a half mile further than I have managed before. Still managing to average 9 minutes per mile even including the walking. Great to see a friend (Steve) also out running who broke his much faster running speed to jog with me for a while. It is just so much easier running with someone to talk to and take your mind off the pain.
Cheers
Tim
Thursday, 11 April 2013
Oblivion
Thursday 11th April
From today's title you may think that I have had my first alcoholic drink but actually it was only because Ben and I went to see the film Oblivion in Cheltenham this morning. Strange feeling coming out of the cinema and it only being lunch time. Still we went into the Chinese buffet place next to the cinema for lunch so that was good as well.
Could have done with a run as planned around 5.15 but it was raining so I didn't bother. God damn I have been turned into a fair weather runner! ( Not for long I can assure you ). Shame actually as I had persuaded Ben to come with me. It has been nice going out just Ben and I, we had to make the most of the last couple of days before I am back at work full time and Ben's back at school.
I had a nice reply on facebook when I posted about my lack of alcohol. A friend commented that I had been 'brainwashed during treatment............ damn the NHS'.
Hair update. The beard is starting to grow steadily, I have to shave about every 3 days. New chest hair is starting to appear. And even a few longer hairs have started to grow on top. By long of course I mean about 3 or 4 mm as opposed to most of it being 1 or 2 mm!! For elsewhere mind your own business.
It has stopped raining now but tea is soon so I won't bother running tonight. Lazy git.
Cheers
Tim
From today's title you may think that I have had my first alcoholic drink but actually it was only because Ben and I went to see the film Oblivion in Cheltenham this morning. Strange feeling coming out of the cinema and it only being lunch time. Still we went into the Chinese buffet place next to the cinema for lunch so that was good as well.
Could have done with a run as planned around 5.15 but it was raining so I didn't bother. God damn I have been turned into a fair weather runner! ( Not for long I can assure you ). Shame actually as I had persuaded Ben to come with me. It has been nice going out just Ben and I, we had to make the most of the last couple of days before I am back at work full time and Ben's back at school.
I had a nice reply on facebook when I posted about my lack of alcohol. A friend commented that I had been 'brainwashed during treatment............ damn the NHS'.
Hair update. The beard is starting to grow steadily, I have to shave about every 3 days. New chest hair is starting to appear. And even a few longer hairs have started to grow on top. By long of course I mean about 3 or 4 mm as opposed to most of it being 1 or 2 mm!! For elsewhere mind your own business.
It has stopped raining now but tea is soon so I won't bother running tonight. Lazy git.
Cheers
Tim
Wednesday, 10 April 2013
Time gentlemen please
Wednesday 10th April
I wasn't going to bother writing the blog tonight. Got up, went to work, came home from work, had my injection, ate tea. Not exactly the most exciting read ever.
However there is an anniversary today that I thought I would like to mention. I have now been alcohol free for 100 days. The last drink I had was new year's eve. I have not touched a drop in 2013. To be honest I have not missed it at all but I daresay I will partake of a drop before much longer. It has not been a conscious decision not to drink rather that I certainly did not want anything whilst I was having treatment and have just not been bothered since.
I fear when I do have a drink it will be a very drunk Timmy very quickly!
Cheers
Tim
I wasn't going to bother writing the blog tonight. Got up, went to work, came home from work, had my injection, ate tea. Not exactly the most exciting read ever.
However there is an anniversary today that I thought I would like to mention. I have now been alcohol free for 100 days. The last drink I had was new year's eve. I have not touched a drop in 2013. To be honest I have not missed it at all but I daresay I will partake of a drop before much longer. It has not been a conscious decision not to drink rather that I certainly did not want anything whilst I was having treatment and have just not been bothered since.
I fear when I do have a drink it will be a very drunk Timmy very quickly!
Cheers
Tim
Tuesday, 9 April 2013
Work
Tuesday 9th April
About as normal a day as I could possibly have had today. A very near full day at work, except for getting there about half an hour later than I usually would. Straight to the doctor's after to have my injection. Then home for tea and help Ben to mend a puncture on his bike. Tonight I have a skittles match as well so I hope I won't be too tired afterwards as I have a full day at work tomorrow. Skittles is supposed to be twice a week now that we are into cup games but it depends on how I feel as to whether I can cope. I may just need early nights when I am back to work full time next week.
It seemed so far away to be going back full time but now it is only a few days to go. No complaints though, I thought at times we would never get here.
Legs and lungs feel OK today after the last 2 days of running so that is all to the good.
Cheers
Tim
About as normal a day as I could possibly have had today. A very near full day at work, except for getting there about half an hour later than I usually would. Straight to the doctor's after to have my injection. Then home for tea and help Ben to mend a puncture on his bike. Tonight I have a skittles match as well so I hope I won't be too tired afterwards as I have a full day at work tomorrow. Skittles is supposed to be twice a week now that we are into cup games but it depends on how I feel as to whether I can cope. I may just need early nights when I am back to work full time next week.
It seemed so far away to be going back full time but now it is only a few days to go. No complaints though, I thought at times we would never get here.
Legs and lungs feel OK today after the last 2 days of running so that is all to the good.
Cheers
Tim
Monday, 8 April 2013
100 up
Monday 8th April
This is the 100th post in my blog. It's not quite 100 days because of a combination of either 2 posts in one day and missing a day completely.
According to the stats ( and I'm not sure at how they arrive at these figures ) the blog has had over five and a half thousand page views. Most of these have been in the UK, although I also have some expected ones New Zealand ( uncle and aunt ) and Egypt ( friends ). But I have also had some from the USA, Germany, Ukraine, Poland, Canada, Italy and Russia. China, Japan and Taiwan have even had one or two views. I have no idea how they found it or what they thought but if they are reading it now I hope they enjoy it and perhaps find it an insight into the way I think and do things.
Today was supposed to be a relaxing day before two full days at work but hasn't ended up that way. Ben and I cleared out the garden shed and had a trip to the tip with the junk that had been accumulated in there. We then took Mandy's Mum out to buy a new TV and then set it up for her. Then after my visit to the nurse for my injection I went for another run.
I am slowly starting to see some benefit from what I have done so far. I managed a total of 3 miles and didn't have to walk until I had reached 2 miles both of which are much better than before. My lungs did not burn as much as previous times either which is very pleasing. However having run 2 days in a row my muscles are aching tonight, strangely my sides and stomach ones are the worst. I need to work on some core strength I think.
Cheers until tomorrow.
Tim
This is the 100th post in my blog. It's not quite 100 days because of a combination of either 2 posts in one day and missing a day completely.
According to the stats ( and I'm not sure at how they arrive at these figures ) the blog has had over five and a half thousand page views. Most of these have been in the UK, although I also have some expected ones New Zealand ( uncle and aunt ) and Egypt ( friends ). But I have also had some from the USA, Germany, Ukraine, Poland, Canada, Italy and Russia. China, Japan and Taiwan have even had one or two views. I have no idea how they found it or what they thought but if they are reading it now I hope they enjoy it and perhaps find it an insight into the way I think and do things.
Today was supposed to be a relaxing day before two full days at work but hasn't ended up that way. Ben and I cleared out the garden shed and had a trip to the tip with the junk that had been accumulated in there. We then took Mandy's Mum out to buy a new TV and then set it up for her. Then after my visit to the nurse for my injection I went for another run.
I am slowly starting to see some benefit from what I have done so far. I managed a total of 3 miles and didn't have to walk until I had reached 2 miles both of which are much better than before. My lungs did not burn as much as previous times either which is very pleasing. However having run 2 days in a row my muscles are aching tonight, strangely my sides and stomach ones are the worst. I need to work on some core strength I think.
Cheers until tomorrow.
Tim
Sunday, 7 April 2013
Treadmill
Sunday 7th April
Thank you to Mand for doing yesterday's post, I was quite tired after the drive to Nottingham and back. It would have been more enjoyable if we had won but a draw was better than a loss.
I went to the gym with Mandy this morning. A 15 minute gentle warm up on the bike followed by 5K on the treadmill in about 32 minutes. That's the farthest I have been so far, even if it was assisted by the machine. Again the legs were not too bad but the lungs were struggling. I know I am always worse in the gym anyway, it is too warm and I prefer the cooler air outside.
It makes me realise how hard it is to start running. I am feeling at times that it is too hard and I want to pack up but at least I have the memory of what it is like when you reach a decent standard and it becomes so much easier.
Afterwards Ben and I went to Peopleton to watch the Scenic Six race and put 10K entry forms on all the cars. Watching races also makes me want to keep going. I really wanted to join in today although it would have killed me.
That's about it for today. A quiet afternoon and tea at Mandy's mum's so that was excellent.
Cheers
Tim
Thank you to Mand for doing yesterday's post, I was quite tired after the drive to Nottingham and back. It would have been more enjoyable if we had won but a draw was better than a loss.
I went to the gym with Mandy this morning. A 15 minute gentle warm up on the bike followed by 5K on the treadmill in about 32 minutes. That's the farthest I have been so far, even if it was assisted by the machine. Again the legs were not too bad but the lungs were struggling. I know I am always worse in the gym anyway, it is too warm and I prefer the cooler air outside.
It makes me realise how hard it is to start running. I am feeling at times that it is too hard and I want to pack up but at least I have the memory of what it is like when you reach a decent standard and it becomes so much easier.
Afterwards Ben and I went to Peopleton to watch the Scenic Six race and put 10K entry forms on all the cars. Watching races also makes me want to keep going. I really wanted to join in today although it would have killed me.
That's about it for today. A quiet afternoon and tea at Mandy's mum's so that was excellent.
Cheers
Tim
Saturday, 6 April 2013
Mandy's view
Saturday 6th April
I wanted to write today rather than Tim, just to give my slant on the past few weeks. As he has said everything has been quite positive for him. He does get tired but I'm glad he is being sensible most of the time and resting when he needs to. It is great to see him improving by the day and becoming more like his old self. We are both aware of the uncertainty still hanging over everything and I particularly find it frustrating not being able to plan things too far ahead. We need a holiday to look forward to and we can do nothing about that until after the 25th of this month at the earliest. We also need to find out about things like flying with his blood clot, they may say it won't be a problem by the summer but we need to know.
I know he mentioned the emotional box being opened again on Tuesday but he didn't elaborate. It was my fault getting upset about the night away. It wasn't really about that it was just triggered by the whole frustration of our unseemingly never ending run of bad luck. The tears unfortunately once unleashed wouldn't stop and I ended up spoiling the day we did have together. Tim got upset too which I didn't mean to happen but I guess the whole pressure of the scan and subsequent appointment is bound to make us both emotionally unstable at times!
The boys have just got back from the football together. It is great that they are able to start doing outings like that again although with the driving to Nottingham and back I suspect Tim will be shattered tomorrow. He has a couple of days to recover before he is back at work on Tuesday though so its not an issue. He is coming to the gym with me in the morning so I will have to keep a beady on him and make sure he is sensible in there especially once he reaches the running machine!
These six weeks are flying past and part of me is eager to get the next bit out of the way and part of me wants to stay in ignorance. Limbo is not a good place to be really though and we just have to take a deep breath and face what is to come.
Mandy
I wanted to write today rather than Tim, just to give my slant on the past few weeks. As he has said everything has been quite positive for him. He does get tired but I'm glad he is being sensible most of the time and resting when he needs to. It is great to see him improving by the day and becoming more like his old self. We are both aware of the uncertainty still hanging over everything and I particularly find it frustrating not being able to plan things too far ahead. We need a holiday to look forward to and we can do nothing about that until after the 25th of this month at the earliest. We also need to find out about things like flying with his blood clot, they may say it won't be a problem by the summer but we need to know.
I know he mentioned the emotional box being opened again on Tuesday but he didn't elaborate. It was my fault getting upset about the night away. It wasn't really about that it was just triggered by the whole frustration of our unseemingly never ending run of bad luck. The tears unfortunately once unleashed wouldn't stop and I ended up spoiling the day we did have together. Tim got upset too which I didn't mean to happen but I guess the whole pressure of the scan and subsequent appointment is bound to make us both emotionally unstable at times!
The boys have just got back from the football together. It is great that they are able to start doing outings like that again although with the driving to Nottingham and back I suspect Tim will be shattered tomorrow. He has a couple of days to recover before he is back at work on Tuesday though so its not an issue. He is coming to the gym with me in the morning so I will have to keep a beady on him and make sure he is sensible in there especially once he reaches the running machine!
These six weeks are flying past and part of me is eager to get the next bit out of the way and part of me wants to stay in ignorance. Limbo is not a good place to be really though and we just have to take a deep breath and face what is to come.
Mandy
Friday, 5 April 2013
Fingers
Friday 5th April
Unusually a day that actually stayed on plan. A morning at work followed by an afternoon sleep. Hopefully that will make me feel a bit more lively.
I don't know if I have mentioned it before but one of the possible side effects of the chemo was nerve damage on the ends of my fingers. I know Mand was particularly worried that this may happen. During the chemo nothing happened but since I have finished they have definitely been strange. It's like a tingle constantly. I wouldn't say I had loss of feeling because they actually hurt when I do such things as open a ring pull on a can or tin. It's not a huge pain but it is there.
The training for Tewkesbury is not getting going at all. It seems that everything is getting in the way, be it lack of time or tiredness. I have to prioritise work when I have some energy, running will have to wait. I still intend to take part in the race no matter what but there will have to be more walking than I would like.
Cheers
Tim
Unusually a day that actually stayed on plan. A morning at work followed by an afternoon sleep. Hopefully that will make me feel a bit more lively.
I don't know if I have mentioned it before but one of the possible side effects of the chemo was nerve damage on the ends of my fingers. I know Mand was particularly worried that this may happen. During the chemo nothing happened but since I have finished they have definitely been strange. It's like a tingle constantly. I wouldn't say I had loss of feeling because they actually hurt when I do such things as open a ring pull on a can or tin. It's not a huge pain but it is there.
The training for Tewkesbury is not getting going at all. It seems that everything is getting in the way, be it lack of time or tiredness. I have to prioritise work when I have some energy, running will have to wait. I still intend to take part in the race no matter what but there will have to be more walking than I would like.
Cheers
Tim
Thursday, 4 April 2013
Tired
Thursday 4th April
Yesterday's almost full day at work has taken it's toll a bit today. I am very tired tonight and probably need an early night. Unfortunately I did not get a chance for much of a rest today due to planned events. I had promised Ben that I would take him and a couple of mates over to Stanton for a walk on the Cotswold's as a practice for their Duke of Edinburgh as their official practice was cancelled. Quite a nice walk, around 6.5 miles but bloody cold when we got up on top of the hills. Then this afternoon we had a meeting with a friend to show Ben how to use the Evesham Running Club website properly so that we can update the 10K page ourselves.
All of which is great but means no rest for me. Mand is also now very very busy so I need to help out around home including cooking tea which is not my forte. Spagbol tonight which I can do well ( can't everyone ).
So off to work tomorrow again but I think just a morning followed by some rest in the afternoon. The tiredness when it comes is still debilitating, you just have to give in and rest.
Hopefully a good sleep tonight. Perhaps without knocking a glass of water over during the night with a flailing arm like I did last night. Very unhappy wife as she had only just got to sleep and couldn't settle again afterwards.
Cheers
Tim
Yesterday's almost full day at work has taken it's toll a bit today. I am very tired tonight and probably need an early night. Unfortunately I did not get a chance for much of a rest today due to planned events. I had promised Ben that I would take him and a couple of mates over to Stanton for a walk on the Cotswold's as a practice for their Duke of Edinburgh as their official practice was cancelled. Quite a nice walk, around 6.5 miles but bloody cold when we got up on top of the hills. Then this afternoon we had a meeting with a friend to show Ben how to use the Evesham Running Club website properly so that we can update the 10K page ourselves.
All of which is great but means no rest for me. Mand is also now very very busy so I need to help out around home including cooking tea which is not my forte. Spagbol tonight which I can do well ( can't everyone ).
So off to work tomorrow again but I think just a morning followed by some rest in the afternoon. The tiredness when it comes is still debilitating, you just have to give in and rest.
Hopefully a good sleep tonight. Perhaps without knocking a glass of water over during the night with a flailing arm like I did last night. Very unhappy wife as she had only just got to sleep and couldn't settle again afterwards.
Cheers
Tim
Wednesday, 3 April 2013
Bigger worries
Wednesday 3rd April
That's the longest day I have had at work so far and I feel OK. A bit tired but that's still to be expected. It does mean however that there is not a huge amount to write about. Having been there all day I obviously haven't done any training either so just a perfectly normal day. For me I don't mind at all.
I only now have 12 days to go before I am back at work full time. I can't believe that it is nearly four months since the last time I was. At times it goes so slowly but overall it has flown by. My scan is on the same day I go back to work, then 10 days more to the results. I don't want to wish time away but the 25th can't come soon enough, assuming the right result!!
I know it has been said before but you really do look at things differently. Take the B & B that we should have been at. At first I was annoyed but very quickly realise that I don't care, it is only a night away and no big deal. I have much bigger things to worry about.
Cheers for now.
Tim
That's the longest day I have had at work so far and I feel OK. A bit tired but that's still to be expected. It does mean however that there is not a huge amount to write about. Having been there all day I obviously haven't done any training either so just a perfectly normal day. For me I don't mind at all.
I only now have 12 days to go before I am back at work full time. I can't believe that it is nearly four months since the last time I was. At times it goes so slowly but overall it has flown by. My scan is on the same day I go back to work, then 10 days more to the results. I don't want to wish time away but the 25th can't come soon enough, assuming the right result!!
I know it has been said before but you really do look at things differently. Take the B & B that we should have been at. At first I was annoyed but very quickly realise that I don't care, it is only a night away and no big deal. I have much bigger things to worry about.
Cheers for now.
Tim
Tuesday, 2 April 2013
Down again
Tuesday 2nd April
Crap day today. It was supposed to be a nice day in Cirencester having stayed the night in a nice B & B. Of course this did not happen due to their power failure so we got up at a bit of a loss as to what to do instead. However the emotion box got opened again, fuelled by the feeling that we cannot even have a night away without life giving us a good kicking.
So in the end we did very little. Needed a big Tesco shop, great thing to do on a day off! Quick trip to Stratford but we had to get back for my injection so it was very quick.
I did manage a quick run after but as my Garmin decided to switch off, as it seems to be doing a little too often, I don't know how far it actually was. I am trying some really short ones having accepted that 3 miles is a long run at the moment.
Back to work tomorrow.
Cheers
Tim
Crap day today. It was supposed to be a nice day in Cirencester having stayed the night in a nice B & B. Of course this did not happen due to their power failure so we got up at a bit of a loss as to what to do instead. However the emotion box got opened again, fuelled by the feeling that we cannot even have a night away without life giving us a good kicking.
So in the end we did very little. Needed a big Tesco shop, great thing to do on a day off! Quick trip to Stratford but we had to get back for my injection so it was very quick.
I did manage a quick run after but as my Garmin decided to switch off, as it seems to be doing a little too often, I don't know how far it actually was. I am trying some really short ones having accepted that 3 miles is a long run at the moment.
Back to work tomorrow.
Cheers
Tim
Monday, 1 April 2013
A night away ( or maybe not )
Monday 1st April
So I said yesterday that I did not know if I would post today as we were staying at a B & B near Cirencester and we did not know if it had Wi-Fi or not. It does have Wi-Fi however it currently does not have any electricity! We arrived about 3.30 to be told an electrician was on his way to fix it so we went into Cirencester for a bit but whilst there they phoned to say that the problem could not be fixed. So I am now sat back at home posting this. Seems like our run of bad luck is still going.
Apart from that not a bad day. Lazy start followed by a bit of shopping in Cheltenham, including a nice lunch at the Swallow Café.
My taste buds seem to be recovering back to their old ways just in time for Easter. Last night we opened a dark chocolate egg that I had bought for Mandy and I thoroughly enjoyed it, the first choccy I have eaten in ages. And a nice piece of coffee cake in the café at lunch time. Not good for my waistline but who cares.
We are going out now tonight to make up for having to come home and will debate what to do tomorrow in the morning. We would have spent the day in Cirencester and now have to decide if we can be bothered to drive all the way back.
Cheers
Tim
So I said yesterday that I did not know if I would post today as we were staying at a B & B near Cirencester and we did not know if it had Wi-Fi or not. It does have Wi-Fi however it currently does not have any electricity! We arrived about 3.30 to be told an electrician was on his way to fix it so we went into Cirencester for a bit but whilst there they phoned to say that the problem could not be fixed. So I am now sat back at home posting this. Seems like our run of bad luck is still going.
Apart from that not a bad day. Lazy start followed by a bit of shopping in Cheltenham, including a nice lunch at the Swallow Café.
My taste buds seem to be recovering back to their old ways just in time for Easter. Last night we opened a dark chocolate egg that I had bought for Mandy and I thoroughly enjoyed it, the first choccy I have eaten in ages. And a nice piece of coffee cake in the café at lunch time. Not good for my waistline but who cares.
We are going out now tonight to make up for having to come home and will debate what to do tomorrow in the morning. We would have spent the day in Cirencester and now have to decide if we can be bothered to drive all the way back.
Cheers
Tim
Sunday, 31 March 2013
A new PB and hair!
Sunday 31st of March
A couple of days to make up for today having not posted yesterday. I didn't bother on Saturday because I simply didn't do anything worth writing about. Just bits and pieces all during the day then out for a meal at the Thai restaurant in Evesham in the evening. I don't think I have been there for 10 years or so. Very good food.
This morning I went for a second run outside and already have a new PB for 2.75 miles, knocking 30 seconds off the previous one at 25 and a half minutes. Felt just as hard as the first ( not surprising really ), still had to walk a bit but not as much as before. I think I will have to do a few really short runs, only a mile or so to keep the legs turning over more regularly.
Went out for lunch at Mandy's dad's today which was nice. We won't have a main meal at home for three days as we are out tomorrow as well.
There is activity on the hair front. No change on top but the beard is starting to show signs. I am having to shave every 3 days or so. It's only a light stubble but it is definitely there. However the eyebrows are going very thin. I think it is just natural loss but with nothing replacing it there is not much left.
I don't know if I will be able to post tomorrow as we are away and I haven't looked to see if we have Wi-Fi or not.
Cheers
Tim
A couple of days to make up for today having not posted yesterday. I didn't bother on Saturday because I simply didn't do anything worth writing about. Just bits and pieces all during the day then out for a meal at the Thai restaurant in Evesham in the evening. I don't think I have been there for 10 years or so. Very good food.
This morning I went for a second run outside and already have a new PB for 2.75 miles, knocking 30 seconds off the previous one at 25 and a half minutes. Felt just as hard as the first ( not surprising really ), still had to walk a bit but not as much as before. I think I will have to do a few really short runs, only a mile or so to keep the legs turning over more regularly.
Went out for lunch at Mandy's dad's today which was nice. We won't have a main meal at home for three days as we are out tomorrow as well.
There is activity on the hair front. No change on top but the beard is starting to show signs. I am having to shave every 3 days or so. It's only a light stubble but it is definitely there. However the eyebrows are going very thin. I think it is just natural loss but with nothing replacing it there is not much left.
I don't know if I will be able to post tomorrow as we are away and I haven't looked to see if we have Wi-Fi or not.
Cheers
Tim
Friday, 29 March 2013
Friday 29th March
Life as a 44 year old ended well last night. We won our final league skittles match of the season by just one pin and I had our top score, which hopefully means I have won the trophy for the best away average in the league this year. I shall have to wait a while for it to be confirmed though.
Life as a 45 year old did not start so well as I am stuffed up and feeling not so good. Thanks due to Mandy and Ben for handing that one on.
We did go out for a walk this morning, and for once I was not on my own. We walked more or less the course of the festive five in Fladbury. It was not as cold as I expected. My legs do still ache a bit from that first run though which is a bit worrying. I will have to wait to see how this cold pans out before I decide on doing another. Or perhaps I should just go for it regardless!
Apart from that it has been a quite day, even managed a sleep this afternoon. I will have to be a bit more active tomorrow. Perhaps that could become my motto!
Cheers
Tim
Life as a 44 year old ended well last night. We won our final league skittles match of the season by just one pin and I had our top score, which hopefully means I have won the trophy for the best away average in the league this year. I shall have to wait a while for it to be confirmed though.
Life as a 45 year old did not start so well as I am stuffed up and feeling not so good. Thanks due to Mandy and Ben for handing that one on.
We did go out for a walk this morning, and for once I was not on my own. We walked more or less the course of the festive five in Fladbury. It was not as cold as I expected. My legs do still ache a bit from that first run though which is a bit worrying. I will have to wait to see how this cold pans out before I decide on doing another. Or perhaps I should just go for it regardless!
Apart from that it has been a quite day, even managed a sleep this afternoon. I will have to be a bit more active tomorrow. Perhaps that could become my motto!
Cheers
Tim
Thursday, 28 March 2013
Birthday reflections
Thursday 28th March
Today was my birthday. I have to say that I have not really celebrated this one. It seems wrong to think of the past year as anything but a nightmare that I am glad is over and done with. Perhaps I should have just celebrated it's passing.
Late last night I got a bit upset whilst thinking about the events of the past few months. I have managed to put these thoughts away in a box recently but the box got opened. It was probably down to being too tired having done too much during the day but the box got slammed shut very quickly and will stay that way for a while, probably until scan time comes round. I definitely feel like I have been robbed of about 4 months of proper living, not to mention the stealing of our holiday to New Zealand. We worked so hard during the year towards the holiday but at the end of the day it was just that, only a holiday.
We have to move forward now although until the scan and results are done we are in limbo. I continue to feel better and stronger but only time will tell. The Easter break means we can be together as a family with me being well enough to join in so we must make the most and enjoy it.
Ben has gone climbing tonight and I am off to skittles so no change to the routine to allow for such trivial things as birthdays. We are going out on Saturday night to make up for it.
I did take Mandy out to lunch today but it was a bit retro. Back when we started courting Mandy worked in Evesham and I was still at school at Prince Henry's, so at lunchtime I met her in town, bought some chips and then sat in the park where we shared her sarnys and my chips. So we took sandwiches and bought chips and sat in the car and ate them, too old for cold park benches now!
Best get off to skittles now. Cheers.
Tim
Today was my birthday. I have to say that I have not really celebrated this one. It seems wrong to think of the past year as anything but a nightmare that I am glad is over and done with. Perhaps I should have just celebrated it's passing.
Late last night I got a bit upset whilst thinking about the events of the past few months. I have managed to put these thoughts away in a box recently but the box got opened. It was probably down to being too tired having done too much during the day but the box got slammed shut very quickly and will stay that way for a while, probably until scan time comes round. I definitely feel like I have been robbed of about 4 months of proper living, not to mention the stealing of our holiday to New Zealand. We worked so hard during the year towards the holiday but at the end of the day it was just that, only a holiday.
We have to move forward now although until the scan and results are done we are in limbo. I continue to feel better and stronger but only time will tell. The Easter break means we can be together as a family with me being well enough to join in so we must make the most and enjoy it.
Ben has gone climbing tonight and I am off to skittles so no change to the routine to allow for such trivial things as birthdays. We are going out on Saturday night to make up for it.
I did take Mandy out to lunch today but it was a bit retro. Back when we started courting Mandy worked in Evesham and I was still at school at Prince Henry's, so at lunchtime I met her in town, bought some chips and then sat in the park where we shared her sarnys and my chips. So we took sandwiches and bought chips and sat in the car and ate them, too old for cold park benches now!
Best get off to skittles now. Cheers.
Tim
Wednesday, 27 March 2013
Running outside at last
Wednesday 27th March
I went to work again today, it's going to get to be a habit at this rate! Getting back into the swing of being there though and enjoying it as usual. The only thing I don't like at all is the getting up early!
After a bit of a rest I managed to go out for my first road run since December the 8th last year. Managed 2.75 miles in 26 minutes. Ran the first mile then had to walk for 1 minute. I then just ran until I felt I had to walk again and carried on like that until I got home. I kept the walks down to one minute at a time, in total I walked for 5 minutes. It is a start that I can build on in the coming weeks. Can I order up some warmer weather though!
The legs don't feel great whilst running but that is hardly surprising after such a long length of inactivity. The energy levels could also remain low for quite a while as a result of the chemo. That one is a bit of an unknown, it could be a few weeks, a month or 6 months. Just depends on how my body copes with it. The main problem seems to be the lungs at the moment. Obviously they have a lot less capacity than they did before due to the lack of hard use, but it can be a side effect of the chemo as well. It can sort of crisp them up and if it has they will never get back to their previous level. It's just something I am going to have to wait and see about.
Just good to have the trainers on again. I can't say I enjoyed it as it seemed bloody hard work for such a small distance, but the thought that I could yet be up on top of the Cotswolds and Bredon Hill during the summer ( what summer? ) will keep me going.
Cheers
Tim
I went to work again today, it's going to get to be a habit at this rate! Getting back into the swing of being there though and enjoying it as usual. The only thing I don't like at all is the getting up early!
After a bit of a rest I managed to go out for my first road run since December the 8th last year. Managed 2.75 miles in 26 minutes. Ran the first mile then had to walk for 1 minute. I then just ran until I felt I had to walk again and carried on like that until I got home. I kept the walks down to one minute at a time, in total I walked for 5 minutes. It is a start that I can build on in the coming weeks. Can I order up some warmer weather though!
The legs don't feel great whilst running but that is hardly surprising after such a long length of inactivity. The energy levels could also remain low for quite a while as a result of the chemo. That one is a bit of an unknown, it could be a few weeks, a month or 6 months. Just depends on how my body copes with it. The main problem seems to be the lungs at the moment. Obviously they have a lot less capacity than they did before due to the lack of hard use, but it can be a side effect of the chemo as well. It can sort of crisp them up and if it has they will never get back to their previous level. It's just something I am going to have to wait and see about.
Just good to have the trainers on again. I can't say I enjoyed it as it seemed bloody hard work for such a small distance, but the thought that I could yet be up on top of the Cotswolds and Bredon Hill during the summer ( what summer? ) will keep me going.
Cheers
Tim
Tuesday, 26 March 2013
Just work
Tuesday 26th March
Really nothing to write about today as I spent most of it at work. Went out at 8am and didn't get back in until 4 this afternoon so by far the longest day I have done. I have to admit that by 3 this afternoon I was worn out and couldn't do much more. Early night needed tonight as I am back in again tomorrow although for not as long.
Giving proper thought to the first run outside now, just need the weather to pick up. Stories of Cleevewold 14 which I ran last year have inspired me again, even though they were horror stories of snow and ice and temperatures of -8deg. Amazing English weather again, last year it was 23deg and fantastic sunshine for this race on the same weekend. Either tomorrow afternoon or Thursday morning for a run. Only 7 and a half weeks to Tewkesbury so I need to start getting a few miles under the belt.
A friend asked me if I was sensible enough to listen to my body on the day of the race and stop if it was getting too much. Yeah right. I do not have a sensible bone in my body when it comes to running races. I will finish no matter what. This illness certainly will not stop me.
Cheers for now.
Tim
Really nothing to write about today as I spent most of it at work. Went out at 8am and didn't get back in until 4 this afternoon so by far the longest day I have done. I have to admit that by 3 this afternoon I was worn out and couldn't do much more. Early night needed tonight as I am back in again tomorrow although for not as long.
Giving proper thought to the first run outside now, just need the weather to pick up. Stories of Cleevewold 14 which I ran last year have inspired me again, even though they were horror stories of snow and ice and temperatures of -8deg. Amazing English weather again, last year it was 23deg and fantastic sunshine for this race on the same weekend. Either tomorrow afternoon or Thursday morning for a run. Only 7 and a half weeks to Tewkesbury so I need to start getting a few miles under the belt.
A friend asked me if I was sensible enough to listen to my body on the day of the race and stop if it was getting too much. Yeah right. I do not have a sensible bone in my body when it comes to running races. I will finish no matter what. This illness certainly will not stop me.
Cheers for now.
Tim
Monday, 25 March 2013
RUNNING !!!!!
Monday 25th March
With Ben posting yesterday I have a couple of days to fill in.
Sunday was a good day. I went to the gym in the morning. I started with 15 minutes gentle warm up on the bike followed by my first attempt at running on the treadmill. With Mandy sat not far behind me keeping a beady eye on what I was doing, and a warning not to overdo it, I started with 5 minutes walking, then 5 minutes running. I then did 2 mins walking, 3 mins running and repeated until I got to 30 minutes. A total of 4.15 kilometres covered so fairly happy with that. The legs felt OK but the lungs were burning a bit during the running. The really good news was that the legs felt absolutely fine this morning. At least I am off and running !!!!
In the afternoon I decided it would be a good idea to make sure I was OK after the gym to have a bit of a nap. I had about an hour but it actually made me feel crap for about an hour after I woke up. Fortunately a fabulous tea of belly pork with roasties and veg ( definitely 10 out of 10 for Mand on this one ).
Today was much quieter. Did some work on line towards the Evesham 10K and Macmillan fund raising, plus a little shopping. Walked for an hour or so this afternoon and have a running club meeting this evening. I needed it to be quiet as I have a long day at work tomorrow ( well long for me, early start and have to be there in the afternoon ).
Need to be off to the meeting now.
Cheers
Tim
With Ben posting yesterday I have a couple of days to fill in.
Sunday was a good day. I went to the gym in the morning. I started with 15 minutes gentle warm up on the bike followed by my first attempt at running on the treadmill. With Mandy sat not far behind me keeping a beady eye on what I was doing, and a warning not to overdo it, I started with 5 minutes walking, then 5 minutes running. I then did 2 mins walking, 3 mins running and repeated until I got to 30 minutes. A total of 4.15 kilometres covered so fairly happy with that. The legs felt OK but the lungs were burning a bit during the running. The really good news was that the legs felt absolutely fine this morning. At least I am off and running !!!!
In the afternoon I decided it would be a good idea to make sure I was OK after the gym to have a bit of a nap. I had about an hour but it actually made me feel crap for about an hour after I woke up. Fortunately a fabulous tea of belly pork with roasties and veg ( definitely 10 out of 10 for Mand on this one ).
Today was much quieter. Did some work on line towards the Evesham 10K and Macmillan fund raising, plus a little shopping. Walked for an hour or so this afternoon and have a running club meeting this evening. I needed it to be quiet as I have a long day at work tomorrow ( well long for me, early start and have to be there in the afternoon ).
Need to be off to the meeting now.
Cheers
Tim
Sunday, 24 March 2013
A Different Point of View
Sunday 24th March
Well a bit of a different point of view as the Grumpy teenager is writing today. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Ben and I'm 15 years old. To most of the Running Club people that little boy who you used to see with dad, who now isn't so little!
I've been told I have been very quiet throughout this entire affair. I suppose I've felt that there isn't much I can do about it. I have kept some of my feelings a bit silent just to help Mum and Dad get through. It has been testing for all of us and especially hard because of the timing, with our trip to New Zealand being cancelled and the closeness to Christmas. But I suppose our hastily arranged trip to Wales was good for all of us as none of us would have wanted to be at home.
Routine has changed and what was abnormal has become normal. After being used to Dad being at work until quite late, I never used to see him much but that has changed. It has been hard for us to do a lot together as he's been so tired and not up to our usual games. I don't think it is bothering him too much as, with me getting older, I am now more of a match and resist him pinning me on the floor and tickling me till I can't breath! This unfortunately is definitely my Achilles' Heel as he gets total control over me with just a short tickle!
I haven't seen Dad much today as I've been at a mates house and then he was asleep until his nurse arrived so he's only just surfaced and appeared. We've got Nan (Mum's Mum) over tonight for tea which is nice. We get on really well and always have done ever since I was little, and before school when Wednesday was the day to go to Nanny's House! She lives on a farm and I really enjoy it there, I'm definitely a country boy.
A bit more about me, I go to Prince Henrys High School, that for those people who used to go there and were in Mum and Dad's year Mr Miller is still there and after teaching Dad PE (sport), teaches me 30 years on! He did once accidently call me Tim! Dad did mention the school robotics trip to the Excel arena and I admit I was a bit grumpy when I got back but not too bad, we came 26th out of 40 so that was quite good.
I seem to be just blabbering on a bit but then that's what this is for just get your feelings out onto the page (or computer screen). I suppose I'm used to just writing rubbish, English essays at school are great practice!
Thanks for reading.
Ben
Well a bit of a different point of view as the Grumpy teenager is writing today. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Ben and I'm 15 years old. To most of the Running Club people that little boy who you used to see with dad, who now isn't so little!
I've been told I have been very quiet throughout this entire affair. I suppose I've felt that there isn't much I can do about it. I have kept some of my feelings a bit silent just to help Mum and Dad get through. It has been testing for all of us and especially hard because of the timing, with our trip to New Zealand being cancelled and the closeness to Christmas. But I suppose our hastily arranged trip to Wales was good for all of us as none of us would have wanted to be at home.
Routine has changed and what was abnormal has become normal. After being used to Dad being at work until quite late, I never used to see him much but that has changed. It has been hard for us to do a lot together as he's been so tired and not up to our usual games. I don't think it is bothering him too much as, with me getting older, I am now more of a match and resist him pinning me on the floor and tickling me till I can't breath! This unfortunately is definitely my Achilles' Heel as he gets total control over me with just a short tickle!
I haven't seen Dad much today as I've been at a mates house and then he was asleep until his nurse arrived so he's only just surfaced and appeared. We've got Nan (Mum's Mum) over tonight for tea which is nice. We get on really well and always have done ever since I was little, and before school when Wednesday was the day to go to Nanny's House! She lives on a farm and I really enjoy it there, I'm definitely a country boy.
A bit more about me, I go to Prince Henrys High School, that for those people who used to go there and were in Mum and Dad's year Mr Miller is still there and after teaching Dad PE (sport), teaches me 30 years on! He did once accidently call me Tim! Dad did mention the school robotics trip to the Excel arena and I admit I was a bit grumpy when I got back but not too bad, we came 26th out of 40 so that was quite good.
I seem to be just blabbering on a bit but then that's what this is for just get your feelings out onto the page (or computer screen). I suppose I'm used to just writing rubbish, English essays at school are great practice!
Thanks for reading.
Ben
Saturday, 23 March 2013
Hampton Ferry 5K
Saturday 23rd March
No I did not run the Hampton Ferry 5K. I wasn't even tempted given the miserable weather and mud under foot. Much more fun to stand at the finish line and write people's finish times down whilst you can't even feel your fingers! It's a decent little race though and raises money for Diabetes UK so it is in a good cause.
We had a meeting about our Evesham 10K race afterwards in the café accompanied by a sausage and bacon sandwich, a cup of hot chocolate and a piece of their famous ( ? ) bread pudding.
By the time we got back there was not much else to be done before the nurse arrived for my injection. This is really getting wearing now, especially as it is only to prevent any more forming and not really getting rid of the existing clots. They are supposed to clear on their own. I can't tell about the deep ones but the surface veins are still very hard, although not painful as they were at the beginning.
My sister was supposed to visit today on her way to Cornwall but is not going because of the weather. So instead of vegetarian lasagne we are having steak! Excellent swap!!
Off to eat it now actually.
Cheers
Tim
No I did not run the Hampton Ferry 5K. I wasn't even tempted given the miserable weather and mud under foot. Much more fun to stand at the finish line and write people's finish times down whilst you can't even feel your fingers! It's a decent little race though and raises money for Diabetes UK so it is in a good cause.
We had a meeting about our Evesham 10K race afterwards in the café accompanied by a sausage and bacon sandwich, a cup of hot chocolate and a piece of their famous ( ? ) bread pudding.
By the time we got back there was not much else to be done before the nurse arrived for my injection. This is really getting wearing now, especially as it is only to prevent any more forming and not really getting rid of the existing clots. They are supposed to clear on their own. I can't tell about the deep ones but the surface veins are still very hard, although not painful as they were at the beginning.
My sister was supposed to visit today on her way to Cornwall but is not going because of the weather. So instead of vegetarian lasagne we are having steak! Excellent swap!!
Off to eat it now actually.
Cheers
Tim
Friday, 22 March 2013
Positivity
Friday 22nd March
Another morning at work today, that's the first time I have managed to go in 3 times in a week since I was diagnosed. That put together with the fact that I have not needed an afternoon sleep for three days means I am showing signs of improving energy levels. I still need to be careful as there is a fairly busy weekend planned.
Last night's skittles provided another boost as our win means we have won the league with a game to spare this year.
So positivity is growing again because of the above points and the increased length of walks. Although until I get a few successful runs under my belt I will not be as happy as I could be. And with the weather forecast for the weekend I may have to wait anyway ( or go to the treadmill at the gym! ).
Ben and I are doing the timing for the Hampton Ferry 5K in aid of Diabetes UK tomorrow morning. So stood outside in the cold/rain/snow/wind! Lovely.
Will post again tomorrow if I survive.
Cheers
Tim
Another morning at work today, that's the first time I have managed to go in 3 times in a week since I was diagnosed. That put together with the fact that I have not needed an afternoon sleep for three days means I am showing signs of improving energy levels. I still need to be careful as there is a fairly busy weekend planned.
Last night's skittles provided another boost as our win means we have won the league with a game to spare this year.
So positivity is growing again because of the above points and the increased length of walks. Although until I get a few successful runs under my belt I will not be as happy as I could be. And with the weather forecast for the weekend I may have to wait anyway ( or go to the treadmill at the gym! ).
Ben and I are doing the timing for the Hampton Ferry 5K in aid of Diabetes UK tomorrow morning. So stood outside in the cold/rain/snow/wind! Lovely.
Will post again tomorrow if I survive.
Cheers
Tim
Thursday, 21 March 2013
Long training walk
Thursday 21st March
Had a good long walk today, 8 miles in just over 2 hours. For those of you who run I did the circuit round Red Lane and back by road. At that pace I figure I could walk Tewkesbury Half in under 3-1/2 hours. Personal worst by an hour and a half but wouldn't care. I have to admit that the thighs ache a bit though tonight!
Not much else to tell today really. Signed our lives away when we signed our new wills today. Will have to keep an eye on Mand now though, no walking near cliff edges and make sure she tastes food first!
Skittles tonight. We will win the league if we win. To be honest even if we don't win we should still win the league. I can't take too much credit as I missed about 7 games of the 22. Still nice to win it again.
Cheers
Tim
Had a good long walk today, 8 miles in just over 2 hours. For those of you who run I did the circuit round Red Lane and back by road. At that pace I figure I could walk Tewkesbury Half in under 3-1/2 hours. Personal worst by an hour and a half but wouldn't care. I have to admit that the thighs ache a bit though tonight!
Not much else to tell today really. Signed our lives away when we signed our new wills today. Will have to keep an eye on Mand now though, no walking near cliff edges and make sure she tastes food first!
Skittles tonight. We will win the league if we win. To be honest even if we don't win we should still win the league. I can't take too much credit as I missed about 7 games of the 22. Still nice to win it again.
Cheers
Tim
Wednesday, 20 March 2013
Working back towards sanity
Wednesday 20th March
Had another morning at work today so I feel a bit more positive. The thing about being stuck at home not feeling like you can do anything is that you start to feel useless. Going to work really helps get over this, plus I do actually enjoy what I do and like the people I work with.
After work I didn't really do anything much, but also didn't feel I had to have a sleep. Although I do now feel pretty shattered.
So some more progress is slowly being made. As Mandy was explaining to her Aunt in New Zealand this morning, we are far enough past the chemo that the awfulness of it is starting to recede a little in the memory, and we are far enough away from the scan and results that we are not getting wound up about that either.
Tomorrow is another day.
Cheers
Tim
Had another morning at work today so I feel a bit more positive. The thing about being stuck at home not feeling like you can do anything is that you start to feel useless. Going to work really helps get over this, plus I do actually enjoy what I do and like the people I work with.
After work I didn't really do anything much, but also didn't feel I had to have a sleep. Although I do now feel pretty shattered.
So some more progress is slowly being made. As Mandy was explaining to her Aunt in New Zealand this morning, we are far enough past the chemo that the awfulness of it is starting to recede a little in the memory, and we are far enough away from the scan and results that we are not getting wound up about that either.
Tomorrow is another day.
Cheers
Tim
Tuesday, 19 March 2013
A bit fed up
Tuesday 19th March
A mixed day today. I felt OK physically but had a bad day in my head.
I did the longest walk I have done since being ill, 6.7 miles out to Badsey and back. Felt fine and not too tired and no sore muscles. On the other hand I found it very depressing that I could have run it before in about 45 minutes, now it takes me just under 2 hours to walk. I know I should be glad that I can do it at all at this point but I just can't see it that way. I just want to get back running. It somehow has become the thing that I need to do more than anything else to make me feel like I am getting back towards normal ( if I was ever normal! ). Tewkesbury Half seems like a million miles at the moment, I've even half considered not doing it. This will pass I'm sure once I can start to run even a little distance.
The rest of the day passed doing nothing as usual which I am also getting fed up with. The afternoon sleep is very nice in some ways but I will be happier when it is not needed any more.
I cooked tea as Mandy teaches on a Tuesday night. Not much choice as I only cook a couple of things, so chilli it was.
Work tomorrow so I will probably feel much more positive. Lets hope so.
Cheers
Tim
A mixed day today. I felt OK physically but had a bad day in my head.
I did the longest walk I have done since being ill, 6.7 miles out to Badsey and back. Felt fine and not too tired and no sore muscles. On the other hand I found it very depressing that I could have run it before in about 45 minutes, now it takes me just under 2 hours to walk. I know I should be glad that I can do it at all at this point but I just can't see it that way. I just want to get back running. It somehow has become the thing that I need to do more than anything else to make me feel like I am getting back towards normal ( if I was ever normal! ). Tewkesbury Half seems like a million miles at the moment, I've even half considered not doing it. This will pass I'm sure once I can start to run even a little distance.
The rest of the day passed doing nothing as usual which I am also getting fed up with. The afternoon sleep is very nice in some ways but I will be happier when it is not needed any more.
I cooked tea as Mandy teaches on a Tuesday night. Not much choice as I only cook a couple of things, so chilli it was.
Work tomorrow so I will probably feel much more positive. Lets hope so.
Cheers
Tim
Monday, 18 March 2013
Preaching
Monday 18th March
Not much to say about today. Work, sleep, injection, tea, sleep. So I am going to preach instead.
Yet again this weekend I heard another story of someone who ignored a health problem until now it is a much bigger problem than it needed to be. So once again ( I have written this before ) I plead for all of you to take heed of the following advice.
In terms of my particular illness, if you find any kind of lump then do not wait. Get down to your doctor straight away and find out from an expert if it is a problem or not. What have you got to lose? If it is nothing then you have nothing to worry about. If it turns out to be something more, and I sincerely hope it happens to none of you, at least you will have found it early and have the best possible chance of a complete recovery.
Now I appreciate more than most that a lump may be in an intimate place, you don't get more intimate than where mine is ( was!! ), but just suck it up and go. Doctors have seen it all before, hell plenty of them have seen mine.
If I had waited much longer then I would have been in a lot more trouble. I try not to think about what would have happened if we had gone to New Zealand as planned.
All joking aside please take this advice, it might just save your life.
Not much to say about today. Work, sleep, injection, tea, sleep. So I am going to preach instead.
Yet again this weekend I heard another story of someone who ignored a health problem until now it is a much bigger problem than it needed to be. So once again ( I have written this before ) I plead for all of you to take heed of the following advice.
In terms of my particular illness, if you find any kind of lump then do not wait. Get down to your doctor straight away and find out from an expert if it is a problem or not. What have you got to lose? If it is nothing then you have nothing to worry about. If it turns out to be something more, and I sincerely hope it happens to none of you, at least you will have found it early and have the best possible chance of a complete recovery.
Now I appreciate more than most that a lump may be in an intimate place, you don't get more intimate than where mine is ( was!! ), but just suck it up and go. Doctors have seen it all before, hell plenty of them have seen mine.
If I had waited much longer then I would have been in a lot more trouble. I try not to think about what would have happened if we had gone to New Zealand as planned.
All joking aside please take this advice, it might just save your life.
Sunday, 17 March 2013
Energy drain
Sunday 17th March
First of all thank you to Mandy for writing the blog yesterday, excellently done as always.
Today has been a struggle. As soon as you start to get used to having a bit more energy you are always going to get a day when you get knocked back, and today is perhaps that day.
It's not been too bad but I really struggled to wake up this morning. When I finally dragged myself out of my pit I went for a walk around the river. I was thinking of running today but as Mandy put in the blog yesterday she is not keen on me starting too soon so I deferred to her for today ( but probably not for long! ).
For lunch we went to Mandy's mum, nice piece of lamb there. Then home for the daily injection and off to bed. Unfortunately today although I slept for quite a while again I struggled to wake up and now feel rubbish. A headache and lack of appetite together with being very tired is making Tim one miserable bugger. I think an early night is in order as I am at work tomorrow.
As Mandy put yesterday it is strange what has become normal. I want to start weaning myself off the afternoon sleep, but a day like today makes me wonder how long before I can. It's only 4 weeks until I have to be back at work full time. Perhaps I just need as much sleep as possible to store it up between now and then!
Cheers
Tim
First of all thank you to Mandy for writing the blog yesterday, excellently done as always.
Today has been a struggle. As soon as you start to get used to having a bit more energy you are always going to get a day when you get knocked back, and today is perhaps that day.
It's not been too bad but I really struggled to wake up this morning. When I finally dragged myself out of my pit I went for a walk around the river. I was thinking of running today but as Mandy put in the blog yesterday she is not keen on me starting too soon so I deferred to her for today ( but probably not for long! ).
For lunch we went to Mandy's mum, nice piece of lamb there. Then home for the daily injection and off to bed. Unfortunately today although I slept for quite a while again I struggled to wake up and now feel rubbish. A headache and lack of appetite together with being very tired is making Tim one miserable bugger. I think an early night is in order as I am at work tomorrow.
As Mandy put yesterday it is strange what has become normal. I want to start weaning myself off the afternoon sleep, but a day like today makes me wonder how long before I can. It's only 4 weeks until I have to be back at work full time. Perhaps I just need as much sleep as possible to store it up between now and then!
Cheers
Tim
Saturday, 16 March 2013
Normality
Saturday 16th March
Fed up with only writing this when Tim is too tired or ill to do it himself, I offered to do it today so I could write something positive. We have actually been out together....and not to the hospital!
We have come to the time of year again when I help my Mum out on the caravan site on a Saturday morning, it being mostly change over day for them. Tim had had a word with Mum unbeknown to me and I was free for the morning. We went out to Craycombe Café for breakfast which was a treat then on to Worcester for an amble round the shops. I can't remember the last time we did this, certainly not this year. We didn't stay too long as we didn't want him to over do it and anyway I had a fitting at 3 and we had to get back for the nurse calling as there is no surgery open today. It was nice though and felt normal.
Strange how things become normal, without you thinking about it. One of my friends popped over and she asked me how things were, I replied fine as they are at the moment. We are settling into that between major stresses period where we have done the really awful spell and are just cruising gently towards the next big stress of the scan. Those last few weeks of February that were just so horrid are done and we have picked ourselves up and got on with it again. Having Tim around so much of the time has become normal. He is good and doesn't disturb me when I'm working but I was used to be on my own during the day till Ben came home. Him going to the doctors or the District Nurse coming to do his injection every day has become normal, as has him needing a sleep every afternoon. All these things will gradually change, I know, like the fact that he is going into work at least a couple of times in the week now. Hopefully normal will become soon like normal used to be, but with the team that is us just being that bit stronger.
Tim is desperate to start running again now which I can understand but I'm trying to hold him back from starting too soon. He does as the saying goes needs to not "run before he can walk"! I understand his frustration as I haven't run now since September due to a damaged tendon in my foot. I don't share the passion for running that he does but I can't do any high impact exercise at all and that is driving me mad. I know that I can't stop him for much longer but I do want him to carry on upping his walking at least for another week so that when the running shoes go back on he doesn't come back too deflated because he couldn't make it to the end of the road. He is aware that Tewkesbury is coming up, I know, but he just needs to take it easy.
Ben is on his way home now from London. Communication from him has been scant but I think he has enjoyed it. He will be very tired tomorrow and if anyone wants the stroppy teenager that he will become by evening they are welcome to him!! I anticipate a few hinges of doors will be tested before the day is done.
All in all though a nice day, with Tim feeling more himself. I can see the improvement over the last 2 weeks, even though it is gradual. I just want it to be the end of April now so we know where we stand for sure and can get on with positive things like booking a holiday!
Mandy
Fed up with only writing this when Tim is too tired or ill to do it himself, I offered to do it today so I could write something positive. We have actually been out together....and not to the hospital!
We have come to the time of year again when I help my Mum out on the caravan site on a Saturday morning, it being mostly change over day for them. Tim had had a word with Mum unbeknown to me and I was free for the morning. We went out to Craycombe Café for breakfast which was a treat then on to Worcester for an amble round the shops. I can't remember the last time we did this, certainly not this year. We didn't stay too long as we didn't want him to over do it and anyway I had a fitting at 3 and we had to get back for the nurse calling as there is no surgery open today. It was nice though and felt normal.
Strange how things become normal, without you thinking about it. One of my friends popped over and she asked me how things were, I replied fine as they are at the moment. We are settling into that between major stresses period where we have done the really awful spell and are just cruising gently towards the next big stress of the scan. Those last few weeks of February that were just so horrid are done and we have picked ourselves up and got on with it again. Having Tim around so much of the time has become normal. He is good and doesn't disturb me when I'm working but I was used to be on my own during the day till Ben came home. Him going to the doctors or the District Nurse coming to do his injection every day has become normal, as has him needing a sleep every afternoon. All these things will gradually change, I know, like the fact that he is going into work at least a couple of times in the week now. Hopefully normal will become soon like normal used to be, but with the team that is us just being that bit stronger.
Tim is desperate to start running again now which I can understand but I'm trying to hold him back from starting too soon. He does as the saying goes needs to not "run before he can walk"! I understand his frustration as I haven't run now since September due to a damaged tendon in my foot. I don't share the passion for running that he does but I can't do any high impact exercise at all and that is driving me mad. I know that I can't stop him for much longer but I do want him to carry on upping his walking at least for another week so that when the running shoes go back on he doesn't come back too deflated because he couldn't make it to the end of the road. He is aware that Tewkesbury is coming up, I know, but he just needs to take it easy.
Ben is on his way home now from London. Communication from him has been scant but I think he has enjoyed it. He will be very tired tomorrow and if anyone wants the stroppy teenager that he will become by evening they are welcome to him!! I anticipate a few hinges of doors will be tested before the day is done.
All in all though a nice day, with Tim feeling more himself. I can see the improvement over the last 2 weeks, even though it is gradual. I just want it to be the end of April now so we know where we stand for sure and can get on with positive things like booking a holiday!
Mandy
Friday, 15 March 2013
Macmillan meeting
Friday 15th March
I met with the people from Macmillan fund raising today. There are two things that I/we are doing to raise money for them.
Firstly, as you should know if you have been reading this blog since the beginning, is that I am going to do the Tewkesbury Half marathon on the 19th of May. I will be asking for sponsorship so beware if you see me with a piece of paper in my hand!
Secondly the Evesham 10K is raising money for Macmillan as it's main charity this year, the other being a donation to the Bell Tower restoration fund. Most of the money raised will be just from the 10K entries but if you intend to run it and want to get sponsorship please see me for details.
Apart from that the rest of the day has been very quiet (again!). Had a good long sleep this afternoon. Both Mandy and I are very tired today due to Ben having to be up at 4.30 this morning for his school trip to London for the robotics competition. I have to admit that Mandy got up and I stayed in bed but it still made for a very disturbed night.
Going to make the most of Ben not being here tomorrow. I have persuaded Mandy to have a day off work and we can spend some time together.
At last I am starting to feel a little like my old self with a bit of energy. I hope I am not saying this too soon.
Cheers
Tim
I met with the people from Macmillan fund raising today. There are two things that I/we are doing to raise money for them.
Firstly, as you should know if you have been reading this blog since the beginning, is that I am going to do the Tewkesbury Half marathon on the 19th of May. I will be asking for sponsorship so beware if you see me with a piece of paper in my hand!
Secondly the Evesham 10K is raising money for Macmillan as it's main charity this year, the other being a donation to the Bell Tower restoration fund. Most of the money raised will be just from the 10K entries but if you intend to run it and want to get sponsorship please see me for details.
Apart from that the rest of the day has been very quiet (again!). Had a good long sleep this afternoon. Both Mandy and I are very tired today due to Ben having to be up at 4.30 this morning for his school trip to London for the robotics competition. I have to admit that Mandy got up and I stayed in bed but it still made for a very disturbed night.
Going to make the most of Ben not being here tomorrow. I have persuaded Mandy to have a day off work and we can spend some time together.
At last I am starting to feel a little like my old self with a bit of energy. I hope I am not saying this too soon.
Cheers
Tim
Thursday, 14 March 2013
Broadway Tower
Thursday 14th March
A quiet day as planned.
I did however get my trail running shoes out and go for an 'off road' walk up by Broadway Tower this morning. OK for the first part as it was downhill ( obviously ) but back up to the tower was hard work. Very warm in the sunshine though. I still think the views from up there are some of the best in the country. It reminds me of why I run and why I can't wait to get going again. Got the shoes very muddy, and the trousers too if truth be told, thanks to the farmer who drives his tractor up and down one of the fields along the path route churning it to a mudfest.
Spent most of the afternoon asleep, I need lots the day after being at work. Then off for another injection.
That's all really for today.
Cheers
Tim
A quiet day as planned.
I did however get my trail running shoes out and go for an 'off road' walk up by Broadway Tower this morning. OK for the first part as it was downhill ( obviously ) but back up to the tower was hard work. Very warm in the sunshine though. I still think the views from up there are some of the best in the country. It reminds me of why I run and why I can't wait to get going again. Got the shoes very muddy, and the trousers too if truth be told, thanks to the farmer who drives his tractor up and down one of the fields along the path route churning it to a mudfest.
Spent most of the afternoon asleep, I need lots the day after being at work. Then off for another injection.
That's all really for today.
Cheers
Tim
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