One very special person

Tuesday 21st May

So here we are at the end of the journey, and it has been a journey. In the great scheme of things it has only been 5 months and two weeks since I was diagnosed, a very small part of my life so far but it has seemed so much longer.

Mandy last night summed up the events quite nicely. There have certainly been highs and some very low lows but now it is time to move on. I will never forget, and certainly won't be allowed to as I move from check up to check up. I think it will be a shadow that is constantly there. Already the slightest thing wrong and you immediately look to whether it could be related to the cancer. This will fade somewhat with time but I guess an underlying fear will always be present.

What I really want to talk about tonight is friendship. As the saying goes, at times like these you find out who your friends are, and I have certainly not found them wanting. The support I have received right from the start has been nothing short of amazing. I could not have made a better decision than to be very public about what was happening. The constant stream of encouragement and messages that I have received has helped beyond belief. The world would have seemed an even darker place than it did without you and for that I am eternally grateful to all of you.

My family have been there all the way with me as well. It has not been easy for them as I went through periods of not really wanting to see people or being able to, but knowing they were there for me and probably more importantly for Mandy was such a comfort.

Ben has turned out to be the kind of son I could only have dreamt of having. I know this has not been easy for him watching me going through the treatment and not being myself at all. Being a teenager he perhaps has not been able to express this but he is so loving and caring, and in just getting on with his life whilst chaos ruled around him he helped no end. I am very proud of him indeed.

So this brings me to Mandy. We used to laugh together about what a rubbish nurse she was when any illness came along in the family. She could just about manage ten minutes of sympathy before it would run out and she would be impatient for you to be better. But as I should have known with Mand, when the chips were down she can step forward and do anything.

I am struggling here to say what I want to. I have written a few things but deleted them again, so I am going to keep it simple and short.

She has quite simply been the reason I have got through this in the manner I have. We have laughed and cried our way through together. She has held my hand through the worst time of my life and made it all better. I owe her so much. Thank you Mand. I love you.

I think I had better finish there. Thank you all so much for reading this.

Cheers and goodbye.

Tim