Thursday 31st January
Strange day today. Didn't start great with a brief bout of sickness. However it was that strange kind of being sick that is a relief and makes you feel better. I have had the feeling that something was getting stuck on/in my chest during the night that was making me feel sick in the mornings, well this morning it shifted but the result was OK.
The rest of the morning shot by in a blink. Breakfast, walk, bath and lunch before off to hospital. I have to say that the further through the morning we got the more anxious I became. By the time we arrived I was getting quite hyper and stressed. Whilst sat in the chair I could not relax at all. I still have a huge problem with the putting in of the cannula, it makes me feel faint. During the chemo process I could not stop my feet and legs from wriggling, and at one point started to become irrationally emotional but reigned it in as I could see it would upset Mandy. It all seemed to take an age today. At last we got free and went home, getting back about 10 past 4. I had to go straight to bed to try and relax, which worked as I went straight to sleep.
Even writing this now at 8 o'clock though, having had tea, I am still struggling to come down from the day. Straight after eating I had to go and lie down, but once again had twitchy feet and legs. I am now going to watch some tele to distract myself. I am sure tomorrow will be better though, I only have one treatment in the next thirteen days so some time to recover and relax at last.
One good point was that I saw a doctor about the vein in my leg whilst we were there. He has given me anti-biotics as he thinks it is infected. At least that should cure that one.
Of the nine sessions of chemo in total that is now five done so we are officially over half way. It still seems a very long way to me but I need something positive to cling to.
Cheers
Tim
Thursday 31 January 2013
Wednesday 30 January 2013
Trying to take charge
Wednesday 30th January
Decided to take charge of time today and be a bit more sensible although didn't start well by waking up at 5am with a huge headache. I got up and took a tablet then off to the sofa so as not to disturb Mandy. Covered up with our spare quilt ( including Ben's old Winnie the Pooh Quilt cover ) I went back to sleep until 8.30 which at least did the trick for the headache. Breakfast, the obligatory Weetabix, followed by tele, my fix of Auf Wiedersehn Pet, then a bath takes up what can only be described as a sad person's morning. Managed to walk up Greenhill, back down and round Cambria Road getting back in time for lunch.
After such a hard morning it can only be off to bed after that. Couple of hours sleep that will hopefully make me feel better tonight. Going to have tea soon. It would be nice to actually eat a proper meal.
Earlier today I had thought of a good idea for a subject to write about tonight. I am sure it was very deep and meaningful but when I sat down to write it had completely gone, not a clue, so you just got a summary of the day. Next time I will write it down so that I can come back to it.
Tomorrow we are back to hospital again for a top up. I hope this doesn't hit too hard and I can get a bit more back to myself. Thinking about getting the last of my hair removed as well tomorrow but depends on how I feel. Right now I just have a very thin downey layer of blond ( who said grey !! ), but it may look better off altogether. I will get a photo taken before and after. I'm not sure if I can put them on here but I will put them on Facebook.
Cheers for now.
Tim
Decided to take charge of time today and be a bit more sensible although didn't start well by waking up at 5am with a huge headache. I got up and took a tablet then off to the sofa so as not to disturb Mandy. Covered up with our spare quilt ( including Ben's old Winnie the Pooh Quilt cover ) I went back to sleep until 8.30 which at least did the trick for the headache. Breakfast, the obligatory Weetabix, followed by tele, my fix of Auf Wiedersehn Pet, then a bath takes up what can only be described as a sad person's morning. Managed to walk up Greenhill, back down and round Cambria Road getting back in time for lunch.
After such a hard morning it can only be off to bed after that. Couple of hours sleep that will hopefully make me feel better tonight. Going to have tea soon. It would be nice to actually eat a proper meal.
Earlier today I had thought of a good idea for a subject to write about tonight. I am sure it was very deep and meaningful but when I sat down to write it had completely gone, not a clue, so you just got a summary of the day. Next time I will write it down so that I can come back to it.
Tomorrow we are back to hospital again for a top up. I hope this doesn't hit too hard and I can get a bit more back to myself. Thinking about getting the last of my hair removed as well tomorrow but depends on how I feel. Right now I just have a very thin downey layer of blond ( who said grey !! ), but it may look better off altogether. I will get a photo taken before and after. I'm not sure if I can put them on here but I will put them on Facebook.
Cheers for now.
Tim
Tuesday 29 January 2013
Slightly Better
Tuesday 29th January
So a slightly better day today. Managed to eat a little more. Even managed to go with Mand down to Tesco in the car and then walk back on my own. This evening has been tougher again as I didn't have a sleep this afternoon as I should have and am now exhausted. I really must learn.
The vein in my leg hurts quite a bit. I now have cream to rub onto it but could do without added pain. It makes me limp when I walk which just adds to the overall impression that I look like an ill old man!
Mand is teaching at college tonight. I will be glad when she is back. I need my nurse.
Sorry it's short. I will try to do it earlier when I feel better tomorrow ( as I was told to !! ).
Cheers
Tim
So a slightly better day today. Managed to eat a little more. Even managed to go with Mand down to Tesco in the car and then walk back on my own. This evening has been tougher again as I didn't have a sleep this afternoon as I should have and am now exhausted. I really must learn.
The vein in my leg hurts quite a bit. I now have cream to rub onto it but could do without added pain. It makes me limp when I walk which just adds to the overall impression that I look like an ill old man!
Mand is teaching at college tonight. I will be glad when she is back. I need my nurse.
Sorry it's short. I will try to do it earlier when I feel better tomorrow ( as I was told to !! ).
Cheers
Tim
Monday 28 January 2013
Bad Hair Day
Monday 28th January
Tim's lying on the sofa next to me as I write this but hasn't got the energy to compose this himself. Another difficult day for him as he has been very low, feeling sick on and off and generally feeling rubbish all round. I made him go out for a walk earlier just to get some fresh air and have a change of scene. He made it three quarters of the way into town before he turned back, which was an achievement considering how he was feeling. The appetite is still way down, Weetabix are going to do well out of us as that's still all that he is really enjoying eating and which goes down without a struggle. He did manage a little soup at lunch time and a little bit of ice cream tonight before he resorted back to the breakfast cereal we all know and like. Tim said earlier what a difference a week makes, as last Monday we went out for lunch and he ate a huge plateful of fish and chips. Nevermind hopefully by next week he will feel more able to eat like that again.
The other thing he is having to cope with is that a couple of veins in his leg have become red and painful. Mindful of the dangers of blood clots which the Chemo can cause we took a trip down to the surgery to get them checked out. They seemed quite happy that they weren't anything too serious and prescribed Codeine and some ointment to massage in. He has also started wearing his compression socks, the closest he will come to running gear for a while I fear.
Hair update....there isn't any! He washed it this morning and apart from a downy coating which he will shave off, it has all gone now. He left it in the bath for me to see and I have to say considering how he has been shedding over the last couple of weeks there was still a remarkable amount in there. I left it there for Ben to see and even tried to sculpt it into a rat shape with a tail to try and freak him when he came home from school. Obviously sculpture is not my medium though as he had to ask me what it was. Tim does look better now though without the tuffty bits and I did say at least he has a nice shape head which doesn't look out of proportion or alien like in any way. Don't know if that made him feel better or not!
Hopefully Tim will be back at the keyboard again tomorrow.
Mandy
Tim's lying on the sofa next to me as I write this but hasn't got the energy to compose this himself. Another difficult day for him as he has been very low, feeling sick on and off and generally feeling rubbish all round. I made him go out for a walk earlier just to get some fresh air and have a change of scene. He made it three quarters of the way into town before he turned back, which was an achievement considering how he was feeling. The appetite is still way down, Weetabix are going to do well out of us as that's still all that he is really enjoying eating and which goes down without a struggle. He did manage a little soup at lunch time and a little bit of ice cream tonight before he resorted back to the breakfast cereal we all know and like. Tim said earlier what a difference a week makes, as last Monday we went out for lunch and he ate a huge plateful of fish and chips. Nevermind hopefully by next week he will feel more able to eat like that again.
The other thing he is having to cope with is that a couple of veins in his leg have become red and painful. Mindful of the dangers of blood clots which the Chemo can cause we took a trip down to the surgery to get them checked out. They seemed quite happy that they weren't anything too serious and prescribed Codeine and some ointment to massage in. He has also started wearing his compression socks, the closest he will come to running gear for a while I fear.
Hair update....there isn't any! He washed it this morning and apart from a downy coating which he will shave off, it has all gone now. He left it in the bath for me to see and I have to say considering how he has been shedding over the last couple of weeks there was still a remarkable amount in there. I left it there for Ben to see and even tried to sculpt it into a rat shape with a tail to try and freak him when he came home from school. Obviously sculpture is not my medium though as he had to ask me what it was. Tim does look better now though without the tuffty bits and I did say at least he has a nice shape head which doesn't look out of proportion or alien like in any way. Don't know if that made him feel better or not!
Hopefully Tim will be back at the keyboard again tomorrow.
Mandy
Sunday 27 January 2013
Useless and pathetic
Sunday 27th January
Today has been a bit emotional and difficult so be warned. I think too much time just sat doing nothing but thinking is to blame.
As per the title I am feeling useless and pathetic. I know that it is the vast amount of drugs that they have pumped into me over the last 3 days that are causing this, but it is hard to reconcile this when you have no energy or will power to do anything. This evening I have sat in the bath until it was cold because I literally could not be bothered to get out. I have just sat about today doing nothing at all. I know I have spoken about the tiredness before but it is just so debilitating.
My appetite is tiny. Yesterday I managed one piece of toast, 1 digestive biscuit, 3 grapes and 1 Weetabix ( which appears to be my new best friend, the only thing I can always manage ). Today has been slightly better but not much. Even for this I feel guilty at complaining about when the bloke in the bed opposite me on the ward had not eaten solid food since Christmas Eve. He has everything he needs dripped into him, food and liquid. I truly do not know how such people cope.
I am struggling to do this now as all I want to do is go to bed, however I will because of something Mand said earlier. She said that people must think she only has depressing things to say when she posts for me. This is kind of obvious as she only does it when I am not feeling well enough. I know this is taking a huge mental toll on Mandy but I can honestly say that I would not be coping without her endless love, care and support. Nothing is too much trouble and if it is possible I love her more each day.
I need to finish there as tears are coming, not for the first time today.
Cheers
Tim
Today has been a bit emotional and difficult so be warned. I think too much time just sat doing nothing but thinking is to blame.
As per the title I am feeling useless and pathetic. I know that it is the vast amount of drugs that they have pumped into me over the last 3 days that are causing this, but it is hard to reconcile this when you have no energy or will power to do anything. This evening I have sat in the bath until it was cold because I literally could not be bothered to get out. I have just sat about today doing nothing at all. I know I have spoken about the tiredness before but it is just so debilitating.
My appetite is tiny. Yesterday I managed one piece of toast, 1 digestive biscuit, 3 grapes and 1 Weetabix ( which appears to be my new best friend, the only thing I can always manage ). Today has been slightly better but not much. Even for this I feel guilty at complaining about when the bloke in the bed opposite me on the ward had not eaten solid food since Christmas Eve. He has everything he needs dripped into him, food and liquid. I truly do not know how such people cope.
I am struggling to do this now as all I want to do is go to bed, however I will because of something Mand said earlier. She said that people must think she only has depressing things to say when she posts for me. This is kind of obvious as she only does it when I am not feeling well enough. I know this is taking a huge mental toll on Mandy but I can honestly say that I would not be coping without her endless love, care and support. Nothing is too much trouble and if it is possible I love her more each day.
I need to finish there as tears are coming, not for the first time today.
Cheers
Tim
Saturday 26 January 2013
Home.... finally.
Saturday 26th January
Finally got Tim home at 8.30 this evening. He actually finished around 6.30 but we had to wait ages for the nurse to get round to disconnect the drip. He is totally wiped out, the drugs started to do their evil work a lot quicker than last time. At least we know what to expect this time and know in a few days time he will pick up. The whole experience was better for him, I think, than the first treatment. He may disagree with that but I don't think so. The other guys on the ward seemed quite friendly and it only being four beds rather than six helped. The only problem this time was they didn't hand out as much anti-sickness and he has been feeling quite nauseous for most of the day today. He will speak to Zoe, his Macmillan nurse about that at his review I'm sure. I did wish I'd thought to pick up one of our 'deluxe' cardboard sick hats (see earlier post for detail!). We did make it home without incident thankfully, he just kept his eyes closed for most of the trip...although to be fair he does that a lot when I'm driving anyway!
So that's two of the long treatments out of the way, thank goodness. It seemed to stretch out before us never endingly at the beginning but starting to feel more manageable now. I still find it very hard to take him in to be 'cured' and have him handed back to me looking and feeling a wreck.
Hair update, it is looking very thin and I suggested he actually shaved the remainder off now. Fed up of my entire wash having to be de-haired for one thing. Was even picking hair off Ben's school shirt the other day because one of Tim's t-shirts had been in the same load!
Would like to add my thanks to everyone for all the support, it does help hugely.
Mandy
Finally got Tim home at 8.30 this evening. He actually finished around 6.30 but we had to wait ages for the nurse to get round to disconnect the drip. He is totally wiped out, the drugs started to do their evil work a lot quicker than last time. At least we know what to expect this time and know in a few days time he will pick up. The whole experience was better for him, I think, than the first treatment. He may disagree with that but I don't think so. The other guys on the ward seemed quite friendly and it only being four beds rather than six helped. The only problem this time was they didn't hand out as much anti-sickness and he has been feeling quite nauseous for most of the day today. He will speak to Zoe, his Macmillan nurse about that at his review I'm sure. I did wish I'd thought to pick up one of our 'deluxe' cardboard sick hats (see earlier post for detail!). We did make it home without incident thankfully, he just kept his eyes closed for most of the trip...although to be fair he does that a lot when I'm driving anyway!
So that's two of the long treatments out of the way, thank goodness. It seemed to stretch out before us never endingly at the beginning but starting to feel more manageable now. I still find it very hard to take him in to be 'cured' and have him handed back to me looking and feeling a wreck.
Hair update, it is looking very thin and I suggested he actually shaved the remainder off now. Fed up of my entire wash having to be de-haired for one thing. Was even picking hair off Ben's school shirt the other day because one of Tim's t-shirts had been in the same load!
Would like to add my thanks to everyone for all the support, it does help hugely.
Mandy
Going home
Saturday 26th January
Just a brief one this afternoon. Should be ready to go home about 6pm today. I am very, very tired and have no appetite at all. I just want to sleep and get home as soon as possible. I will get Mand to post again tonight when we are back.
Cheers
Tim
Just a brief one this afternoon. Should be ready to go home about 6pm today. I am very, very tired and have no appetite at all. I just want to sleep and get home as soon as possible. I will get Mand to post again tonight when we are back.
Cheers
Tim
Friday 25 January 2013
Bad news and sad news
Friday 25th January
The bad news is not all that bad, but after a decent night's sleep I have been kicked out of my nice side room into a ward. Not too bad as it is only a 4 bed ward and one is empty at the moment, although it is bound to be filled soon. Well on the way through today's treatment now. Yesterday's is taking it's toll. Felt OK this morning. Went outside for a walk around the car park, sounds dull but at least it gets you out in the fresh air and the car park is huge. This afternoon felt very sleepy and a little nauseous which was a shame as it coincided with Mandy arriving for a visit. She was trying to cheer me up but not getting much response so 'sorry' Mand. She did bring me in some food however although the appetite has gone already this time. Still, better Mandy's sandwiches and a piece of homemade chicken and ham pie than hospital food any day.
The sad news is that having enquired of Roy when I arrived I have discovered that he passed away last week. Apparently took a rapid turn for the worse and went downhill very fast. RIP Roy - a legend on his own ward.
I have had much enjoyment from a group on facebook who's title I cannot repeat here. It started as a bunch of West Brom fans who wanted to basically send abuse to friends who did not support the Baggies. I know a few from Skittles and was invited to join. The language is horrendous and the abuse personal and colourful, but if you throw yourself into it it can be very funny. And at this time I really need funny. I also took a bit of a gamble and put a very serious post on it about what I am going through. Despite asking for no replies I had lots, even from those members who do not know me, and they were all very supportive and touching. From this bunch of neanderthals it is quite something. They have however not gone soft on me on the rest of the site!
I hope sleep tonight is OK. Norman opposite me has throat cancer and coughs terribly. He also appears to snore loudly when he drops off but I did come armed with ear plugs this time!
To those who are running Tewkesbury 1/2 here is something to think about. I will be doing it in aid of Macmillan cancer support. If any of you would like to join me I will provide sponsorship forms etc. Please do not feel that you have to do this, some do not like to or do it regularly for other charities and I know it gets difficult asking the same people for money all the time. If you do then get in touch. Probably through the EVRC forum is best ( although it is blocked by the hospital so I can't get to it until Sunday at the earliest - I will post this on there then ).
Cheers
Tim
The bad news is not all that bad, but after a decent night's sleep I have been kicked out of my nice side room into a ward. Not too bad as it is only a 4 bed ward and one is empty at the moment, although it is bound to be filled soon. Well on the way through today's treatment now. Yesterday's is taking it's toll. Felt OK this morning. Went outside for a walk around the car park, sounds dull but at least it gets you out in the fresh air and the car park is huge. This afternoon felt very sleepy and a little nauseous which was a shame as it coincided with Mandy arriving for a visit. She was trying to cheer me up but not getting much response so 'sorry' Mand. She did bring me in some food however although the appetite has gone already this time. Still, better Mandy's sandwiches and a piece of homemade chicken and ham pie than hospital food any day.
The sad news is that having enquired of Roy when I arrived I have discovered that he passed away last week. Apparently took a rapid turn for the worse and went downhill very fast. RIP Roy - a legend on his own ward.
I have had much enjoyment from a group on facebook who's title I cannot repeat here. It started as a bunch of West Brom fans who wanted to basically send abuse to friends who did not support the Baggies. I know a few from Skittles and was invited to join. The language is horrendous and the abuse personal and colourful, but if you throw yourself into it it can be very funny. And at this time I really need funny. I also took a bit of a gamble and put a very serious post on it about what I am going through. Despite asking for no replies I had lots, even from those members who do not know me, and they were all very supportive and touching. From this bunch of neanderthals it is quite something. They have however not gone soft on me on the rest of the site!
I hope sleep tonight is OK. Norman opposite me has throat cancer and coughs terribly. He also appears to snore loudly when he drops off but I did come armed with ear plugs this time!
To those who are running Tewkesbury 1/2 here is something to think about. I will be doing it in aid of Macmillan cancer support. If any of you would like to join me I will provide sponsorship forms etc. Please do not feel that you have to do this, some do not like to or do it regularly for other charities and I know it gets difficult asking the same people for money all the time. If you do then get in touch. Probably through the EVRC forum is best ( although it is blocked by the hospital so I can't get to it until Sunday at the earliest - I will post this on there then ).
Cheers
Tim
Thursday 24 January 2013
In hospital
Thursday 24th January
So I am finally back in hospital for the start of the second round of chemo. Unbelievably, with my car in the garage trying to have the oil problem fixed, Mandy's car would not start either. Quick phone call to my Dad who saved the day with a lift. When we arrived there was still no bed ready so they rigged me up in the day room to get started. It was still near enough 1pm so I will be wired until 11 tonight.
Better news though when they did take me to my bed that I actually have a side room to start with, it's a bit like being in a hotel ( just a crap one ) but I do have my own bathroom and loo ( hurray ! ). This could change at any time though. If they need to isolate an inmate, sorry I mean patient, I could get kicked out onto the ward. Chair under the door handle time I think.
Best news of all - No sign of Roy !!!
Just have to survive the food now. When they weighed me I had lost 1 kilo since I was let out last time. Surprised as I have been eating loads and doing very little exercise. Somewhat horrified when they suggested it might be muscle wastage, loss of heavy muscle mass being replaced by fat. Christ it might be a long way back to fitness. 45 days since my last run. That's the first time I have actually worked that out since I stopped. How depressing. I had already decided though not to try to do anything serious in the way of training until I am ready. All effort must be put into the getting well process first. Fitness will have to wait and follow on. It is an ideal point to perhaps try things a bit differently, train a bit smarter. Perhaps give a new training method altogether a go.
A huge thanks to everyone who has sent messages of support and encouragement to me for today. It really does help me through.
Cheers
Tim
So I am finally back in hospital for the start of the second round of chemo. Unbelievably, with my car in the garage trying to have the oil problem fixed, Mandy's car would not start either. Quick phone call to my Dad who saved the day with a lift. When we arrived there was still no bed ready so they rigged me up in the day room to get started. It was still near enough 1pm so I will be wired until 11 tonight.
Better news though when they did take me to my bed that I actually have a side room to start with, it's a bit like being in a hotel ( just a crap one ) but I do have my own bathroom and loo ( hurray ! ). This could change at any time though. If they need to isolate an inmate, sorry I mean patient, I could get kicked out onto the ward. Chair under the door handle time I think.
Best news of all - No sign of Roy !!!
Just have to survive the food now. When they weighed me I had lost 1 kilo since I was let out last time. Surprised as I have been eating loads and doing very little exercise. Somewhat horrified when they suggested it might be muscle wastage, loss of heavy muscle mass being replaced by fat. Christ it might be a long way back to fitness. 45 days since my last run. That's the first time I have actually worked that out since I stopped. How depressing. I had already decided though not to try to do anything serious in the way of training until I am ready. All effort must be put into the getting well process first. Fitness will have to wait and follow on. It is an ideal point to perhaps try things a bit differently, train a bit smarter. Perhaps give a new training method altogether a go.
A huge thanks to everyone who has sent messages of support and encouragement to me for today. It really does help me through.
Cheers
Tim
Waiting again
Thursday 24th January
Once again I am sat here waiting for a bed to come free. Made the call at 9 o'clock, now 9.45 and just waiting. Hope it is soon or treatment will go on till late tonight.
Will post again later.
Cheers
Tim
Once again I am sat here waiting for a bed to come free. Made the call at 9 o'clock, now 9.45 and just waiting. Hope it is soon or treatment will go on till late tonight.
Will post again later.
Cheers
Tim
Wednesday 23 January 2013
T minus 1
Wednesday 23rd January
A very gentle day today, just trying to let the day pass without thinking about tomorrow too much.
Started with a trip down memory lane by going down to Prince Henry's to try and have a word with the headmaster Dr Evans about this year's 10K. As I know he ran the Birmingham 1/2 marathon last year I wanted to talk him into getting a bunch of teachers together to run as a team to raise some charity money. As Ben is in year 10 now and old enough to run this year he is not only going to try to get a team of pupils together, but has volunteered to be the Entry Secretary for the race as his part of his Duke of Edinburgh award. He's going to be a busy boy. I didn't actually get to see Dr Evans as he was too busy, but he has already agreed to run and handed over organising a team to another member of staff, so we have lift off. If I can stoke up a bit of competition between staff and pupils it could get interesting.
The memory lane part came in because I went to Prince Henry's between 1982 and 1987. In fact it is where Mandy and I met, couldn't stand each other to start with but my charm won her round. When I gave my name to the lady at reception she said 'I went to school with a Tim Heslop' so we spent 20 minutes chatting. Turns out I also know her husband, she knows my dad and Ben knows her son. Small world.
Then the usual trip to my second home at Tesco, followed by housework for a visit from Mandy's Dad and now doing this. Just Corrie left to watch then an early night as tired now.
Tomorrow we should be off to prison, er sorry, I mean hospital. I have to ring at 9 to see if they have a bed for me. I hope they have one early as the treatment lasts for 10 hours whenever you start from, so if I start at 2pm I finish at midnight, so the earlier the better.
If I can't get any wifi then this will be the last time I do the post until Sunday but I'm sure Mand will do the honours.
Cheers
Tim
A very gentle day today, just trying to let the day pass without thinking about tomorrow too much.
Started with a trip down memory lane by going down to Prince Henry's to try and have a word with the headmaster Dr Evans about this year's 10K. As I know he ran the Birmingham 1/2 marathon last year I wanted to talk him into getting a bunch of teachers together to run as a team to raise some charity money. As Ben is in year 10 now and old enough to run this year he is not only going to try to get a team of pupils together, but has volunteered to be the Entry Secretary for the race as his part of his Duke of Edinburgh award. He's going to be a busy boy. I didn't actually get to see Dr Evans as he was too busy, but he has already agreed to run and handed over organising a team to another member of staff, so we have lift off. If I can stoke up a bit of competition between staff and pupils it could get interesting.
The memory lane part came in because I went to Prince Henry's between 1982 and 1987. In fact it is where Mandy and I met, couldn't stand each other to start with but my charm won her round. When I gave my name to the lady at reception she said 'I went to school with a Tim Heslop' so we spent 20 minutes chatting. Turns out I also know her husband, she knows my dad and Ben knows her son. Small world.
Then the usual trip to my second home at Tesco, followed by housework for a visit from Mandy's Dad and now doing this. Just Corrie left to watch then an early night as tired now.
Tomorrow we should be off to prison, er sorry, I mean hospital. I have to ring at 9 to see if they have a bed for me. I hope they have one early as the treatment lasts for 10 hours whenever you start from, so if I start at 2pm I finish at midnight, so the earlier the better.
If I can't get any wifi then this will be the last time I do the post until Sunday but I'm sure Mand will do the honours.
Cheers
Tim
Tuesday 22 January 2013
Work medicine
Tuesday 22nd January
What a difference a day makes. I had a meeting today with my Macmillan nurse ( also known as my testicle nurse, a real show stopper of a job title ) so as I was driving right past work I arranged to go in for a couple of hours beforehand. I know I have said this before but it just does me so much good to go in, even for a short time, and just concentrate on something other than the obvious. Being at home you just can't think about anything else, doesn't matter what you are doing. My dreams include my illness and it's the first thing you think of when you wake up, so 2 hours of other things is heaven.
The meeting with my nurse, Zoe, was to discuss my reaction to the first stage of the treatment before the second stage starts on Thursday. On the whole they are happy with everything so took a blood sample to check I am OK to carry on. My white blood cell count needs to be good but they don't think there will be a problem.
Mandy teaching at college tonight so quiet night in. Only one more free day before hospital stay. Will have to make the most of it.
Nice to write something positive.
Cheers
Tim
What a difference a day makes. I had a meeting today with my Macmillan nurse ( also known as my testicle nurse, a real show stopper of a job title ) so as I was driving right past work I arranged to go in for a couple of hours beforehand. I know I have said this before but it just does me so much good to go in, even for a short time, and just concentrate on something other than the obvious. Being at home you just can't think about anything else, doesn't matter what you are doing. My dreams include my illness and it's the first thing you think of when you wake up, so 2 hours of other things is heaven.
The meeting with my nurse, Zoe, was to discuss my reaction to the first stage of the treatment before the second stage starts on Thursday. On the whole they are happy with everything so took a blood sample to check I am OK to carry on. My white blood cell count needs to be good but they don't think there will be a problem.
Mandy teaching at college tonight so quiet night in. Only one more free day before hospital stay. Will have to make the most of it.
Nice to write something positive.
Cheers
Tim
Monday 21 January 2013
Headaches
Monday 21st January
It seems that I have got into a routine I do not want. Mornings are OK, we actually went out to lunch today to the Fish at Wixford ( really recommend the Fish, open fires, great food ), but then as the afternoon wears on yet another headache starts. Not as bad as yesterday but still just makes me want to curl up and close my eyes. I have a meeting with my Macmillan nurse tomorrow so will talk to her but I don't think they can do much. Just have to battle on.
Thanks again to Mandy for writing blog yesterday, nice description of hair loss.
Cheers
Tim
It seems that I have got into a routine I do not want. Mornings are OK, we actually went out to lunch today to the Fish at Wixford ( really recommend the Fish, open fires, great food ), but then as the afternoon wears on yet another headache starts. Not as bad as yesterday but still just makes me want to curl up and close my eyes. I have a meeting with my Macmillan nurse tomorrow so will talk to her but I don't think they can do much. Just have to battle on.
Thanks again to Mandy for writing blog yesterday, nice description of hair loss.
Cheers
Tim
Sunday 20 January 2013
A Mixed Day
Sunday 20th January
Tim has a migraine again tonight so can't face writing this himself. The day started OK with him having had a good nights sleep then taking a trip to Tesco. He even rang his Mum and got some shopping for her then delivered it. We had lunch and went for a walk but after that he went slowly down hill. He eventually took a migraine tablet late afternoon and has done very little since. I think the stress of the week to come is building up, and unfortunately there is nothing anyone can do to alleviate that. I wish I could. I know in his blog he has shared how down he has felt and I do feel that we are stood at the top of the slope again about to dive down. I'm sure this stay in hospital won't be nearly as bad as he imagines and there are certain things we can do to make it more bearable now we know what to expect. The practical things are easy though, its the mental bit that's more difficult...for both of us. Still, tomorrow is another day and I'm sure he will get up in the morning feeling better. He promised to take me out to lunch tomorrow so he better be up for that!!
Hair update...the pillow looks like the cat has slept on it and the bath looks like we have rinsed the dog off.
Hopefully normal service will resume tomorrow.
Mandy
Tim has a migraine again tonight so can't face writing this himself. The day started OK with him having had a good nights sleep then taking a trip to Tesco. He even rang his Mum and got some shopping for her then delivered it. We had lunch and went for a walk but after that he went slowly down hill. He eventually took a migraine tablet late afternoon and has done very little since. I think the stress of the week to come is building up, and unfortunately there is nothing anyone can do to alleviate that. I wish I could. I know in his blog he has shared how down he has felt and I do feel that we are stood at the top of the slope again about to dive down. I'm sure this stay in hospital won't be nearly as bad as he imagines and there are certain things we can do to make it more bearable now we know what to expect. The practical things are easy though, its the mental bit that's more difficult...for both of us. Still, tomorrow is another day and I'm sure he will get up in the morning feeling better. He promised to take me out to lunch tomorrow so he better be up for that!!
Hair update...the pillow looks like the cat has slept on it and the bath looks like we have rinsed the dog off.
Hopefully normal service will resume tomorrow.
Mandy
Saturday 19 January 2013
Struggle
Saturday 19th January
I have to say that it all seems a struggle at the moment. Lots of little things adding together to bring me down. I can't quite kick the last bit of the cold I have had, plus the fact that the cold sores in my nose are healing but still sore all the same. Mouth ulcers are almost better as well but just there, irritating. I have a constant background headache, and now seem to feel slightly nauseous all the time. It should be too far after a shot of chemo to be that causing it and it's not stopping me from eating at all but it's just there.
Finally as of this morning's hair wash the bath had a good coating of hair in it. You can't tell to look at it yet but it won't be long. It's not that I mind the actual loss of hair, although I'd rather keep it obviously, but I think that up until this happens I haven't looked ill. When the hair and eyebrows have gone then people who don't know will look and think 'I wonder if he has cancer' and that's quite hard to take when I still don't consider myself as having it. That might sound strange when I do but even sat in the waiting room with all the other patients I still look around thinking 'what am I doing here? I'm not ill like these people'.
Despite this malaise we had quite a nice day today. Ben stayed at a mate's last night so we got up late, had a nice walk down into town and down by the river. Then a mate came round for a cuppa this afternoon which was a laugh.
Hopefully tomorrow I will feel more positive.
Cheers
Tim
I have to say that it all seems a struggle at the moment. Lots of little things adding together to bring me down. I can't quite kick the last bit of the cold I have had, plus the fact that the cold sores in my nose are healing but still sore all the same. Mouth ulcers are almost better as well but just there, irritating. I have a constant background headache, and now seem to feel slightly nauseous all the time. It should be too far after a shot of chemo to be that causing it and it's not stopping me from eating at all but it's just there.
Finally as of this morning's hair wash the bath had a good coating of hair in it. You can't tell to look at it yet but it won't be long. It's not that I mind the actual loss of hair, although I'd rather keep it obviously, but I think that up until this happens I haven't looked ill. When the hair and eyebrows have gone then people who don't know will look and think 'I wonder if he has cancer' and that's quite hard to take when I still don't consider myself as having it. That might sound strange when I do but even sat in the waiting room with all the other patients I still look around thinking 'what am I doing here? I'm not ill like these people'.
Despite this malaise we had quite a nice day today. Ben stayed at a mate's last night so we got up late, had a nice walk down into town and down by the river. Then a mate came round for a cuppa this afternoon which was a laugh.
Hopefully tomorrow I will feel more positive.
Cheers
Tim
Friday 18 January 2013
Quiet day
Friday 18th January
A very quiet day today. Yesterday's chemo obviously had more effect than I was expecting as I have been shattered all day. I had to go back to bed after lunch as I just couldn't keep my eyes open, only for an hour mind and it still seems like a luxury. I could hear Mand working in her room as I drifted off.
Ben and I did walk down to Tesco this morning. Schools closed at the first whiff of snow, wasn't like that in my day, but nice to have Ben home. I promise we did not panic buy, only 1 pint of milk and 1 loaf of bread of the essentials. I do love walking in the snow, we are going to go for a stroll later when it's dark. I think it is the quiet that I love. I have set the fire ready to light when we get back, and we have cold meat and bubble and squeak for tea, so a cosy night in. Always makes me feel better.
Had decided to do some static exercises to try to keep up fitness until next week's chemo when I won't be able to do anything for at least a week, but just don't have the energy today.
That's about it for today, maybe I'll be more active tomorrow.
Cheers
Tim
A very quiet day today. Yesterday's chemo obviously had more effect than I was expecting as I have been shattered all day. I had to go back to bed after lunch as I just couldn't keep my eyes open, only for an hour mind and it still seems like a luxury. I could hear Mand working in her room as I drifted off.
Ben and I did walk down to Tesco this morning. Schools closed at the first whiff of snow, wasn't like that in my day, but nice to have Ben home. I promise we did not panic buy, only 1 pint of milk and 1 loaf of bread of the essentials. I do love walking in the snow, we are going to go for a stroll later when it's dark. I think it is the quiet that I love. I have set the fire ready to light when we get back, and we have cold meat and bubble and squeak for tea, so a cosy night in. Always makes me feel better.
Had decided to do some static exercises to try to keep up fitness until next week's chemo when I won't be able to do anything for at least a week, but just don't have the energy today.
That's about it for today, maybe I'll be more active tomorrow.
Cheers
Tim
Thursday 17 January 2013
Stll don't like Thursday's
Thursday 17th January
Back into Coventry University Hospital outpatients today for the next dose of chemo. This is the last treatment of the first cycle and should only take an hour. They seemed very busy today though and it took 2 hours instead, the extra hour just spent waiting for someone to come and change the bag on the drip machine. You start with just a saline solution, then an anti-sickness, then a steroid to work with the anti-sickness before finally getting the actual chemo drug. They finish up with some more saline just to flush through so there are quite a few changes to get held up for. Next week we go back to the beginning for another 3 day stay and big dose. Dreading that.
Managed another decent walk this morning up Greenhill and around the orchards behind. 2.2 miles ( Garmin on again ! ) but quite a muddy stroll so not quick.
Once again, wish I was at skittles tonight. The lads are at Wickhamford, awful alley so a hard game to win even tough the opposition aren't great. Good luck to them.
Ben at climbing. Will have to go and pick him up at 9 o'clock which will be a bind as I am sat infront of the fire writng this, nice and cosy.
Hair update. Bugger, evidence in bath after washing hair, not much but bugger, bugger, bugger.
Bring on the snow. At least we don't have to travel at the moment.
Cheers
Tim
Back into Coventry University Hospital outpatients today for the next dose of chemo. This is the last treatment of the first cycle and should only take an hour. They seemed very busy today though and it took 2 hours instead, the extra hour just spent waiting for someone to come and change the bag on the drip machine. You start with just a saline solution, then an anti-sickness, then a steroid to work with the anti-sickness before finally getting the actual chemo drug. They finish up with some more saline just to flush through so there are quite a few changes to get held up for. Next week we go back to the beginning for another 3 day stay and big dose. Dreading that.
Managed another decent walk this morning up Greenhill and around the orchards behind. 2.2 miles ( Garmin on again ! ) but quite a muddy stroll so not quick.
Once again, wish I was at skittles tonight. The lads are at Wickhamford, awful alley so a hard game to win even tough the opposition aren't great. Good luck to them.
Ben at climbing. Will have to go and pick him up at 9 o'clock which will be a bind as I am sat infront of the fire writng this, nice and cosy.
Hair update. Bugger, evidence in bath after washing hair, not much but bugger, bugger, bugger.
Bring on the snow. At least we don't have to travel at the moment.
Cheers
Tim
Wednesday 16 January 2013
Be careful what you wish for
Wednesday 16th January
I had a conversation with Mandy earlier this week during which she admitted that she had been thinking about how she wished she had been more careful about what she had wished for. Before all this happened and we were supposed to be going to New Zealand, she had thought that when we got back she hoped that our daily routine would change. She didn't want to go back to the 9 to 5 daily grind that seems to go on week after week. Now after everything that has happened she would love to have come back to that. She added that she did like me being at home but obviously not like this.
This made me think about the fact that I am always complaining about not having enough time at home, and now all I want is to go back to being out at work, or running, or skittles. Just not sat at home.
I guess the moral of the story is be specific when you make a wish.
Another quite good day today, although it started with another bad headache. Fortunately this one was dealt with early enough to prevent it becoming a migraine. It still meant I pretty much wasted this morning but at least got out for a nice brisk walk along the riverside this afternoon. Also I have managed to get in touch with an old school friend via facebook that I have only had vague contact with for probably 25 years. Rich and I lived in the same village for years and spent a lot of time together cycling and playing sport. It will be good to reacquaint ourselves.
Hair update. Hmmm. All quiet on the actual head of hair although it feels perhaps a little almost crisp (or am I imagining this?). However the sink had a lot of hair in it from under my arms when I washed earlier. And in plucking out a couple of stray eyebrows they came out freely instead of painfully like usual. I think the end is nigh!!
Cheers
Tim
I had a conversation with Mandy earlier this week during which she admitted that she had been thinking about how she wished she had been more careful about what she had wished for. Before all this happened and we were supposed to be going to New Zealand, she had thought that when we got back she hoped that our daily routine would change. She didn't want to go back to the 9 to 5 daily grind that seems to go on week after week. Now after everything that has happened she would love to have come back to that. She added that she did like me being at home but obviously not like this.
This made me think about the fact that I am always complaining about not having enough time at home, and now all I want is to go back to being out at work, or running, or skittles. Just not sat at home.
I guess the moral of the story is be specific when you make a wish.
Another quite good day today, although it started with another bad headache. Fortunately this one was dealt with early enough to prevent it becoming a migraine. It still meant I pretty much wasted this morning but at least got out for a nice brisk walk along the riverside this afternoon. Also I have managed to get in touch with an old school friend via facebook that I have only had vague contact with for probably 25 years. Rich and I lived in the same village for years and spent a lot of time together cycling and playing sport. It will be good to reacquaint ourselves.
Hair update. Hmmm. All quiet on the actual head of hair although it feels perhaps a little almost crisp (or am I imagining this?). However the sink had a lot of hair in it from under my arms when I washed earlier. And in plucking out a couple of stray eyebrows they came out freely instead of painfully like usual. I think the end is nigh!!
Cheers
Tim
Tuesday 15 January 2013
Part timer
Tuesday 15th January
Another good day today. It feels like I don't have much of illness significance to write at the moment as everything seems to be OK. Today however I felt like I made a major step forward if in no other way than my mental state. I went to work !
I called the boss to see if it was OK if I went over to see everyone, which it was, so set off and got there about 11 o'clock. The boss said "well whilst you are here ............" and I stayed for about the next 4 hours. This was like taking medicine for the soul and mind.
I have to say by the time I had driven home I was pretty tired but quite content. It is easy when you are at home to fall into the routine of taking extra time with everything. Wake up later, lie there for a bit before getting up, have some breakfast, put TV on, go and have a bath, check emails, facebook etc. Gosh it's lunchtime and I've done nothing. Have a walk, perhaps go to Tesco, Ben home 4 o'clock, it's dark outside so day is over and I've still done nothing. I could get away with this for the week after the major shot of chemo as I genuinely did not have the energy but since then I shouldn't be doing it ( but it's so easy ).
Really going to make an effort to get more done for a bit and get back to work a few more times before the next big shot a week on Thursday (24th). God I am so dreading going back in for those three days. I just have to keep thinking that when that one is over I only have one more stay to go (please, please, please).
Cheers for now.
Tim
Another good day today. It feels like I don't have much of illness significance to write at the moment as everything seems to be OK. Today however I felt like I made a major step forward if in no other way than my mental state. I went to work !
I called the boss to see if it was OK if I went over to see everyone, which it was, so set off and got there about 11 o'clock. The boss said "well whilst you are here ............" and I stayed for about the next 4 hours. This was like taking medicine for the soul and mind.
I have to say by the time I had driven home I was pretty tired but quite content. It is easy when you are at home to fall into the routine of taking extra time with everything. Wake up later, lie there for a bit before getting up, have some breakfast, put TV on, go and have a bath, check emails, facebook etc. Gosh it's lunchtime and I've done nothing. Have a walk, perhaps go to Tesco, Ben home 4 o'clock, it's dark outside so day is over and I've still done nothing. I could get away with this for the week after the major shot of chemo as I genuinely did not have the energy but since then I shouldn't be doing it ( but it's so easy ).
Really going to make an effort to get more done for a bit and get back to work a few more times before the next big shot a week on Thursday (24th). God I am so dreading going back in for those three days. I just have to keep thinking that when that one is over I only have one more stay to go (please, please, please).
Cheers for now.
Tim
Monday 14 January 2013
More like old self
Monday 14th January
Today I have felt much more like my old self. Three things have shown this that have happened this afternoon.
Firstly, inspired by reading about yesterday's Naunton race and pictures on facebook of some people I know going for a very muddy run up Bredon Hill ( god I miss running up Bredon ), I decided to try to get at least a little muddy. Putting on the wellies I walked down behind Tesco and along the river to Hampton ferry and back, cutting back up by the rugby club. That's the furthest I have walked and did not get tired, really enjoyed it and even managed to get a little dirty. Funny quite what you miss.
On return home Mandy made a cup of tea. Not only did the tea taste alright but after a while munching at a tin of chocolate biscuits Mand actually put the lid back on to stop me. I think I preferred the 'eat all you can' wife of last week.
Finally whilst washing up I put on a CD that I had for Christmas. This is one that I used to own ( actually still do come to think of it ) on vinyl ( go and ask your parents if you don't know !! ). It is an album entitled Metal Heart by an 80's German metal band called Accept. I found myself singing along quite happily, remembering all the words despite not having heard it for about 15 years. Also a strange thing that doesn't happen nowadays in the downloading era, we all knew what the next track would be before it started as we had to listen to the tracks in the same order every time, so I even could hum the opening bars of the next song before it began. God I must have listened to this a lot.
I know all days will not be good like this one but you have to take every positive you can and enjoy the moment. Not a bad philosophy for life actually.
Something else has just occurred to me, for the first time in weeks I did not change from trousers to pyjama bottoms the moment I walked in. Although now I have thought about it I'm off upstairs to change.
Cheers
Tim
Today I have felt much more like my old self. Three things have shown this that have happened this afternoon.
Firstly, inspired by reading about yesterday's Naunton race and pictures on facebook of some people I know going for a very muddy run up Bredon Hill ( god I miss running up Bredon ), I decided to try to get at least a little muddy. Putting on the wellies I walked down behind Tesco and along the river to Hampton ferry and back, cutting back up by the rugby club. That's the furthest I have walked and did not get tired, really enjoyed it and even managed to get a little dirty. Funny quite what you miss.
On return home Mandy made a cup of tea. Not only did the tea taste alright but after a while munching at a tin of chocolate biscuits Mand actually put the lid back on to stop me. I think I preferred the 'eat all you can' wife of last week.
Finally whilst washing up I put on a CD that I had for Christmas. This is one that I used to own ( actually still do come to think of it ) on vinyl ( go and ask your parents if you don't know !! ). It is an album entitled Metal Heart by an 80's German metal band called Accept. I found myself singing along quite happily, remembering all the words despite not having heard it for about 15 years. Also a strange thing that doesn't happen nowadays in the downloading era, we all knew what the next track would be before it started as we had to listen to the tracks in the same order every time, so I even could hum the opening bars of the next song before it began. God I must have listened to this a lot.
I know all days will not be good like this one but you have to take every positive you can and enjoy the moment. Not a bad philosophy for life actually.
Something else has just occurred to me, for the first time in weeks I did not change from trousers to pyjama bottoms the moment I walked in. Although now I have thought about it I'm off upstairs to change.
Cheers
Tim
Sunday 13 January 2013
Out for lunch
Sunday 13th January
Today was the first time since the treatment started that I felt able to go out to eat. I need to avoid too many people at the moment as I am at my lowest white blood cell count for this round of chemo leaving me very vulnerable to infection, although judging from how blocked up I am it's too late to worry. Just need to keep an eye on my temperature, over 38 deg and it's off to hospital for anti-biotics.
So just Mandy, Ben and I off to Mandy's mum for roast lamb with all the trimmings. Absolutely fab, 2 lots of seconds, I do love this having to eat all I can to keep the strength up.
If I feel this good for the next couple of days I will attempt a foray to my place of work. I miss work like mad. I've been off since the 6th of December now and it's driving me up the wall. I work in a small company that I have been with for 14 years dealing with the order book, placing of orders and all goods in and out. Plus we also build some bespoke machinery which I use my former skills as a toolmaker on the lathe and miller. As only 3 of us take on the majority of the work ( except finance and admin ) me being away has left a big hole. I have to say that my boss has been absolutely fantastic through this whole experience, offering tremendous support and taking away any financial pressure that could have been a worry.
One regret for today is missing out on a race. Ben and I were only supposed to be marshalling at the Naunton 19 but as it was such a glorious day it would have been great. Congrats to Kurt and Nic on the organisation, early comments look good.
Now have lit the fire and going to have toast and crumpets for supper.
Today was the first time since the treatment started that I felt able to go out to eat. I need to avoid too many people at the moment as I am at my lowest white blood cell count for this round of chemo leaving me very vulnerable to infection, although judging from how blocked up I am it's too late to worry. Just need to keep an eye on my temperature, over 38 deg and it's off to hospital for anti-biotics.
So just Mandy, Ben and I off to Mandy's mum for roast lamb with all the trimmings. Absolutely fab, 2 lots of seconds, I do love this having to eat all I can to keep the strength up.
If I feel this good for the next couple of days I will attempt a foray to my place of work. I miss work like mad. I've been off since the 6th of December now and it's driving me up the wall. I work in a small company that I have been with for 14 years dealing with the order book, placing of orders and all goods in and out. Plus we also build some bespoke machinery which I use my former skills as a toolmaker on the lathe and miller. As only 3 of us take on the majority of the work ( except finance and admin ) me being away has left a big hole. I have to say that my boss has been absolutely fantastic through this whole experience, offering tremendous support and taking away any financial pressure that could have been a worry.
One regret for today is missing out on a race. Ben and I were only supposed to be marshalling at the Naunton 19 but as it was such a glorious day it would have been great. Congrats to Kurt and Nic on the organisation, early comments look good.
Now have lit the fire and going to have toast and crumpets for supper.
Saturday 12 January 2013
Side effects
Saturday 12th January
Most people know the side effect of losing your hair during chemotherapy, although this actually doesn't happen to everyone. I am rapidly learning that there are so many different types of chemo, each one tailored to your own condition, and even for the same cancer the treatment can be different.
Even today we bumped into a girl that Mandy knows whilst in Tesco petrol station. Turns out that only a month before I was diagnosed, her husband found the same thing. He too had an op to remove the offending article and is just about to start his chemo. He is having one blast just as a make sure, but it brings it back as to how many people this effects. She is also pregnant which adds it's own complications, she is not allowed any contact with him for 2 days when he has the chemo. Basically you spend the few days after treatment expelling the drug crap from every pore and it is toxic stuff.
One of the current not so severe side effects is my change in taste. I think I have mentioned before that water now tastes revolting. To me it tastes full of soap, even swilling my mouth out after cleaning my teeth is horrible. So I now have to only drink squash which I haven't drunk for years, or lucozade or anything cold with some flavour in it. I also can't face tea, except to use it to dunk biscuits in.
In terms of food I seem to have changed from a sweet tooth to a savoury craving person. Before I was always a chocolate or cake muncher ( too often to be fair ), but I had chocolate today for the first time since chemo and although it tasted OK it did nothing for me. We bought crisps in Tesco's instead, Mandy is in a panic as she is a savoury/crisp person and is worried she will put on weight if she joins in every time I snack!
For cooked food again it is savoury. The only 2 things I have really enjoyed in the last week are the spaghetti meatballs we had tonight and the fishfinger mishmash we had ( fishfingers cooked with mushrooms, onions and a tin of tomatoes served with rice, excellent ). Always did enjoy these but now they seem even better, maybe because I am still trying to catch up on missed food.
Unfortunately you also become very susceptible to mouth ulcers and cold sores. Mouth wash and having to use a soft toothbrush has so far avoided the ulcers, but the cold sores have arrived. At times it feels like one thing after another.
Off to find the crisps now.
Cheers
Tim
Most people know the side effect of losing your hair during chemotherapy, although this actually doesn't happen to everyone. I am rapidly learning that there are so many different types of chemo, each one tailored to your own condition, and even for the same cancer the treatment can be different.
Even today we bumped into a girl that Mandy knows whilst in Tesco petrol station. Turns out that only a month before I was diagnosed, her husband found the same thing. He too had an op to remove the offending article and is just about to start his chemo. He is having one blast just as a make sure, but it brings it back as to how many people this effects. She is also pregnant which adds it's own complications, she is not allowed any contact with him for 2 days when he has the chemo. Basically you spend the few days after treatment expelling the drug crap from every pore and it is toxic stuff.
One of the current not so severe side effects is my change in taste. I think I have mentioned before that water now tastes revolting. To me it tastes full of soap, even swilling my mouth out after cleaning my teeth is horrible. So I now have to only drink squash which I haven't drunk for years, or lucozade or anything cold with some flavour in it. I also can't face tea, except to use it to dunk biscuits in.
In terms of food I seem to have changed from a sweet tooth to a savoury craving person. Before I was always a chocolate or cake muncher ( too often to be fair ), but I had chocolate today for the first time since chemo and although it tasted OK it did nothing for me. We bought crisps in Tesco's instead, Mandy is in a panic as she is a savoury/crisp person and is worried she will put on weight if she joins in every time I snack!
For cooked food again it is savoury. The only 2 things I have really enjoyed in the last week are the spaghetti meatballs we had tonight and the fishfinger mishmash we had ( fishfingers cooked with mushrooms, onions and a tin of tomatoes served with rice, excellent ). Always did enjoy these but now they seem even better, maybe because I am still trying to catch up on missed food.
Unfortunately you also become very susceptible to mouth ulcers and cold sores. Mouth wash and having to use a soft toothbrush has so far avoided the ulcers, but the cold sores have arrived. At times it feels like one thing after another.
Off to find the crisps now.
Cheers
Tim
Sleep
Saturday 12th January
9 hours sleep last night almost totally undisturbed. First time in weeks. Absolute heaven.
Tim
9 hours sleep last night almost totally undisturbed. First time in weeks. Absolute heaven.
Tim
Friday 11 January 2013
I don't like Thursday's
Friday 11th January.
I used to so look forward to Thursday's. For nearly the past 20 years it has been skittles night for the Nomads. We used to be Norton Nomads until they closed Norton Working Mens Club and we became homeless. We played at the Coach and Horses in Harvington for a few years but got kicked out because we didn't drink enough, but have now been at the Ecgwins club ( that's the BBC club ) for quite a while.
Skittles in Evesham is a very serious business. When I started back in 1986 the league had 6 divisions of 12 teams, we are now down to 4 divisions. I was in the Coach and Horses one night when my then girlfriend was working as a barmaid. The captain of the local team came in and asked her if she thought I would play that night as they were one short for a team and were deaperate. She said 'yes, but don't expect him to be around for long!!'. Charming. I have played skittles for all the years since and have been married to said barmaid for 20 years too.
I am just as passionate about skittles as I am about running, and have been lucky enough to play with a great bunch of lads and lasses. I guess I just like competetion and particularily winning.
I have the first 2 Thursday's treatment out of the way, only another 7 to go. I think Mandy's blog yesterday summed it all up quite nicely. By a long way my worst day so far, and all due to a migraine and not the treatment, bloody typical. I can't believe how much better I feel today. I have even eaten a cream cake whilst typing this. I like this calorie loading.
By the way, the Nomads won again last night. Their record since I have had to stop is played 3 won 3. Maybe they won't want me back.
Hair update. Still no problems but they still say 'when' not 'if'.
Cheers
Tim
I used to so look forward to Thursday's. For nearly the past 20 years it has been skittles night for the Nomads. We used to be Norton Nomads until they closed Norton Working Mens Club and we became homeless. We played at the Coach and Horses in Harvington for a few years but got kicked out because we didn't drink enough, but have now been at the Ecgwins club ( that's the BBC club ) for quite a while.
Skittles in Evesham is a very serious business. When I started back in 1986 the league had 6 divisions of 12 teams, we are now down to 4 divisions. I was in the Coach and Horses one night when my then girlfriend was working as a barmaid. The captain of the local team came in and asked her if she thought I would play that night as they were one short for a team and were deaperate. She said 'yes, but don't expect him to be around for long!!'. Charming. I have played skittles for all the years since and have been married to said barmaid for 20 years too.
I am just as passionate about skittles as I am about running, and have been lucky enough to play with a great bunch of lads and lasses. I guess I just like competetion and particularily winning.
I have the first 2 Thursday's treatment out of the way, only another 7 to go. I think Mandy's blog yesterday summed it all up quite nicely. By a long way my worst day so far, and all due to a migraine and not the treatment, bloody typical. I can't believe how much better I feel today. I have even eaten a cream cake whilst typing this. I like this calorie loading.
By the way, the Nomads won again last night. Their record since I have had to stop is played 3 won 3. Maybe they won't want me back.
Hair update. Still no problems but they still say 'when' not 'if'.
Cheers
Tim
Thursday 10 January 2013
Not a good day
Thursday 10th January
Tim has not had a good day today so I have taken over blog duties again. The day started very early with him waking with a migraine. He woke me at 5.15 being sick and that set the theme for the day. His appointment at the hospital was meant to be at 9am and as I couldn't see how I was going to get him there for that time in the state he was in, I had to do some frantic phone calls. They were very good and got back to me to say that actually the appointment was 3pm, it had been changed without anyone telling us! It was a good job I spoke to someone otherwise we could have been hanging around for an awfully long time and we would not have been happy bunnies. He slept the rest of the morning and I finally bundled him into the car to drive to Coventry with a bucket between his knees. Now I think even the most confident of drivers finds passengers with sick bags disconcerting! Round about Warwick the car started playing up and as I don't know how to lift the bonnet on my own car let alone Tim's, the poor chap had to get out and look at it. A problem with oil has been diagnosed and a trip to the garage tomorrow is on the cards.
The actual session in the hospital was fine and the nurses lovely, they even gave us some of their lovely egg box cardboard sick 'hats' to bring home! Anyone who has even felt sick near a hospital will know what I mean. These I have to say are a deluxe model and have a measure on the side so you can gauge exact quantities!!
We got home again safely and, apart from a few gulps of fresh air needed at times, without incident.
Certainly not the best day ever. Tim has gone back to bed again and I hope he feels much better tomorrow. The nurse said some of the anti-sickness drugs can trigger migraine, I think it may be a mixture of that and extreme anxiety about today. Still on the plus side another week before we have to go back there again.
Mandy
Tim has not had a good day today so I have taken over blog duties again. The day started very early with him waking with a migraine. He woke me at 5.15 being sick and that set the theme for the day. His appointment at the hospital was meant to be at 9am and as I couldn't see how I was going to get him there for that time in the state he was in, I had to do some frantic phone calls. They were very good and got back to me to say that actually the appointment was 3pm, it had been changed without anyone telling us! It was a good job I spoke to someone otherwise we could have been hanging around for an awfully long time and we would not have been happy bunnies. He slept the rest of the morning and I finally bundled him into the car to drive to Coventry with a bucket between his knees. Now I think even the most confident of drivers finds passengers with sick bags disconcerting! Round about Warwick the car started playing up and as I don't know how to lift the bonnet on my own car let alone Tim's, the poor chap had to get out and look at it. A problem with oil has been diagnosed and a trip to the garage tomorrow is on the cards.
The actual session in the hospital was fine and the nurses lovely, they even gave us some of their lovely egg box cardboard sick 'hats' to bring home! Anyone who has even felt sick near a hospital will know what I mean. These I have to say are a deluxe model and have a measure on the side so you can gauge exact quantities!!
We got home again safely and, apart from a few gulps of fresh air needed at times, without incident.
Certainly not the best day ever. Tim has gone back to bed again and I hope he feels much better tomorrow. The nurse said some of the anti-sickness drugs can trigger migraine, I think it may be a mixture of that and extreme anxiety about today. Still on the plus side another week before we have to go back there again.
Mandy
Wednesday 9 January 2013
Tewkesbury Half Marathon
Wednesday 9th January.
Hi Everyone. This one is aimed mostly at all my friends from Evesham Vale Running Club. A very special bunch of people.
As I have posted before I intend to have a go at this year's Tewkesbury Half Marathon on Sunday the 19th of May. In fact yesterday's little walk included a trip to the post office to put a large letter stamp on my SAE and post the entry.
It will be an unknown quantity for me for some time yet as to how I am going to tackle this. Let's do a bit of a time line. Last session of Chemo should be Thursday 28th of February, although this could move if there are any delays in previous sessions ( lack of bed or my blood count being not up to it ).
After that it is just getting over the treatment hopefully ( did I put 'just' ! ). I will have a scan after 6 weeks, so mid April, to see if the little bastard of a tumor has gone completely or not. They tell me it may disappear completely, especially as it was only 16mm long at last scan after my op, or it may leave a little grissle like lump. If it does leave a lump then it needs to be removed for tests and the surgery would put paid to any hope I have of even making the start line.
So realistically I could have around a 6-7 weeks training, in which case I would hope to be able to jog or jog/walk depending on how long the tiredness lasts, which could be weeks, months or a year. Or I may just be able to walk. Or I may not make it at all.
Having read this I have some 'terms and conditions' for those friends who have indicated or offered to enter the race with me or to come and support me.
If you want to run/walk with me you will be very welcome, I think I will need some help. However if I am not able to start and you have a place in the race then I will be expecting a long list of PBs. Tewkesbury has always been a fast race for me. My quickest 2 times, set in 2004 and 2010, were here so I will accept no excuses. Please bear this in mind if you are thinking of entering.
Thanks again to everyone who has made the offers of help, both with this race and just in general. It has been quite overwhelming.
Cheers
Tim
Hi Everyone. This one is aimed mostly at all my friends from Evesham Vale Running Club. A very special bunch of people.
As I have posted before I intend to have a go at this year's Tewkesbury Half Marathon on Sunday the 19th of May. In fact yesterday's little walk included a trip to the post office to put a large letter stamp on my SAE and post the entry.
It will be an unknown quantity for me for some time yet as to how I am going to tackle this. Let's do a bit of a time line. Last session of Chemo should be Thursday 28th of February, although this could move if there are any delays in previous sessions ( lack of bed or my blood count being not up to it ).
After that it is just getting over the treatment hopefully ( did I put 'just' ! ). I will have a scan after 6 weeks, so mid April, to see if the little bastard of a tumor has gone completely or not. They tell me it may disappear completely, especially as it was only 16mm long at last scan after my op, or it may leave a little grissle like lump. If it does leave a lump then it needs to be removed for tests and the surgery would put paid to any hope I have of even making the start line.
So realistically I could have around a 6-7 weeks training, in which case I would hope to be able to jog or jog/walk depending on how long the tiredness lasts, which could be weeks, months or a year. Or I may just be able to walk. Or I may not make it at all.
Having read this I have some 'terms and conditions' for those friends who have indicated or offered to enter the race with me or to come and support me.
If you want to run/walk with me you will be very welcome, I think I will need some help. However if I am not able to start and you have a place in the race then I will be expecting a long list of PBs. Tewkesbury has always been a fast race for me. My quickest 2 times, set in 2004 and 2010, were here so I will accept no excuses. Please bear this in mind if you are thinking of entering.
Thanks again to everyone who has made the offers of help, both with this race and just in general. It has been quite overwhelming.
Cheers
Tim
Tuesday 8 January 2013
Relief
Tuesday 8th January.
Another side effect, not a pleasant one, terrible constipation last night ( for the last 3 days actually ) apparently due to the anti-sickness drug I'm still taking. Spent half the night on the sofa not able to get comfy but not wanting to disturb Mand. Still, moving now you'll be glad to hear.
Just thought I would share.
Tim
Another side effect, not a pleasant one, terrible constipation last night ( for the last 3 days actually ) apparently due to the anti-sickness drug I'm still taking. Spent half the night on the sofa not able to get comfy but not wanting to disturb Mand. Still, moving now you'll be glad to hear.
Just thought I would share.
Tim
Monday 7 January 2013
Tiredness
Monday 7th January.
Sorry folks, not much to report today, just so tired. It's a weird kind of tiredness. Not like after a hard, long race when your muscles ache as well but just complete exhaustion, almost of the mind as well as body. It's not like I think I want to move and cannot be bothered, but that thinking about moving is hard.
Having said that Mandy did drive me down to Boots opposite Tesco to get an electric shaver ( not allowed to wet shave as drugs make you bleed and bruise more easily ) and then left me there to walk home ( bitch! ). Only joking!! It was my idea.
Lack of energy also down to having no appetite. They did warn me it would change and it has. I don't fancy sweet things such as chocolate or cake which is unheard of. Also I have not been able to face a cup of tea since being home, I hope this changes soon as I miss a good cuppa.
Mandy made a great steak and mushroom pie for tea which was delicious but I've also got indigestion due to the steroids they give you for anti-sickness so couldn't manage much. They don't tell you these small details, still there is pie left for tomorrow and I have taken Gaviscon!
Off to watch Corrie now.
Cheers
Tim
Sorry folks, not much to report today, just so tired. It's a weird kind of tiredness. Not like after a hard, long race when your muscles ache as well but just complete exhaustion, almost of the mind as well as body. It's not like I think I want to move and cannot be bothered, but that thinking about moving is hard.
Having said that Mandy did drive me down to Boots opposite Tesco to get an electric shaver ( not allowed to wet shave as drugs make you bleed and bruise more easily ) and then left me there to walk home ( bitch! ). Only joking!! It was my idea.
Lack of energy also down to having no appetite. They did warn me it would change and it has. I don't fancy sweet things such as chocolate or cake which is unheard of. Also I have not been able to face a cup of tea since being home, I hope this changes soon as I miss a good cuppa.
Mandy made a great steak and mushroom pie for tea which was delicious but I've also got indigestion due to the steroids they give you for anti-sickness so couldn't manage much. They don't tell you these small details, still there is pie left for tomorrow and I have taken Gaviscon!
Off to watch Corrie now.
Cheers
Tim
Sunday 6 January 2013
Back in training
Sunday 6th January.
Put my running shoes back on this afternoon. Road shoes only, best not do off-road yet ( sorry Kurt ). Garmin strapped on and off we go. Left out of Victoria Avenue, left into Cambria road, straight on all the way up the hill of Windsor Road and back down Princess Road to home. All in all 0.6 miles in 17.05 minutes.
Not great but a start anyway. I could have gone further and faster as I felt fine but have been told to keep it really gentle for a bit and see how it goes. Felt overdressed with my shoes on ( Ben was horrified, trainers and tracksuit, what a chav ) but I have promised not to walk down to school to meet him like that every day.
Hair update. Washed it today and still all on head when done.
Cheers
Tim
Put my running shoes back on this afternoon. Road shoes only, best not do off-road yet ( sorry Kurt ). Garmin strapped on and off we go. Left out of Victoria Avenue, left into Cambria road, straight on all the way up the hill of Windsor Road and back down Princess Road to home. All in all 0.6 miles in 17.05 minutes.
Not great but a start anyway. I could have gone further and faster as I felt fine but have been told to keep it really gentle for a bit and see how it goes. Felt overdressed with my shoes on ( Ben was horrified, trainers and tracksuit, what a chav ) but I have promised not to walk down to school to meet him like that every day.
Hair update. Washed it today and still all on head when done.
Cheers
Tim
Hospital time, coming home and tales of Roy
Sunday 6th January.
Back home again last night, cup of decent tea, then a bath to scrub off the hospital feel followed by 13 hours sleep with only brief wake ups for the loo, absolute heaven ( sleep not the loo! ).
Going back a step, the 2 days before I went in were very stressful. Fear of the unknown and the realism of it all came crashing in and there were tears for both Mandy and I, even a huge row for which I apologise unreservedly. I suppose it was surprising it didn't happen earlier.
The hospital is not a great overall experience. Most things I cannot fault, certainly not the nurses, these girls put up with so much and are total angels. I could not do what they do.
Being attached to a drip for 10 hours at a time is not fun either. Having to unplug it and wheel it with you to the loo and get back before the reserve battery runs out. It seems like I am obsessed with the loo from this but let me explain. For 3 days I have had to write down everything I drink and what time whilst also doing all my wee in a bottle and write down that as well. All to make sure I am not retaining liquid. At least I could get to the loo on my own and have privacy, unlike several of the others. Poor Bill in the next bed having to do everything ( very loudly most of the time ) with everyone listening. A really nice guy though, 87 years old with bone marrow cancer so they are just keeping him alive, but still upbeat and can't wait to get home.
Then we come to Roy. Really sad this one, I think I may have described him as a nutter but in fact has a problem with his calcium ( to go with his lung cancer ) which leaves him very confused. I don't think he is perhaps all there normally but not as bad as this.
He really was the typical character from a comedy hospital sketch on Friday. He sat on the side of his bed, picked up his pudding ( bowl of sponge pudding with custard ), the spoon got half way to his mouth when he dropped off to sleep. Spoon got lower, back into bowl, then the whole lot onto the floor. This woke Roy who just commented ' f***ing great, I'm not f***ing staying here anymore.'
Then just straight back to sleep sat up for about 3 minutes, then back awake, stands up and wanders off as if nothing had happened.
All very funny in isolation but his daughter visited a couple of times and looked so upset the whole time it made you want to cry.
I know all this can be a bit depressing for which I apologise but I am going to try to be honest. I think I will try to write some light hearted ones separately so stay tuned.
Lastly just a plea. If anyone reading this has a concern about anything they find like the lump I did, go to the doctor straight away. It is a win/win situation. Hopefully they tell you it is nothing and you stop worrying. If it is something then you get treatment earlier and it is easier to treat. Never, never wait.
OK. Lecture over. Till next time.
Tim
Back home again last night, cup of decent tea, then a bath to scrub off the hospital feel followed by 13 hours sleep with only brief wake ups for the loo, absolute heaven ( sleep not the loo! ).
Going back a step, the 2 days before I went in were very stressful. Fear of the unknown and the realism of it all came crashing in and there were tears for both Mandy and I, even a huge row for which I apologise unreservedly. I suppose it was surprising it didn't happen earlier.
The hospital is not a great overall experience. Most things I cannot fault, certainly not the nurses, these girls put up with so much and are total angels. I could not do what they do.
Being attached to a drip for 10 hours at a time is not fun either. Having to unplug it and wheel it with you to the loo and get back before the reserve battery runs out. It seems like I am obsessed with the loo from this but let me explain. For 3 days I have had to write down everything I drink and what time whilst also doing all my wee in a bottle and write down that as well. All to make sure I am not retaining liquid. At least I could get to the loo on my own and have privacy, unlike several of the others. Poor Bill in the next bed having to do everything ( very loudly most of the time ) with everyone listening. A really nice guy though, 87 years old with bone marrow cancer so they are just keeping him alive, but still upbeat and can't wait to get home.
Then we come to Roy. Really sad this one, I think I may have described him as a nutter but in fact has a problem with his calcium ( to go with his lung cancer ) which leaves him very confused. I don't think he is perhaps all there normally but not as bad as this.
He really was the typical character from a comedy hospital sketch on Friday. He sat on the side of his bed, picked up his pudding ( bowl of sponge pudding with custard ), the spoon got half way to his mouth when he dropped off to sleep. Spoon got lower, back into bowl, then the whole lot onto the floor. This woke Roy who just commented ' f***ing great, I'm not f***ing staying here anymore.'
Then just straight back to sleep sat up for about 3 minutes, then back awake, stands up and wanders off as if nothing had happened.
All very funny in isolation but his daughter visited a couple of times and looked so upset the whole time it made you want to cry.
I know all this can be a bit depressing for which I apologise but I am going to try to be honest. I think I will try to write some light hearted ones separately so stay tuned.
Lastly just a plea. If anyone reading this has a concern about anything they find like the lump I did, go to the doctor straight away. It is a win/win situation. Hopefully they tell you it is nothing and you stop worrying. If it is something then you get treatment earlier and it is easier to treat. Never, never wait.
OK. Lecture over. Till next time.
Tim
Saturday 5 January 2013
Home Again
Saturday 5th January
Tim again couldn't get on-line today so couldn't write his own thoughts. He will no doubt tomorrow as he is home again. He was finally released at around 6.30 tonight and would have run to the car and locked the doors if he had had the energy! He hadn't though so we ambled slowly instead. So that's the first long session done and apart from the fatigue, which is a mixture of two very disrupted nights and the drugs, he seems OK. He has also lost his appetite to an extent that I think, even offering him cake would be met with a refusal! Hopefully with plenty of sleep in his own bed over the next few days he will recover quickly.
I was nearly as glad as he was to see the back of the hospital. It is like entering another world where time passes without you realising. Hopefully Roy will be better too before we have to visit again!!!
Mandy
Friday 4 January 2013
A Wife's View
Friday 4th Jan
Tim has asked me to write as he is having trouble getting on line at the hospital today. He didn't sleep much, the poor chap in the next bed was ill in the night and they were mopping the floor up at 4.30 Tim said, after he had been sick. The old chap that is not Tim! They are still pumping anti- sickness into Tim at a vast rate so hopefully it will do its job and no one will need to clear up after him at any point. I have to say I wouldn't want to be a nurse with everything they have to deal with. Consequently when I got there today Tim was very tired and had a splitting headache, by the time I left, £5.40 worth of parking charge later, he was feeling better and had munched his way through a few biscuits. Roy was still ward wandering but we managed to avoid his attention and only heard him swear once today when his cup fell on the floor. Boy he knows how to swear though! The orange regulation PJ's don't help either it has to be said as they do make him look like an escapee from Guantanamo.
We are hoping that Tim will make his escape tomorrow. He will be glad to be home and I will be very glad to have him home. I readily admit I am not the world's best nurse but I will try my very best.
Mandy
Tim has asked me to write as he is having trouble getting on line at the hospital today. He didn't sleep much, the poor chap in the next bed was ill in the night and they were mopping the floor up at 4.30 Tim said, after he had been sick. The old chap that is not Tim! They are still pumping anti- sickness into Tim at a vast rate so hopefully it will do its job and no one will need to clear up after him at any point. I have to say I wouldn't want to be a nurse with everything they have to deal with. Consequently when I got there today Tim was very tired and had a splitting headache, by the time I left, £5.40 worth of parking charge later, he was feeling better and had munched his way through a few biscuits. Roy was still ward wandering but we managed to avoid his attention and only heard him swear once today when his cup fell on the floor. Boy he knows how to swear though! The orange regulation PJ's don't help either it has to be said as they do make him look like an escapee from Guantanamo.
We are hoping that Tim will make his escape tomorrow. He will be glad to be home and I will be very glad to have him home. I readily admit I am not the world's best nurse but I will try my very best.
Mandy
Thursday 3 January 2013
Off we go
Thursday 3rd January.
So I am in Coventry University Hospital now. The oncology (cancer) ward has 36 beds split into 6 wards of 6 beds. The other beds are all occupied by much older guys, I think I am the youngest by around 20 years. Have spoken to Brian who is nice, should get some intelligent conversation there, but trying not to catch Roy's eye - he seems to be a 'character' shall we say. It's a bit like a stereo typical comedy character who appears to be asleep, then sits up and swears at you, then straight back to sleep. Could be an interesting night!
Attached to the drip feed machine about 11.45 to be filled up with saline for 2 hours, makes you want to pee all the time. Then 2 anti-sickness tablets and one bag of drip fed anti-sickness and one steroid drip, then they still bring you a bucket if you need to puke. Now into 2 hours of the first chemo drug, then another hour of the 2nd drug, then another 2 hours of saline to flush it all through.
Thank God for internet and tele.
My alarm on my drip has just gone off. Press the alarm to the nurse station. Someone will turn up in a while I'm sure. Brings to mind a scene from the movie Airplane where they keep pulling out the drip and just putting it back in time before she croaks.
Roy just back from day room, more words of wisdom coming I fear.
Can't wait for Saturday to get home and I have only been here for 6 hours.
So I am in Coventry University Hospital now. The oncology (cancer) ward has 36 beds split into 6 wards of 6 beds. The other beds are all occupied by much older guys, I think I am the youngest by around 20 years. Have spoken to Brian who is nice, should get some intelligent conversation there, but trying not to catch Roy's eye - he seems to be a 'character' shall we say. It's a bit like a stereo typical comedy character who appears to be asleep, then sits up and swears at you, then straight back to sleep. Could be an interesting night!
Attached to the drip feed machine about 11.45 to be filled up with saline for 2 hours, makes you want to pee all the time. Then 2 anti-sickness tablets and one bag of drip fed anti-sickness and one steroid drip, then they still bring you a bucket if you need to puke. Now into 2 hours of the first chemo drug, then another hour of the 2nd drug, then another 2 hours of saline to flush it all through.
Thank God for internet and tele.
My alarm on my drip has just gone off. Press the alarm to the nurse station. Someone will turn up in a while I'm sure. Brings to mind a scene from the movie Airplane where they keep pulling out the drip and just putting it back in time before she croaks.
Roy just back from day room, more words of wisdom coming I fear.
Can't wait for Saturday to get home and I have only been here for 6 hours.
Wednesday 2 January 2013
Still waiting
Wednesday 2nd January.
No joy today. Bed available but too late to start treatment. Now booked in for 10am tomorrow to get going.
Similar to a race really. Had to be well hydrated before hand, loads of adrenaline too.
Never thought I would be disappointed not to be receiving something that would make me feel crap!
Tim
No joy today. Bed available but too late to start treatment. Now booked in for 10am tomorrow to get going.
Similar to a race really. Had to be well hydrated before hand, loads of adrenaline too.
Never thought I would be disappointed not to be receiving something that would make me feel crap!
Tim
Waiting at the start line
Wednesday 2nd January.
So here I am, sat at home waiting for a bed to become free in the oncology ward so that I can start my chemotherapy. It is 9.45am at the moment and it could be anytime today, or tomorrow, so just left in limbo at the moment.
As this is my first blog perhaps just a quick bit of history. Most reading this will know me but there may be others so bear with me.
My name is Tim. I am 44 years old and married to Mandy with a 15 year old son called Ben. I have been diagnosed with having a metastatic teratoma, or lump on a testicle to you and me. I have had it removed ( cross your legs now boys ) but there is still some infection so chemo is needed. 9 weeks in total.
The blog is entitled 'Running against Cancer' as I am a fairly dedicated runner and have been for the last 11 years. The blog will go on until I have beaten the illness and completed another race. The aim is to run the Tewkesbury half marathon in May as I have done this race every year since I started running and I refuse to fail to get to the finish line this year. I may have to walk, I may be able to run, at this point I have no idea.
I belong to the Evesham Vale Running Club. The support I have received from the members has been fantastic and I have no doubt that they will provide me with extra incentive and encouragement during this time.
Some blogs will be short, some will be longer. I am sure that some will be ramblings about other interests, but I hope that you keep reading and follow my progress, and maybe it will be of some help to other people going through similar experiences.
Cheers for now.
Tim
So here I am, sat at home waiting for a bed to become free in the oncology ward so that I can start my chemotherapy. It is 9.45am at the moment and it could be anytime today, or tomorrow, so just left in limbo at the moment.
As this is my first blog perhaps just a quick bit of history. Most reading this will know me but there may be others so bear with me.
My name is Tim. I am 44 years old and married to Mandy with a 15 year old son called Ben. I have been diagnosed with having a metastatic teratoma, or lump on a testicle to you and me. I have had it removed ( cross your legs now boys ) but there is still some infection so chemo is needed. 9 weeks in total.
The blog is entitled 'Running against Cancer' as I am a fairly dedicated runner and have been for the last 11 years. The blog will go on until I have beaten the illness and completed another race. The aim is to run the Tewkesbury half marathon in May as I have done this race every year since I started running and I refuse to fail to get to the finish line this year. I may have to walk, I may be able to run, at this point I have no idea.
I belong to the Evesham Vale Running Club. The support I have received from the members has been fantastic and I have no doubt that they will provide me with extra incentive and encouragement during this time.
Some blogs will be short, some will be longer. I am sure that some will be ramblings about other interests, but I hope that you keep reading and follow my progress, and maybe it will be of some help to other people going through similar experiences.
Cheers for now.
Tim
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