Tuesday 21st May
So here we are at the end of the journey, and it has been a journey. In the great scheme of things it has only been 5 months and two weeks since I was diagnosed, a very small part of my life so far but it has seemed so much longer.
Mandy last night summed up the events quite nicely. There have certainly been highs and some very low lows but now it is time to move on. I will never forget, and certainly won't be allowed to as I move from check up to check up. I think it will be a shadow that is constantly there. Already the slightest thing wrong and you immediately look to whether it could be related to the cancer. This will fade somewhat with time but I guess an underlying fear will always be present.
What I really want to talk about tonight is friendship. As the saying goes, at times like these you find out who your friends are, and I have certainly not found them wanting. The support I have received right from the start has been nothing short of amazing. I could not have made a better decision than to be very public about what was happening. The constant stream of encouragement and messages that I have received has helped beyond belief. The world would have seemed an even darker place than it did without you and for that I am eternally grateful to all of you.
My family have been there all the way with me as well. It has not been easy for them as I went through periods of not really wanting to see people or being able to, but knowing they were there for me and probably more importantly for Mandy was such a comfort.
Ben has turned out to be the kind of son I could only have dreamt of having. I know this has not been easy for him watching me going through the treatment and not being myself at all. Being a teenager he perhaps has not been able to express this but he is so loving and caring, and in just getting on with his life whilst chaos ruled around him he helped no end. I am very proud of him indeed.
So this brings me to Mandy. We used to laugh together about what a rubbish nurse she was when any illness came along in the family. She could just about manage ten minutes of sympathy before it would run out and she would be impatient for you to be better. But as I should have known with Mand, when the chips were down she can step forward and do anything.
I am struggling here to say what I want to. I have written a few things but deleted them again, so I am going to keep it simple and short.
She has quite simply been the reason I have got through this in the manner I have. We have laughed and cried our way through together. She has held my hand through the worst time of my life and made it all better. I owe her so much. Thank you Mand. I love you.
I think I had better finish there. Thank you all so much for reading this.
Cheers and goodbye.
Tim
Tuesday 21 May 2013
Monday 20 May 2013
A wife's view for the last time
Monday 20th May
So this is my final post, Tim will rightly have the last word tomorrow.
Firstly to yesterday, a day and a race that Tim had throughout his treatment set his sights on getting to the finish line of. He had done so well with his training, picking his speeds and distances up far quicker than I thought he would...or should at times! Determination and competitiveness is deep within him though so I don't know why I was surprised. Outwardly yesterday morning he was very calm, more so than normal before a race. He seemed totally focused on that finish line and nothing was getting in his way. When we arrived he soon found other Evesham runners and Kurt his running mate so Ben and I set off to get as far round the course as possible to wave him on. We had procured a banner from ebay with 'Run Tim Run' printed on it which we could hold up to encourage him further. We managed to walk to the 2 mile marker but after all we could do was wait for him again at the end, trusting him to Kurt.
We waited at the finish knowing he would be around the 2 hour mark, and watched other Evesham runners come in. Not long before he was due an ambulance went off lights flashing and I must admit I did say to Ben 'they better not be going to scrape your Dad up into that!' Not long after though we saw him come into view, looking OK with legs still capable of movement. I was very pleased to see him cross that line.
I have to admit yesterday was a very difficult day for me. Going to the race I felt as nervous as if I was running it myself. I did have a word with Kurt before the start asking him to slow Tim down and generally look after him. He did both and I'm very grateful to him for that. Even after he had finished though when I knew he was round and OK, I struggled with the emotion of it all. Also today I could be tearful if pushed, just sheer relief I think.
Time really has gone quickly but there were points when I thought things couldn't get any worse. They could of course have been much worse and in reality we have been lucky, we got the outcome we were promised. If this experience has taught us nothing else its that there is always someone in a more difficult place than you. Through the process we have touched lives with plenty of others who could expect very different results from Tim's.
And so, as in all good writings, I need a conclusion, the highs and the lows. Lets start with the latter first as there were plenty of them. I will never forget sitting in either of the consultant's rooms, both the initial surgeon's and later the oncologist's and listening in disbelief to what they had to say. Then crying all the way home, trying to still drive safely. That happened too after leaving Tim in A&E, one of the very lowest points of the whole experience. The worst thing of all though was watching my lovely fit husband go through something that made him so ill, and having to try and convince myself that they did know what they were doing and to trust them.
Finding highs is harder, there are only two. I will never forget the support we have received from all those around us. Some I would hope to be able to call on in times of crisis and they have all stepped up to the plate and beyond. There have been others though that I personally didn't really know before who have sent regular messages of support to us both. And the second obvious high is that we were right to trust them at the hospital, they did know their stuff and I have got my man back, not quite in one piece (!) but near enough.
Ben has been fantastic despite being a teenager.
Thank you all and I leave Tim to finish.
Mandy
So this is my final post, Tim will rightly have the last word tomorrow.
Firstly to yesterday, a day and a race that Tim had throughout his treatment set his sights on getting to the finish line of. He had done so well with his training, picking his speeds and distances up far quicker than I thought he would...or should at times! Determination and competitiveness is deep within him though so I don't know why I was surprised. Outwardly yesterday morning he was very calm, more so than normal before a race. He seemed totally focused on that finish line and nothing was getting in his way. When we arrived he soon found other Evesham runners and Kurt his running mate so Ben and I set off to get as far round the course as possible to wave him on. We had procured a banner from ebay with 'Run Tim Run' printed on it which we could hold up to encourage him further. We managed to walk to the 2 mile marker but after all we could do was wait for him again at the end, trusting him to Kurt.
We waited at the finish knowing he would be around the 2 hour mark, and watched other Evesham runners come in. Not long before he was due an ambulance went off lights flashing and I must admit I did say to Ben 'they better not be going to scrape your Dad up into that!' Not long after though we saw him come into view, looking OK with legs still capable of movement. I was very pleased to see him cross that line.
I have to admit yesterday was a very difficult day for me. Going to the race I felt as nervous as if I was running it myself. I did have a word with Kurt before the start asking him to slow Tim down and generally look after him. He did both and I'm very grateful to him for that. Even after he had finished though when I knew he was round and OK, I struggled with the emotion of it all. Also today I could be tearful if pushed, just sheer relief I think.
Time really has gone quickly but there were points when I thought things couldn't get any worse. They could of course have been much worse and in reality we have been lucky, we got the outcome we were promised. If this experience has taught us nothing else its that there is always someone in a more difficult place than you. Through the process we have touched lives with plenty of others who could expect very different results from Tim's.
And so, as in all good writings, I need a conclusion, the highs and the lows. Lets start with the latter first as there were plenty of them. I will never forget sitting in either of the consultant's rooms, both the initial surgeon's and later the oncologist's and listening in disbelief to what they had to say. Then crying all the way home, trying to still drive safely. That happened too after leaving Tim in A&E, one of the very lowest points of the whole experience. The worst thing of all though was watching my lovely fit husband go through something that made him so ill, and having to try and convince myself that they did know what they were doing and to trust them.
Finding highs is harder, there are only two. I will never forget the support we have received from all those around us. Some I would hope to be able to call on in times of crisis and they have all stepped up to the plate and beyond. There have been others though that I personally didn't really know before who have sent regular messages of support to us both. And the second obvious high is that we were right to trust them at the hospital, they did know their stuff and I have got my man back, not quite in one piece (!) but near enough.
Ben has been fantastic despite being a teenager.
Thank you all and I leave Tim to finish.
Mandy
Sunday 19 May 2013
Race day
Sunday 19th May
Today has been quite a day. The blog has been building to this point from the start, and fortunately the plan came together. There was no guarantee that I would have beaten the cancer or even be able to make the start line when I booked the race, but here I am sat in bed absolutely knackered but very happy writing this.
There is so much to put in here but it is so late that this will probably not be the whole tale of the day before I fall asleep. It was certainly eventful ( thank you Mr Leathers! ) but worked out in the end.
The weather was almost perfect, although perhaps just a little hot ( not many times we can say that recently ). The race itself went perfectly to plan. We started with a group of six of us but this whittled down to just Kurt and I in the end. Kurt was invaluable today, without him it could have been very painful. He slowed me down when I was going too quick and just talked to me the whole way to keep me going, although the next time he quotes Shakespeare during a race he had better make sure the guy running next to us is not there. He launched into several minutes of explaining that Shakespeare did not write any plays followed by the facts proving that the Titanic is not the Titanic. Great party guest!!
We finished bang on planned time at 1 hour 55 minutes 12 seconds. A personal worst for me but there haven't been many as satisfying as this one. Di from our club was waiting for me on the finish line with a bouquet of flowers, followed by a crate of beer.
I was so tired I did have to find shade to sit in for a few minutes where I had to take on water and a banana before I could stand again. Whilst I was there I was interviewed by Heart FM which will go out on the breakfast programme tomorrow, although whether I made any sense I'm not sure.
Unfortunately Richard then produced his party piece and had a bit of a collapse after finishing and as I was one of the last remaining Evesham runners there I had to wait while they sorted him out in the back of an ambulance and then drive him home in his car. He promptly fainted again in the car after only about a mile but came round in only about 30 seconds and fortunately picked up from there onwards. He was fine when I saw him later in the afternoon but he didn't half scare me.
We finished the day with a BBQ with friends which was great.
I struggle to find the words to say how grateful I am to everyone for their support. It makes me feel very humble.
Mandy will finish off her thoughts tomorrow night and then I will finish the blog completely on Tuesday.
Till then.
Tim
Today has been quite a day. The blog has been building to this point from the start, and fortunately the plan came together. There was no guarantee that I would have beaten the cancer or even be able to make the start line when I booked the race, but here I am sat in bed absolutely knackered but very happy writing this.
There is so much to put in here but it is so late that this will probably not be the whole tale of the day before I fall asleep. It was certainly eventful ( thank you Mr Leathers! ) but worked out in the end.
The weather was almost perfect, although perhaps just a little hot ( not many times we can say that recently ). The race itself went perfectly to plan. We started with a group of six of us but this whittled down to just Kurt and I in the end. Kurt was invaluable today, without him it could have been very painful. He slowed me down when I was going too quick and just talked to me the whole way to keep me going, although the next time he quotes Shakespeare during a race he had better make sure the guy running next to us is not there. He launched into several minutes of explaining that Shakespeare did not write any plays followed by the facts proving that the Titanic is not the Titanic. Great party guest!!
We finished bang on planned time at 1 hour 55 minutes 12 seconds. A personal worst for me but there haven't been many as satisfying as this one. Di from our club was waiting for me on the finish line with a bouquet of flowers, followed by a crate of beer.
I was so tired I did have to find shade to sit in for a few minutes where I had to take on water and a banana before I could stand again. Whilst I was there I was interviewed by Heart FM which will go out on the breakfast programme tomorrow, although whether I made any sense I'm not sure.
Unfortunately Richard then produced his party piece and had a bit of a collapse after finishing and as I was one of the last remaining Evesham runners there I had to wait while they sorted him out in the back of an ambulance and then drive him home in his car. He promptly fainted again in the car after only about a mile but came round in only about 30 seconds and fortunately picked up from there onwards. He was fine when I saw him later in the afternoon but he didn't half scare me.
We finished the day with a BBQ with friends which was great.
I struggle to find the words to say how grateful I am to everyone for their support. It makes me feel very humble.
Mandy will finish off her thoughts tomorrow night and then I will finish the blog completely on Tuesday.
Till then.
Tim
Saturday 18 May 2013
Preparing
Saturday 18th May
One day to go to Tewkesbury. We have spent the day mostly getting ready for the party after the race. We have put up a small marquee and been to do the food and drink shopping. Now all we need is a bit of decent weather for the BBQ and we will be rocking.
Not thought too much about the actual race today which is good. People keep saying to me 'it will be quite emotional when you finish' which it will be but I have tried not to dwell on it. It will be a closure of sorts as I really do feel very close to being completely back to normal. Once this is done I have no excuses left, although Mand keeps on reminding me that it is not that long since I have finished and I must still be careful. The body can take a long time to totally recover and it would be easy to overdo it. I think I will take a break from the running for about a week ( yeah right! ), maybe until next Saturday then.
I have received plenty of messages of good luck on Facebook and through the running club today which is fabulous. The total on the sponsorship has now topped £1000 which is tremendous.
So the pasta has been eaten and the kit is out ready. Just need a good night's sleep and off we go.
Cheers till tomorrow.
Tim
One day to go to Tewkesbury. We have spent the day mostly getting ready for the party after the race. We have put up a small marquee and been to do the food and drink shopping. Now all we need is a bit of decent weather for the BBQ and we will be rocking.
Not thought too much about the actual race today which is good. People keep saying to me 'it will be quite emotional when you finish' which it will be but I have tried not to dwell on it. It will be a closure of sorts as I really do feel very close to being completely back to normal. Once this is done I have no excuses left, although Mand keeps on reminding me that it is not that long since I have finished and I must still be careful. The body can take a long time to totally recover and it would be easy to overdo it. I think I will take a break from the running for about a week ( yeah right! ), maybe until next Saturday then.
I have received plenty of messages of good luck on Facebook and through the running club today which is fabulous. The total on the sponsorship has now topped £1000 which is tremendous.
So the pasta has been eaten and the kit is out ready. Just need a good night's sleep and off we go.
Cheers till tomorrow.
Tim
Friday 17 May 2013
Work and not a lot else!
Friday 17th May
It is tough to write anything particularly meaningful and deep on a day when I have basically been to work and come home. Bear with me lets see what I can come up with.
Last night we played the semi final of the Champion of champions. We won but not by much, beating the team who won division 3 this year. We qualified by winning division one ( and the knockout cup but they wouldn't give us two places ). We will play the winners of division 2 in the final on Monday. I had the top score last night as well. It has been a successful season this year as we have won five trophies so far and hopefully another on Monday.
Sunday's race now seems very close. I feel OK at the moment but I will be nervous on the morning itself. Just pray for good running weather, not too hot and not windy, but it will be what it will be. On the other hand it would be nice if it was a decent afternoon as we are having a BBQ.
I have had the date of my first check up through today, August the 15th. It doesn't seem very far away, they are obviously going to see me every 3 months to start with. The first two should be with my Macmillan nurse Zoe and then I will have to see the doctor on the third visit. Only 9 years 9 months to go!
Cheers until tomorrow.
Tim
It is tough to write anything particularly meaningful and deep on a day when I have basically been to work and come home. Bear with me lets see what I can come up with.
Last night we played the semi final of the Champion of champions. We won but not by much, beating the team who won division 3 this year. We qualified by winning division one ( and the knockout cup but they wouldn't give us two places ). We will play the winners of division 2 in the final on Monday. I had the top score last night as well. It has been a successful season this year as we have won five trophies so far and hopefully another on Monday.
Sunday's race now seems very close. I feel OK at the moment but I will be nervous on the morning itself. Just pray for good running weather, not too hot and not windy, but it will be what it will be. On the other hand it would be nice if it was a decent afternoon as we are having a BBQ.
I have had the date of my first check up through today, August the 15th. It doesn't seem very far away, they are obviously going to see me every 3 months to start with. The first two should be with my Macmillan nurse Zoe and then I will have to see the doctor on the third visit. Only 9 years 9 months to go!
Cheers until tomorrow.
Tim
Thursday 16 May 2013
Sponsorship
Thursday 16th May
I have been pushing on with the fund raising effort of sponsorship for me running on Sunday. Yet again I have been overwhelmed by the level of support I am getting. By now I should not be surprised but it still gets me every time. I am approaching the £1000 mark which is just fantastic. It feels like everyone I ever run with will be there on Sunday taking part, I really should be getting commission from the organisers.
No training today, I have finished now until the race. Normally I would probably have had a run on Friday but maybe not this time. Although !!
I have just been reading the blog from 19th of Feb onwards. It was around the horrible night I spent in A & E in Worcester. I had obviously not re-read it before as I had not noticed that on the 19th I had put that I didn't feel very well but hopefully I would have nothing to write for a few days, that it would be boring but I just wanted a couple of quiet days. How much more wrong could I have been. I think it was one of the worst nights of my life along with the night Ben broke his leg when he was only three ( in a soft play area of all places, what a numpty ).
We had to put up with so much for those couple of days with the temperature and sickness, the awful treatment I received at Worcester, and then straight off for another bout of chemo. God I'm glad it is over now.
I'm off to play skittles now, it is the semi final of the champion of champions competition.
Cheers
Tim
I have been pushing on with the fund raising effort of sponsorship for me running on Sunday. Yet again I have been overwhelmed by the level of support I am getting. By now I should not be surprised but it still gets me every time. I am approaching the £1000 mark which is just fantastic. It feels like everyone I ever run with will be there on Sunday taking part, I really should be getting commission from the organisers.
No training today, I have finished now until the race. Normally I would probably have had a run on Friday but maybe not this time. Although !!
I have just been reading the blog from 19th of Feb onwards. It was around the horrible night I spent in A & E in Worcester. I had obviously not re-read it before as I had not noticed that on the 19th I had put that I didn't feel very well but hopefully I would have nothing to write for a few days, that it would be boring but I just wanted a couple of quiet days. How much more wrong could I have been. I think it was one of the worst nights of my life along with the night Ben broke his leg when he was only three ( in a soft play area of all places, what a numpty ).
We had to put up with so much for those couple of days with the temperature and sickness, the awful treatment I received at Worcester, and then straight off for another bout of chemo. God I'm glad it is over now.
I'm off to play skittles now, it is the semi final of the champion of champions competition.
Cheers
Tim
Wednesday 15 May 2013
No news is good news
Wednesday 15th May
I'm struggling to find anything to write about tonight, which in the great scheme of things is probably a positive.
Normal day at work, followed by a rush to fetch my mum's birthday present which was at Mandy's mum's house and deliver it to my mum who is 83 tomorrow. I can't go over tomorrow as there is just too much on including skittles in the evening.
From mum and dad's house I went for a last run before Sunday's race. A nice little 4 miles including some hills which I really need to work on, but I can feel I am getting stronger and quicker with every outing.
Picked up chips on the way home so it was a complete waste of time in terms of burning calories!
Now just sat trying to relax.
Cheers
Tim
I'm struggling to find anything to write about tonight, which in the great scheme of things is probably a positive.
Normal day at work, followed by a rush to fetch my mum's birthday present which was at Mandy's mum's house and deliver it to my mum who is 83 tomorrow. I can't go over tomorrow as there is just too much on including skittles in the evening.
From mum and dad's house I went for a last run before Sunday's race. A nice little 4 miles including some hills which I really need to work on, but I can feel I am getting stronger and quicker with every outing.
Picked up chips on the way home so it was a complete waste of time in terms of burning calories!
Now just sat trying to relax.
Cheers
Tim
Tuesday 14 May 2013
Interview
Tuesday 14th May
I have just been interviewed by the Vale magazine for a piece they are going to write about me in the June edition. They are talking to Ben now and will talk to Mandy tomorrow, I hope they only say nice things about me. It will be strange to see it all in print again not just here in the blog. Once again I hope it just helps other people and perhaps does some good.
Flights for the holiday are booked ( hurray ), and the villa is reserved ( hurray ), just need to pay now ( boo ).
I re-read the first few posts from the blog just to check a few dates and details. They were all for my first stay for chemo in hospital. Although it was 5 months ago now it is still very fresh in the memory. I hope I never have to go back to being attached to a drip for ten hours at a time. It was all so alien and the tiredness was just so complete. I think reading it is good for me but I can feel myself getting emotional straight away. Perhaps I'm just tired.
No more for tonight as it is getting late.
Cheers
Tim
I have just been interviewed by the Vale magazine for a piece they are going to write about me in the June edition. They are talking to Ben now and will talk to Mandy tomorrow, I hope they only say nice things about me. It will be strange to see it all in print again not just here in the blog. Once again I hope it just helps other people and perhaps does some good.
Flights for the holiday are booked ( hurray ), and the villa is reserved ( hurray ), just need to pay now ( boo ).
I re-read the first few posts from the blog just to check a few dates and details. They were all for my first stay for chemo in hospital. Although it was 5 months ago now it is still very fresh in the memory. I hope I never have to go back to being attached to a drip for ten hours at a time. It was all so alien and the tiredness was just so complete. I think reading it is good for me but I can feel myself getting emotional straight away. Perhaps I'm just tired.
No more for tonight as it is getting late.
Cheers
Tim
Monday 13 May 2013
Yet more running
Monday 13th May
Another normal busy day at work then back for a training run with the club in the evening. I'm not sure how far tonight as my Garmin turned itself off halfway round but I guess about 5 miles. It has been nice running with different people at club instead of the usual suspects. It gives you something different to talk about and different views on running. Also my little troop for Tewkesbury grew by another one today, I think at the moment there will be 3 or 4 people running with me.
I randomly picked a day to look back at in the blog. 31st of January. It seems a lifetime ago yet it was a chemo outpatient day and it was the fifth session of nine in total so as I remarked we were officially over half way. By that point I was really getting stressed by these brief visits, I was sick in the morning before this one. I also had real problems sitting still. I remember this one particularly as I really couldn't keep my legs and feet from twitching, I just wanted to get up and run around (or away I suspect ). It makes me feel very strange reading these old posts, it is still way too fresh. I can feel myself getting emotional straight away. I'm pretty good at locking things away but during this experience that could not be done and emotion became the norm. Perhaps a good thing, I don't think keeping it in would have been at all good. I know Mand really struggled as she felt she had to contain some of it so as not to upset me, so we just saved it up for a bit then let it go bang, had a cry and a cuddle and then got on with it.
Right, I have important stuff to attend to. We have found a villa in Italy so need to find flights and decide if we want to add a couple of days somewhere else onto the end. Boy do we need this holiday.
Cheers
Tim
Another normal busy day at work then back for a training run with the club in the evening. I'm not sure how far tonight as my Garmin turned itself off halfway round but I guess about 5 miles. It has been nice running with different people at club instead of the usual suspects. It gives you something different to talk about and different views on running. Also my little troop for Tewkesbury grew by another one today, I think at the moment there will be 3 or 4 people running with me.
I randomly picked a day to look back at in the blog. 31st of January. It seems a lifetime ago yet it was a chemo outpatient day and it was the fifth session of nine in total so as I remarked we were officially over half way. By that point I was really getting stressed by these brief visits, I was sick in the morning before this one. I also had real problems sitting still. I remember this one particularly as I really couldn't keep my legs and feet from twitching, I just wanted to get up and run around (or away I suspect ). It makes me feel very strange reading these old posts, it is still way too fresh. I can feel myself getting emotional straight away. I'm pretty good at locking things away but during this experience that could not be done and emotion became the norm. Perhaps a good thing, I don't think keeping it in would have been at all good. I know Mand really struggled as she felt she had to contain some of it so as not to upset me, so we just saved it up for a bit then let it go bang, had a cry and a cuddle and then got on with it.
Right, I have important stuff to attend to. We have found a villa in Italy so need to find flights and decide if we want to add a couple of days somewhere else onto the end. Boy do we need this holiday.
Cheers
Tim
Sunday 12 May 2013
More miles (with sheep)
Sunday 12th May
Today was just about clocking as many miles as I could in one run. Set off through town and up the Cheltenham Road as far as Hinton. I was going to turn right towards Elmley Castle but at the last minute decided to go left towards Childswickham. I have done this run a few times before and was sure it was around 9.5 miles so I would just need a short detour it when I got back to town to make it up to 10 miles. From Childswickham you head for Wickhamford, and this is where I met a sheep stood in the middle of the road. It stood it's ground until I got quite close but then realised I was a hard looking bastard with a skinhead and legged it. I had a bit of a panic as we weren't far from the main road but fortunately it found a gap in the hedge and disappeared into a field.
It was also around this point that I started to figure my memory of the distance involved was a bit off. I was going to reach 10 miles somewhere around the top of Port Street leaving me another mile to go so a total of 11. Oh well, never mind just plough on. I made the full 11 in 1 hour 34 minutes so well inside the target pace for next week's half marathon. I did have to walk a few times but only when I hit an uphill stretch and still managed to keep them to 1 minute at a time.
The legs have felt a little heavy this afternoon, especially after sitting down for a while, but that is only to be expected.
The rest of the day was filled with a shopping trip to Stratford for Mand to get some clothes, although I did join in the buying from Fat Face as they had a sale on. Well it would have been rude not to.
I said from the start of this blog that I would take it through to the race in Tewkesbury which is next Sunday. The final post will probably be a day or two later as race day will be really busy as we are having a bit of a party afterwards. It will be really strange not to be doing it every day, maybe I will start a diary instead. I think I will reread some of the early posts and reminisce during this week before a bit of a summing up at the end. I know Mand would like to do one too.
Cheers
Tim
Today was just about clocking as many miles as I could in one run. Set off through town and up the Cheltenham Road as far as Hinton. I was going to turn right towards Elmley Castle but at the last minute decided to go left towards Childswickham. I have done this run a few times before and was sure it was around 9.5 miles so I would just need a short detour it when I got back to town to make it up to 10 miles. From Childswickham you head for Wickhamford, and this is where I met a sheep stood in the middle of the road. It stood it's ground until I got quite close but then realised I was a hard looking bastard with a skinhead and legged it. I had a bit of a panic as we weren't far from the main road but fortunately it found a gap in the hedge and disappeared into a field.
It was also around this point that I started to figure my memory of the distance involved was a bit off. I was going to reach 10 miles somewhere around the top of Port Street leaving me another mile to go so a total of 11. Oh well, never mind just plough on. I made the full 11 in 1 hour 34 minutes so well inside the target pace for next week's half marathon. I did have to walk a few times but only when I hit an uphill stretch and still managed to keep them to 1 minute at a time.
The legs have felt a little heavy this afternoon, especially after sitting down for a while, but that is only to be expected.
The rest of the day was filled with a shopping trip to Stratford for Mand to get some clothes, although I did join in the buying from Fat Face as they had a sale on. Well it would have been rude not to.
I said from the start of this blog that I would take it through to the race in Tewkesbury which is next Sunday. The final post will probably be a day or two later as race day will be really busy as we are having a bit of a party afterwards. It will be really strange not to be doing it every day, maybe I will start a diary instead. I think I will reread some of the early posts and reminisce during this week before a bit of a summing up at the end. I know Mand would like to do one too.
Cheers
Tim
Saturday 11 May 2013
Running holiday
Saturday 11th May
It is hard to believe but I has actually been a longer time since I finished my treatment than I spent being treated. The last 10 weeks have flown by whereas the previous 9 seemed like a lifetime of misery.
At the moment we only seem to be able to focus on two things.
Firstly finding a holiday. We just want a villa somewhere not too far away where it will be hot, but bearing in mind we will have to go during the school summer holidays it bloody well should be hot. We have to balance the needs of myself (don't care as long as the villa is comfy and I can do nothing much for a week), Mandy (the same but would like some places of interest near by to visit), Ben (wifi!!!!) and Mandy's Mum (not too hot and that everyone else is happy). Unfortunately as we have had to leave it till now a lot of the places we have found that we like are already booked, but something will turn up.
Secondly the race in Tewkesbury. I am more nervous about this one than any other I have ever run. There is some pressure on me to finish (mostly by myself) knowing that a lot of friends will be there willing me on and to see me cross the line. Also of course I must finish because of the sponsorship money I have already collected. At least two friends are going to run with me which will help no end. Mandy is particularly pleased as she thinks I will run too fast on my own and overdo it, not helped by my cancer specialist's reaction to me telling him about the race, but the guys will slow me down being the sensible chaps they are.
The plan is to try to run 10 miles tomorrow morning. I think this will involve some walking but that is OK. Hope the weather is better than today.
Cheers
Tim
It is hard to believe but I has actually been a longer time since I finished my treatment than I spent being treated. The last 10 weeks have flown by whereas the previous 9 seemed like a lifetime of misery.
At the moment we only seem to be able to focus on two things.
Firstly finding a holiday. We just want a villa somewhere not too far away where it will be hot, but bearing in mind we will have to go during the school summer holidays it bloody well should be hot. We have to balance the needs of myself (don't care as long as the villa is comfy and I can do nothing much for a week), Mandy (the same but would like some places of interest near by to visit), Ben (wifi!!!!) and Mandy's Mum (not too hot and that everyone else is happy). Unfortunately as we have had to leave it till now a lot of the places we have found that we like are already booked, but something will turn up.
Secondly the race in Tewkesbury. I am more nervous about this one than any other I have ever run. There is some pressure on me to finish (mostly by myself) knowing that a lot of friends will be there willing me on and to see me cross the line. Also of course I must finish because of the sponsorship money I have already collected. At least two friends are going to run with me which will help no end. Mandy is particularly pleased as she thinks I will run too fast on my own and overdo it, not helped by my cancer specialist's reaction to me telling him about the race, but the guys will slow me down being the sensible chaps they are.
The plan is to try to run 10 miles tomorrow morning. I think this will involve some walking but that is OK. Hope the weather is better than today.
Cheers
Tim
Friday 10 May 2013
More detail
Friday 10th May
I have been told by she who must be obeyed that I did not put in enough detail about yesterday's meeting with the specialist. Not the facts or medical bits but more about the people watching that occurred whilst waiting. I'm afraid Mand and I have a somewhat warped sense of humour in hospitals and find it all too easy to laugh at other people's illness. I think it stems from a gallows type humour that we both use to get us through when things look bleak.
I'm afraid I started Mandy giggling yesterday when a bloke walked past with a big white bandage thing on one ear, he had obviously had some sort of op, and I whispered to Mand 'do you think he knows that's there'. From then on it was open season on everyone.
Mandy also asked me at one point if I thought the doctor would want to examine me which I thought probably not. Bearing in mind where my cancer was she asked if I had put clean pants on! Of course the doctor straight away said 'just hop on the bed and I'll take a look at you'. Marvellous, I just love it when blokes examine my wedding tackle whilst trying to have a normal conversation and knowing Mand is sat the other side of the curtain trying to stifle the giggles.
I did ask him about my lungs and feeling out of breath sometimes, but that it wasn't a problem when I was exercising. He then asked what exercise I was taking to which I replied just gentle jogging, accompanied by a 'huh' from Mand. Explaining that I was running a half marathon in 10 days time he was not over enthusiastic and warned me to take it very easy, much to Mand's delight. But what does he know!!!
Today was back to normal at work. And as I have been asked today, no I did not have a bad head from the champagne last night.
I was able to get back to another pre-illness normality at long last in going for a run on the way home from work. I couldn't up until now due to having to rush to the doctor's for my injection, but no more. So I stopped at the Edstone canal viaduct at Bearley near Sratford. It is the longest canal viaduct in Britain. There I ran 6 nice flat miles including a final mile timed at 7mins 45secs, the first under 8 minute mile I have done since starting running again. Makes Tim happy (but not Mand when she reads this).
I have had a couple of offers from people to run with me at Tewkesbury for company which I will take up. It is going to be bloody hard work but worth it.
Cheers for now. Only 10 more posts to go.
Tim
I have been told by she who must be obeyed that I did not put in enough detail about yesterday's meeting with the specialist. Not the facts or medical bits but more about the people watching that occurred whilst waiting. I'm afraid Mand and I have a somewhat warped sense of humour in hospitals and find it all too easy to laugh at other people's illness. I think it stems from a gallows type humour that we both use to get us through when things look bleak.
I'm afraid I started Mandy giggling yesterday when a bloke walked past with a big white bandage thing on one ear, he had obviously had some sort of op, and I whispered to Mand 'do you think he knows that's there'. From then on it was open season on everyone.
Mandy also asked me at one point if I thought the doctor would want to examine me which I thought probably not. Bearing in mind where my cancer was she asked if I had put clean pants on! Of course the doctor straight away said 'just hop on the bed and I'll take a look at you'. Marvellous, I just love it when blokes examine my wedding tackle whilst trying to have a normal conversation and knowing Mand is sat the other side of the curtain trying to stifle the giggles.
I did ask him about my lungs and feeling out of breath sometimes, but that it wasn't a problem when I was exercising. He then asked what exercise I was taking to which I replied just gentle jogging, accompanied by a 'huh' from Mand. Explaining that I was running a half marathon in 10 days time he was not over enthusiastic and warned me to take it very easy, much to Mand's delight. But what does he know!!!
Today was back to normal at work. And as I have been asked today, no I did not have a bad head from the champagne last night.
I was able to get back to another pre-illness normality at long last in going for a run on the way home from work. I couldn't up until now due to having to rush to the doctor's for my injection, but no more. So I stopped at the Edstone canal viaduct at Bearley near Sratford. It is the longest canal viaduct in Britain. There I ran 6 nice flat miles including a final mile timed at 7mins 45secs, the first under 8 minute mile I have done since starting running again. Makes Tim happy (but not Mand when she reads this).
I have had a couple of offers from people to run with me at Tewkesbury for company which I will take up. It is going to be bloody hard work but worth it.
Cheers for now. Only 10 more posts to go.
Tim
Thursday 9 May 2013
Free at last
Thursday 9th May
Today has been another good news day. Mandy and I went to the hospital for an appointment with my specialist and he said 'no they had not made a mistake' so I am definitely clear. I have been moved from being 'treated' to being 'looked after' for the next ten years. Although he did then say that if nothing happens for five years then he tends to get bored and discharge patients. I should have had my schedule for this year but they had forgotten to put it in my folder, ever the efficient ones. It will be every 2 or 3 months ( he wasn't even sure which of those it would be! ) for the first year, where they will take a blood test and chest x-ray, and then a scan at the end of the year.
And to make things even better I have also had the last injection for the blood clot in my leg tonight so I am free of that as well.
So the barrier has opened and we have gone home. No more bloody trains for me if I have anything to do with it.
I should have run tonight but as it is so miserable outside sod it. We have opened a bottle of champers instead.
Cheers
Tim
Today has been another good news day. Mandy and I went to the hospital for an appointment with my specialist and he said 'no they had not made a mistake' so I am definitely clear. I have been moved from being 'treated' to being 'looked after' for the next ten years. Although he did then say that if nothing happens for five years then he tends to get bored and discharge patients. I should have had my schedule for this year but they had forgotten to put it in my folder, ever the efficient ones. It will be every 2 or 3 months ( he wasn't even sure which of those it would be! ) for the first year, where they will take a blood test and chest x-ray, and then a scan at the end of the year.
And to make things even better I have also had the last injection for the blood clot in my leg tonight so I am free of that as well.
So the barrier has opened and we have gone home. No more bloody trains for me if I have anything to do with it.
I should have run tonight but as it is so miserable outside sod it. We have opened a bottle of champers instead.
Cheers
Tim
Wednesday 8 May 2013
Last day in the station (hopefully)
Tuesday 7th and Wednesday 8th May.
Tuesday was just a normal day at work. I did go for a run afterwards though. Six miles in total although it was very split up. I had already had a couple of my 1 minute walks when I bumped into Simon Hall doing a little speedwork in preparation for Crowle 10K on Sunday, so I stopped and had a chat and then ran with him up into town where we had another brief chat. So all in all a disturbed run but another six miles in the bag.
Today has been just a normal day too with nothing really to write about.
Tomorrow however is another day marked on the calendar as we are off to see my cancer specialist. It was supposed to be to get my results from the scan but obviously I have already had those so hopefully it should just be to get a schedule of what happens for them to look after me and make sure there is nothing going wrong.
Lets put it this way, we got off the train a couple of weeks ago but have been stuck at the barriers on the platform. Hopefully tomorrow they will open and we can go home!
Part of me however can't shake the feeling that there is one last twist to come. I can't believe it would be 'sorry but we made a mistake' or 'we got your results mixed up with somebody else's' ( huge law suit there ) but until he actually says 'congrats' I won't be happy.
Also a busy couple of days for Ben as he is off on his D of E 2 day expedition in the Forest of Dean. Rather him in a tent tomorrow night than me, weather forecast is rain and wind. Lovely!
Cheers for now.
Tim
Tuesday was just a normal day at work. I did go for a run afterwards though. Six miles in total although it was very split up. I had already had a couple of my 1 minute walks when I bumped into Simon Hall doing a little speedwork in preparation for Crowle 10K on Sunday, so I stopped and had a chat and then ran with him up into town where we had another brief chat. So all in all a disturbed run but another six miles in the bag.
Today has been just a normal day too with nothing really to write about.
Tomorrow however is another day marked on the calendar as we are off to see my cancer specialist. It was supposed to be to get my results from the scan but obviously I have already had those so hopefully it should just be to get a schedule of what happens for them to look after me and make sure there is nothing going wrong.
Lets put it this way, we got off the train a couple of weeks ago but have been stuck at the barriers on the platform. Hopefully tomorrow they will open and we can go home!
Part of me however can't shake the feeling that there is one last twist to come. I can't believe it would be 'sorry but we made a mistake' or 'we got your results mixed up with somebody else's' ( huge law suit there ) but until he actually says 'congrats' I won't be happy.
Also a busy couple of days for Ben as he is off on his D of E 2 day expedition in the Forest of Dean. Rather him in a tent tomorrow night than me, weather forecast is rain and wind. Lovely!
Cheers for now.
Tim
Monday 6 May 2013
Sunshine and memories
Monday 6th May
The sun is shining and it is actually warm, an event worthy of anyone's blog.
We had a lovely day in Shrewsbury. Fantastic breakfast at the B&B followed by a stroll along the riverbank. Then we met my brother and his wife for lunch in a tapas bar. All very enjoyable and definitely the better for the sunshine. We even ate our tea outside when we got home.
The only mistake I made today was to go back in this blog and read some of the earlier posts. I have not done this before and I didn't read many before I had to stop. It is all still a bit too fresh. I will go back and read it all at some point but not just yet. In fact I think I will print it out and keep it to look back on. I won't enjoy some of it but it will be interesting to see how all the events during my illness happened in my own words.
One of the posts I read was of the last day that I had chemo. In truth it did not read as bad as I remember it which is probably a good thing although not a great testament to my writing skills. I never want to return to those days or ever feel like that again, I would not wish that sort of treatment on anyone.
Back to reality tomorrow, and back to training as well. Only 13 days to Tewkesbury. Perhaps I had better not eat as much for the next few days as I have for the last few!
Cheers
Tim
The sun is shining and it is actually warm, an event worthy of anyone's blog.
We had a lovely day in Shrewsbury. Fantastic breakfast at the B&B followed by a stroll along the riverbank. Then we met my brother and his wife for lunch in a tapas bar. All very enjoyable and definitely the better for the sunshine. We even ate our tea outside when we got home.
The only mistake I made today was to go back in this blog and read some of the earlier posts. I have not done this before and I didn't read many before I had to stop. It is all still a bit too fresh. I will go back and read it all at some point but not just yet. In fact I think I will print it out and keep it to look back on. I won't enjoy some of it but it will be interesting to see how all the events during my illness happened in my own words.
One of the posts I read was of the last day that I had chemo. In truth it did not read as bad as I remember it which is probably a good thing although not a great testament to my writing skills. I never want to return to those days or ever feel like that again, I would not wish that sort of treatment on anyone.
Back to reality tomorrow, and back to training as well. Only 13 days to Tewkesbury. Perhaps I had better not eat as much for the next few days as I have for the last few!
Cheers
Tim
Sunday 5 May 2013
Relaxed
Sunday 5th May
This is the most relaxed we have been in months. We are at our favourite B&B in a tiny village just outside Shrewsbury. We had a nice lunch on the way here, then a wander around the shops in town including a cup of tea with cake in a café, back to the B&B for a nap, and are now getting ready to go out to eat.
The B&B is a farmhouse with views out across the fields of sheep and is a lovely haven of peace and tranquillity. They even have electricity!
This is a million miles away from what was happening a couple of months ago. It will not happen for a while yet but hopefully it will all seem like a bad dream before too long.
That's all today.
Cheers from a very happy and relaxed Tim and Mandy.
This is the most relaxed we have been in months. We are at our favourite B&B in a tiny village just outside Shrewsbury. We had a nice lunch on the way here, then a wander around the shops in town including a cup of tea with cake in a café, back to the B&B for a nap, and are now getting ready to go out to eat.
The B&B is a farmhouse with views out across the fields of sheep and is a lovely haven of peace and tranquillity. They even have electricity!
This is a million miles away from what was happening a couple of months ago. It will not happen for a while yet but hopefully it will all seem like a bad dream before too long.
That's all today.
Cheers from a very happy and relaxed Tim and Mandy.
Saturday 4 May 2013
More miles
Saturday 4th May ( Star Wars day - see bottom of page )
Got up early this morning ( 6.15 ) to have porridge for breakfast before driving to Badsey to go for a run. I started in Badsey because we had a 10K committee meeting at 9 o'clock there so I needed to have finished the run by then. I ran to Willersey and back, a total of eight and a half miles. Again I ran quicker than planned but I'm used to that after years of doing it. Started to tire at 7.5 but managed to keep going for that last mile with the help of Robert who was also running to the meeting.
The meeting lasted for a couple of hours so I was pretty stiff legged by the end. Never good to sit down for a long time just after a run, you need to keep moving. However I feel OK now so it's all good.
I managed a quick trip to Tesco before lunch followed by the agony of listening to the final day of the football season for Forest. Fell at the last hurdle. In previous years I would have brooded about this for ages and been in a foul temper but given the events leading to doing this blog I appreciate that it is no big deal. Just glad that I will be here for next season at all, I don't really care which division we are in.
No training allowed for the next two days as they are for pure relaxation, and I don't mind a bit.
Cheers
Tim
PS. Star Wars day - May the 4th ( say it out loud ! )
Got up early this morning ( 6.15 ) to have porridge for breakfast before driving to Badsey to go for a run. I started in Badsey because we had a 10K committee meeting at 9 o'clock there so I needed to have finished the run by then. I ran to Willersey and back, a total of eight and a half miles. Again I ran quicker than planned but I'm used to that after years of doing it. Started to tire at 7.5 but managed to keep going for that last mile with the help of Robert who was also running to the meeting.
The meeting lasted for a couple of hours so I was pretty stiff legged by the end. Never good to sit down for a long time just after a run, you need to keep moving. However I feel OK now so it's all good.
I managed a quick trip to Tesco before lunch followed by the agony of listening to the final day of the football season for Forest. Fell at the last hurdle. In previous years I would have brooded about this for ages and been in a foul temper but given the events leading to doing this blog I appreciate that it is no big deal. Just glad that I will be here for next season at all, I don't really care which division we are in.
No training allowed for the next two days as they are for pure relaxation, and I don't mind a bit.
Cheers
Tim
PS. Star Wars day - May the 4th ( say it out loud ! )
Friday 3 May 2013
Sore
Thursday 2nd and Friday 3rd May
Sorry about there not being a post yesterday but there was just no time and to be honest not a lot to write. Normal day at work followed by my injection. The injections are tough at the moment as I am really badly bruised on my right hand side. I don't know why all of a sudden but it is sore and hurts when they stick the needle in, still only a week left I hope.
When I got home we had tea and I tried to get as many jobs done for Mand as possible so that she could get on with work. If she can get enough done then we are going to Shrewsbury for a night on Sunday. It will be fantastic just to relax and then meet up with my brother and his wife on Monday who we do not see enough. My brother and I are very alike even though he is 10 years older than me, not in looks particularly but in our personalities.
I also had to play skittles last night in our second cup final of the week. Whereas the first one we won so easily it was actually boring this one was close all the way through. So close that it was level at the end and we had to play 'extra time' as it were. Unfortunately we lost by one pin but we mustn't be greedy as we have won nearly everything else this year.
It was late when I got home and Mand was already in bed so I went straight to bed too which was a mistake as I hadn't had time to unwind. Lying awake was not good as my mind wandered around about the last few months and I found myself getting tearful and upset. I could have done with a hug really but Mand is so tired from working too hard that I didn't want to wake her.
Today has been a normal day too but at least neither of us has to work or go out tonight so we can relax. In fact Mand has just delivered me a G & T so I'm off to enjoy it now.
Cheers
Tim
Sorry about there not being a post yesterday but there was just no time and to be honest not a lot to write. Normal day at work followed by my injection. The injections are tough at the moment as I am really badly bruised on my right hand side. I don't know why all of a sudden but it is sore and hurts when they stick the needle in, still only a week left I hope.
When I got home we had tea and I tried to get as many jobs done for Mand as possible so that she could get on with work. If she can get enough done then we are going to Shrewsbury for a night on Sunday. It will be fantastic just to relax and then meet up with my brother and his wife on Monday who we do not see enough. My brother and I are very alike even though he is 10 years older than me, not in looks particularly but in our personalities.
I also had to play skittles last night in our second cup final of the week. Whereas the first one we won so easily it was actually boring this one was close all the way through. So close that it was level at the end and we had to play 'extra time' as it were. Unfortunately we lost by one pin but we mustn't be greedy as we have won nearly everything else this year.
It was late when I got home and Mand was already in bed so I went straight to bed too which was a mistake as I hadn't had time to unwind. Lying awake was not good as my mind wandered around about the last few months and I found myself getting tearful and upset. I could have done with a hug really but Mand is so tired from working too hard that I didn't want to wake her.
Today has been a normal day too but at least neither of us has to work or go out tonight so we can relax. In fact Mand has just delivered me a G & T so I'm off to enjoy it now.
Cheers
Tim
Wednesday 1 May 2013
Running
Wednesday 1st May
I cannot believe we are into May already, but at least the sun is shining even if it's not that hot yet.
I got up really early this morning and ran three and a half miles starting at about 6.30. It was a cold but beautifully clear morning. The run was OK but I did lack energy as I hadn't time for anything to eat, just up and straight out. I always did struggle to run well on empty but obviously it is even more difficult at the moment. My breathing was also worse than it has been on previous runs but I suppose that is not surprising as I seem to have difficulty when I am lying down, so maybe it takes time to clear in a morning. I will have to talk to the doctors again about it when I see them next week.
On the whole I am pleased with the way the training is going now. It was a shock to the system how hard it was to start even though I was expecting it to be. My mind just said keep going but there was nothing in my legs at all. At least now I can run for a while before I wilt.
I am trying to do some exercises at home to strengthen my core muscles, but time usually gets in the way. It is helping a bit though. My back ached when I first started but it is OK now.
Tewkesbury is going to be very interesting. I feel now that I might be able to run the whole way if I am very disciplined with my speed and prepare beforehand properly. Lets hope for good weather on the day, for me and for Mand and Ben watching.
Planning a short run on Friday evening and then a long one on Saturday morning. I'm going to push the distance again and see what happens.
Cheers
Tim
I cannot believe we are into May already, but at least the sun is shining even if it's not that hot yet.
I got up really early this morning and ran three and a half miles starting at about 6.30. It was a cold but beautifully clear morning. The run was OK but I did lack energy as I hadn't time for anything to eat, just up and straight out. I always did struggle to run well on empty but obviously it is even more difficult at the moment. My breathing was also worse than it has been on previous runs but I suppose that is not surprising as I seem to have difficulty when I am lying down, so maybe it takes time to clear in a morning. I will have to talk to the doctors again about it when I see them next week.
On the whole I am pleased with the way the training is going now. It was a shock to the system how hard it was to start even though I was expecting it to be. My mind just said keep going but there was nothing in my legs at all. At least now I can run for a while before I wilt.
I am trying to do some exercises at home to strengthen my core muscles, but time usually gets in the way. It is helping a bit though. My back ached when I first started but it is OK now.
Tewkesbury is going to be very interesting. I feel now that I might be able to run the whole way if I am very disciplined with my speed and prepare beforehand properly. Lets hope for good weather on the day, for me and for Mand and Ben watching.
Planning a short run on Friday evening and then a long one on Saturday morning. I'm going to push the distance again and see what happens.
Cheers
Tim
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