Mandy's view

Saturday 6th April

I wanted to write today rather than Tim, just to give my slant on the past few weeks. As he has said everything has been quite positive for him. He does get tired but I'm glad he is being sensible most of the time and resting when he needs to. It is great to see him improving by the day and becoming more like his old self. We are both aware of the uncertainty still hanging over everything and I particularly find it frustrating not being able to plan things too far ahead. We need a holiday to look forward to and we can do nothing about that until after the 25th of this month at the earliest. We also need to find out about things like flying with his blood clot, they may say it won't be a problem by the summer but we need to know.

I know he mentioned the emotional box being opened again on Tuesday but he didn't elaborate. It was my fault getting upset about the night away. It wasn't really about that it was just triggered by the whole frustration of our unseemingly never ending run of bad luck. The tears unfortunately once unleashed wouldn't stop and I ended up spoiling the day we did have together. Tim got upset too which I didn't mean to happen but I guess the whole pressure of the scan and subsequent appointment is bound to make us both emotionally unstable at times!

The boys have just got back from the football together. It is great that they are able to start doing outings like that again although with the driving to Nottingham and back I suspect Tim will be shattered tomorrow. He has a couple of days to recover before he is back at work on Tuesday though so its not an issue. He is coming to the gym with me in the morning so I will have to keep a beady on him and make sure he is sensible in there especially once he reaches the running machine!

These six weeks are flying past and part of me is eager to get the next bit out of the way and part of me wants to stay in ignorance. Limbo is not a good place to be really though and we just have to take a deep breath and face what is to come.

Mandy