Big step forwards

Monday 18th February

Firstly a big thank you to Mandy for keeping the blog going whilst I had no internet access. I can't believe how much I have come to use the internet to keep up with what is going on. I missed it whilst I couldn't use it. Sad but true.

So back home at last. Got here about 10 o'clock Sunday night, very tired and feeling a bit sick on the way home ( nothing to do with the driving, honest! ) so straight to bed. A few tears from me before settling down but I think it was as much relief as anything. I slept OK but Mandy had to head for the spare bed when my snoring became too much at about 4am. I do hope this goes away again when the chemo finally finishes.

Not too bad a morning either. The appetite is a bit better then before. Started with the obligatory Weetabix for breakfast, but also managed an apple mid morning and soup and bread for lunch. If this can be kept up then hopefully the energy levels will be higher than before.

Obviously this seems like a huge step forward. That should be my last session of having to stay in hospital. I'm going to stay guarded about saying it 'is' my last one and stick with 'should' be. My cancer doctor and my Macmillan nurse are both still confident and making all the right noises but we seem to have had so much bad news it is difficult to get out of expecting bad news. I now just have two outpatient top ups this Friday and the following Friday. Then it is 6 weeks or thereabouts to a CT scan and another two weeks for the results.

The stay in hospital was probably the best and easiest of the three I have had. Having your own room makes the stay so much nicer. Just being able to sleep more is fantastic. As Mandy said my chemo sessions went on later than before, just after midnight on Friday and 2am on Saturday but I did manage to sleep during these so not so bad. Also knowing you are the only one using your loo and shower is nice!!

You don't get to meet as many other patients when you are not on the wards but I did have a chat with a guy called Mark in the dayroom whilst looking for the football scores on the tele. Speaking to others can be a very humbling experience and makes even me in my position realise how lucky you can be. Mark had been mis-diagnosed for a year before finally insisting on paying privately for the scans that found his stomach cancer. The cancer was now pushing on his kidneys damaging them to such an extent that they stopped working recently and he almost died. They now have to get them working properly before he can even start to have chemo on his cancer. Even this, due to the delay, is now too late and is just to extend his life for hopefully about a year. He is a similar age to me and had just achieved the promotion at work that he had been trying for for ages. He then told me that he was getting married that afternoon so as to make things legal and easier for him, his fiancé and daughter. It is all so sad but you really have to admire people's strength and determination when they are fighting what they know will ultimately be a losing battle. Especially when in this case an earlier realisation of the cancer could have saved him.

I have written this quite early today as I imagine I will be very tired tonight. I'm going to try a walk as it is such a beautiful day but it will be a short one.

Cheers

Tim