A hard lesson learnt

Sunday 10th February

The last few days have taught me quite a harsh lesson. I have definitely overdone it and have paid the price, particularly yesterday and again today. It has showed me that even when I feel OK I must not try to carry on as if everything was back to normal, but must still take it easy. The last two days I have felt pretty awful and all for the sake of a couple of trips out that I need not have done.

It seems like I have taken a step backwards having felt so good on Thursday and Friday. When that happens without it being due to a treatment it is hard to take mentally. I wanted to have a good run up to the final stay in hospital knowing that this one is really going to knock me down hard. I have a feeling that I am already starting to get wound up about the coming session as well which is not helping.

Last night I did not sleep well despite being so tired. I hadn't managed to eat in the evening as I could not face food and probably didn't drink enough either. For some reason I seem to get blocked up at night which makes me snore sometimes and also to wake myself up with a kind of 'snorting'. Obviously this also disturbs Mandy which I am very conscious of, so about 12.30 after having woken up several times ( both myself and Mandy ) I removed myself to the sofa downstairs. I watched a little tele in order to try to drink a little but then managed to sleep until 5.30, from which time I dozed until 7.30 and everyone else was awake. I took a cup of tea up for everyone and went back to bed. Again dozed until 10 o'clock when I decided to have breakfast. Unfortunately getting up did not go well as I had to head straight to the bathroom to be sick. I am convinced that the sickness I have in mornings is connected to the being blocked up that makes me snore.

I still managed breakfast almost straight after being sick, weird but true. My head was thumping by this time so back to bed with a migraine tablet. I basically didn't get out of bed again until gone 3 this afternoon apart from a brief get up for the district nurse to give me my anti blood clot injection.

This is one bright point amidst the gloom of the moment, my leg at last seems to be almost better. Occasional pain but on the whole I can walk normally again. The district nurse is very nice as well, not at all Gladys Emmanuel, and very quick and efficient at the injections.

Finally got up this afternoon and managed a little lunch, and was cheered up greatly by watching England beat the Irish in the Rugby. One of my nurses when I have to stay in hospital is a huge Irish rugby fan so I shall enjoy that at least when I am in.

I am now quite comfy with the loss of hair from my head, apart from the fact of feeling the cold! It has been a bit strange as I first noticed hair loss from under my arms and from 'another area' shall we say. Then the hair started going from my head but seemed to stop falling out from anywhere else. Now my head is bald but all my other body hair is OK, arms legs etc. Even my eyebrows have survived which is good as this makes me look much better. Mandy was threatening to varnish them on but hopefully that won't be needed now. The only place I wish it had gone from but it hasn't is the back of my hands as this is where they stick down the cannula... and then rip the plaster off again! Some of the nurses take great pleasure from that too.

It is only approaching 6.30 but I am wilting again so I am going to finish now.

Cheers until tomorrow.

Tim